Did you get a card or present from your sc?

[snowman72]

Just wondering whether any of you received anything from your step children, I never get anything from mine not a card a mention on his card, never do on Birthdays, xmas, any occasion and rightly or wrongly it gets to me.

I've been in their life now 6 years, we all live together well they are with us 50% of the time, me and their dad are married. My own 2 dcs got my husband a small present and wrote in a card thank u for being a great step dad! Which I thought was lovely, but it just made me sad as I got nothing. I know it's partly dh fault but I'm really just wondering what other step parents get or do? My sc are 13 and 15 my dcs are 12 and 15

snowman72 so he gets defensive and puts it on their shoulders, even though he hasn’t helped them to do anything? It’s up to him to facilitate. If he doesn’t step up (pardon the pun) then you should step down from any parenting duties he expects of you. Bloody thankless position it is.

Yes I get my step mum something every year.
My dad met my step mum when I was 7 and they split when I was 12. I’m now 29 and still love her dearly she will always be my step mum. At age 12 I made the decision to stay in touch with her my mum helped and we are very close now.
I understand why your disappointed the dc are at an age that they should be considering you especially as your not new in their lives. Shame on your dh though for not sorting something it’s really his fault.

@RagingWhoreBag - thankyou. It has been a very rocky road for ds1 and 2 this past year as their Dad forced the OW on them barely 4 weeks after we split. Which is why I'm so surprised he didn't purchase her anything from them.

I actually think it's a bit mean of him and feel a bit sorry for her.

@ChristmasFlary

You're a saint. I couldn't bring myself to buy a anything for the OW if I was in your shoes....not even for my DC.

I'd direct them to their father.

Yeah always and my ds always gets dh something too. I also get something for my sds brother who is not my Dhs child.

Nothing for their Dad or me. Bought for their DM, SDF, Grandparents, friends etc. and went through the list to tell us what they'd bought (some quite expensive presents funded by part time jobs). DH would have been happy with a key ring.

DH and I bought each other a token gift and wrapped them from SDC (15 and 16) to give us (gave them money to buy them last year which they spent on their DM).

Received a snotty text from their DM saying that DD's were upset as they felt DH had hinted that they should have bought something themselves. Not going to bother next year.

@SandyY2K - l did say to ds1 that it wasn't up to me to do it and he should ask his Dad. I told him l really was not happy with the situation but as he was so scared that his Dad would be cross if he didn't get her a gift, I'd do it on this occasion.

Do they get something for their mum and dad? My kids don't get me presents for Xmas and I don't expect them to, theycdont have much money and I'd rather they spend it on something else. They don't give Xmas cards either because it's not something their generation do. They do get me a card and small present for my birthday.

It is sad if they get their parents something but never do for you as that would imply they don't like you much. Are they friendly towards you otherwise?

Nope. Been with DP for over 3 years. Not one present or card from his DC

Adult DSD has ignored my last two birthdays. Got me a few bits and bobs from the chemist for Christmas. She spoiled her younger siblings and Dad which is more important to me. I do feel a bit put in my place.

I bought for my SM exactly the same amount I bought for my dad

I am 28 though and she has been in my life as long as I can remember.

When I was younger I would buy token gifts and always did the same
For her and my dad then too.

Nope, nothing from teen SDCs. I have been with their dad over a decade.

DH insisted this year that I give them money in cards just from me, on top of the gifts bought from both of us. I felt a bit awkward given that they turned up with a gift for their dad and chocolates for their younger siblings but nothing for me. I doubt it’ll change next year!

Seriously msevs that's not on...I'm angry on your behalf!! Why don't YOU tell your SC that it's not an appropriate behaviour, they are hurtful and that they are in your house? Seems your DH is not on your side and won't spek up for you...

I’m a mum to 2 dcs (mine, not DP’s) and also have 2 SDs.
Every occasion the kids get me a collective present... DP takes them out and the 4 of them pick me something nice... even for Mother’s Day.
It’s down to your DP to sort I think

I almost fell off the sofa this year. Have been in my DSC’s lives 5 years. They are 10 & 13. They have never ever even made a card for their dad, let alone thought to buy one or give a present. I’ve always taken them out and prompted them and bought something from them.

This year the eldest (13) asked if she could go shopping on her own and she chose gifts and gave them. We were thrilled.

It’s important that kids learn the art of receiving AND giving.

Yes gotta train em up. Dh should help, they don't know what's expected if you don't tell them

Msevs that's weird. I would do this if new relationships, but now you are all established from dad and msevs is fine, maybe a token personal item but cash in a card is impersonal unless they prefer to choose their own

It should have been your dh pointing out to his dc that they need to give you a gift. At that age kids won’t often realise the right thing to do. I suggest you don’t get involved in their gift buying for their birthdays etc— let your DP manage it all. I also suggest not prompting your DC to give your DP anything. It’s easy to not ‘get’ the emotional stuff for other people when your own emotional needs are being met — lets see what his attitude is, when his own DSD don’t remember to get him birthday / fathers day/ christmas gifts.

I know it's down to my dh really, their mum encourages them to get her partner of a year to get presents, cards etc they even got him presents for Father's Day! But you'd think by them doing that there they would think they should at least write a card out.

It's rude of your DP and the children. Poundland token stocking gifts etc is better than nothing and easy.
I got dp gifts from our baby and from the children but he didn't bother. It's his fault not theirs and I won't bother next year as it irritates me (they were cheap £5 gifts).

Nothing from DSS for Christmas or Birthday but I always get something on Mother’s Day. DSS is only four so it’s his dad’s responsibility really and I guess I do feel quite hurt- especially when I go out of my way to ensure DSS has birthday and Christmas presents to give to his dad- but at the same time I don’t want to raise it with my partner in case I look grabby?

Nope.

And for the first time, I got nothing for them. They are adults now, so I respond to them. They don’t give, I don’t give.

My dsd helped pick the gift from dh and from what he said she insisted on that one! But that is the first gift I've had from dsd.

Nope never had anything from her. I always make sure to get a card with her to her Dad (my DP) and her Mum (nobody else will do it) yet not once has my DP sorting one out from her for me She's almost 7 and I've been in her life about 4/5 years now.

Last year eldest gave me a really quite thoughtful gift, same again this year and younger did give a gift, who doesn't like chocolate!

However, they are now mid/late teenagers, earning some money, I think they just think more. Went years with nothing, it's what happens, same old same old, be the adult....