Should I have the step-children while hubby goes on holiday?

[Shellyflower]

AIBU?? I found out from my hubby’s best friend that he’d arranged to go on a golf holiday for 9 days in Florida with his mates and he’d not even talked about it with me.
He’s the main breadwinner and I said that whilst I couldn’t really say no (he’d already paid a deposit) that as long as I didn’t have to have the stepchildren and that we could afford it then I’d be ok with it.
My stepson is 3 and my stepdaughter is 7 and I have a daughter of 8. We have the stepkids every Wednesday overnight and Friday to Monday every other weekend. The holiday falls so that hubby is back on the Sunday afternoon of what should be our weekend. I just can’t physically be in 3 places at the same time for school pick up and drop off but I don’t think he’s thought about that.
I have the children when he’s golfing for 8 hours at weekends and tbh I’m looking forward to a bit of time off from the stepchildren. I feel guilty saying that and I’ve not admitted it to DH. I can’t afford a holiday away so the chances of me getting a break are nil. I just think I needed to get my thoughts out there and see what other people think!

I would be furious if my DH booked a 9-day golfing holiday without telling me, never mind the bit about him expecting you to look after his kids while he’s away! I can’t believe you had to find out from his friend

I suspect when op says good dad she means in all other areas! Not agreeing with what he has done I think it's terribly disrespectful to you to not even discuss it, and I certainly wouldn't accept that. It's selfish and I find it very strange that a married man pays for his own holiday but by the sounds of it isn't arranging one for his family?
That being said it doesn't make him a shit dad, he has done a stupid inconsiderate thing, but none of you know why he is no longer with EW, or how he parents usually so jumping on the shit dad bandwagon is a little harsh!

What a dick. I’d find his spectacular selfishness incredibly unattractive.

When is this holiday?

If my husband was going on a 10 day holiday to Florida I'd be going to, having a golf weekend with mates is okay, 10 days in Florida with his mates and your expected to take his kids, he's a cheeky bastard, i'd tell him where to go and it wouldn't be Florida!!!!

It's bad husband bingo. Golf/financial abuse/selfishness/bad father/no communication. I can't believe this is real tbh.

how he parents usually

Did you miss the sentence in the first post where he golfs for 8 hours every weekend??? So what would you call him if not a shit dad??

He isnt a good dad and he is a terrible husband

Exactly what do YOU get out of this because its clear he gets out of it:
a nanny
and a cleaner
For absolutely no money at all (as you dont seem to share finances)
Doesnt even manage to not go to golf when he has his children and now wants to swan off for 9 days

If anything you are underreacting to this

MrsKeats
You're so right!

Wtaf have I just read?

This is bullshit OP. Your husband is a massive pisstaker. 8 hours on a weekend? He's got it made hasn't he!

No I didn't miss it, but branding people shit dads because you feel what they do isn't up to your standards is just ridiculous.
I don't personally agree with his behavior and don't think where your coming from is necessarily wrong, I just don't think labeling people shit when you actually know nothing about them is ok. I might be totally if make and he is totally shit, but as op has said he is a great dad then I think benefit of the doubt that is is great in other areas is fair.

*wrong not "if make" ?

How is he a good father if he doesn’t spend time with his children in the little time they are with him.

What a poor excuse for a man.

Him going away on a golf holiday with his mate: ok
Him going without talking to you about it first: not ok
Him going on boys holidays but not going with you for the same length of time: not ok
Him not going on holiday with his kids: not ok
Him expecting you to look after his kids whilst he's away: shocking!

I think you need a new husband!
What a selfish arsewipe.

So .... he married someone who would watch/cook for/clean up after/entertain his children every weekend while he pisses off to play golf ... and now he's going on an expensive holiday with his buddy, and probably expecting you to hold down the fort. And I bet you do the heavy lifting at home.

What a winner you've married.

First of all, I can’t believe he’s booked a fairly long holiday so far away without even informing you. That’s the main problem!. But you definitely shouldn’t have to look after his own children, they visit him to see him, not you.

If I was you I'd say nothing about the holiday and let him know you're visiting family with your DD8 at the same time he's going away.

The bar is so low on here I agree.
I just can’t imagine people live like this.

Helllll noooo!! They have parents to do that! You are not a babysitter!

She is though. She babysits every other Saturday.

Jesus, what a prick. I would be telling him he wasn't golfing on the weekends his kids were there, let alone going on holiday. Why haven't you spoken up before now??

Well she needs to tell him
That is a no no! And that he needs to find an alternative person for childcare if he has to work! It's not her job!

As a divorced woman, I mean no disrespect to you, but the time my child is not with me is to spend with her dad. If her dad didn't want her, I'd want her to stay with me. Plus, your oh is a knob for doing this to you!!

Yeah, you are being used

He does not respect you