What is wrong with me?

[Cajann]

Long story short, I'm having a hard time being a stepmum. But after a lot of thought I'm pretty sure that I'm sticking it out (5 years into the game now).

But a specific problem I have is feeling like I dont want to share. I dont want to share the food in my cupboards or pretty much my home with my step kid. But I do share it because that what I am supposed to do. I do all the stepmum things but at times I feel so resentful and as though I am having to suffer through something and that makes me not want to give my stepson things. Then another times I do and I treat him to different things.

I feel really resentful especially after longer periods of having my stepkid in my home, such as the holidays. I feel as though I never get time in my home to relax.

What is wrong with me? :(

But yea, he has told me his son trumps everybody and next to him, I am nothing.

Did he actually use those words or are you paraphrasing?

On a side note I don't understand personal treats. We just bought whatever crap, put it in thr cupboard and when it was done replaced it. No one was overly greedy or ate the lot all at once. I honestly don't think we ever once had an argument about such a thing.

Not paraphrasing.

It was about two years ago and it was after a bad argument. I had woken in the middle of the night and my partner wasnt in bed. So I went to the toilet and looked around the house for him. I couldn't find him and so checked my ss bedroom and found him in bed with him. I rolled my eyes, and went to bed. But my partner had seen this. I didn't know because I thought he was sleeping. To me it was a throwaway reaction that I never thought he would see, but he did because he was awake.

The next morning, he had a massive row, calling me jealous etc. Which i guess i was (in general) because I sometimes felt a bit neglected. Then he said those exact words and worse.

You aren't selfish! Lots of parents have a secret stash but because it's a step parent all of a sudden you aren't cut out to be one and you're selfish.

The double standards on these threads really get on my tits. Nothing wrong with not wanting to share!

On a side note I don't understand personal treats. We just bought whatever crap, put it in thr cupboard and when it was done replaced it. No one was overly greedy or ate the lot all at once. I honestly don't think we ever once had an argument about such a thing.

OP’s partner and his son eat all the treats though, which is why she wants her own. His son is allowed to eat so many that he’s physically sick sometimes!

You felt neglected, because you are. Your partner puts you bottom of the pile and I’m afraid that’s where you’ll stay if you stay with him.

I have a stash. Neither DC, DSD or DH are allowed anywhere near it.

And have recently been v clear with DSD that the contents of my bathroom cupboards are equally out of bounds.

As is my expensive bath oil. As is the lighting of my scented candles.

There's nothing wrong with you OP.

You are in a position where you're bottom of the heap every weekend and you're rightfully pissed off about it.

Ok, are you jealous of his son op, is that part of this?

Then he said those exact words and worse.

The mor you post the more sorry I feel for you.

There are many partners out there that aren’t like this OP.

The way he’s treating you isn’t right.

Your partner is the problem, he doesn't want to parent his child. Can either you or so be allocated their own toilet, or bar him from one? Too many sweets is not good, how does the mother feel?
Your partner should back you up on reasonable rules otherwise it's not going to work. You have known this child since he was3 but you count for nothing. You should have great relationship by now, dp is preventing that. I would go out and leave them, don't cook or shop.
Tell him things have to change. Don't put up with it