Did you get a card or present from your sc?

[snowman72]

Just wondering whether any of you received anything from your step children, I never get anything from mine not a card a mention on his card, never do on Birthdays, xmas, any occasion and rightly or wrongly it gets to me.

I've been in their life now 6 years, we all live together well they are with us 50% of the time, me and their dad are married. My own 2 dcs got my husband a small present and wrote in a card thank u for being a great step dad! Which I thought was lovely, but it just made me sad as I got nothing. I know it's partly dh fault but I'm really just wondering what other step parents get or do? My sc are 13 and 15 my dcs are 12 and 15

Not an SM myself, but my teen DS buys for his SM. Nothing too extravagant, but this year part of it was a nice little decoration about family, as she and ex have just had their own baby.

Last year he almost bought her a "mum" Mother's Day card, simply because he couldn't find anything else that suited lazy arse

His dad very thoughtfully talked him out of it, but I actually thought it was a bit cute!

I'd let DH know you're feeling a little down about it. He should be encouraging them

I did but he is 32!

I think it's just the thought would be nice, I don't really need or want a present but just a mention something! Would be appreciated. I used to for my step parents my real parents would get more and treated etc but out of respect I got something for my step parents and I've encouraged my dcs to do the same but I guess I'm not in control of this one, but it hurts especially as I still buy them separate presents from their dad

My DH had to be reminded (by me) to get something for his SM. I would find it embarrassing to be there when FIL is given something and SMIL isn't.

I did. A card and a little present. He also got my 3 dogs a present each too as he says they are his brothers. He's 6.

I should say he asks my DH to help him get me it. He picks what he wants to get me and DH obviously pays for it.

My first year as a step mum - 13yr old step daughter made me a card saying I was the best step mum in the world and that she loved me. A tear may have been shed. I think after 6 years of nothing I’d be slightly hurt OP, their Dad should be making sure they do something! Even if it’s from all the children including your own!

Exactly, he thinks I'm being over sensitive, maybe I am but I can't help it!

Yes. Dsd (23) always buys me something for Christmas and my birthday. I get a card on Mother's Day too, which is lovely as she has a perfectly good mum already. Mine never say 'mum' on them but they are always lovely. She also usually posts something sentimental on Facebook on my birthday which is nice as my 3 ds would never do any sort of pda on social media
I'm lucky though and both Dh and dsd's mum have always encouraged her to show me affection and appreciation.
Speak to Dh and explain that it would be appreciated if they could at least get you a token card or gift.

Not sure if I can class myself as a step-Mum as neither I nor they live with their Dad and they are both young adults, but yes they sent a card in the post and bought me and my DCs a gift.

I can understand you feeling upset OP

Nothing from my 3 but to be fair, they didn’t get their dad anything either even though I gave them cash to get him something. I’ve since found out their dad also gave them cash to buy me a wee thing. Seems they used our cash to buy something for their mum...

Yes, I got some perfume and we got a joint present as well (kettle). But I've been in his life for 19 years and he lived with us full time.

My dh always gets nice, thoughtful gifts from my children (grown up)
Not only do I not get anything from them
neither does their own father. Nothing for his birthday, not even a text.

I suppose my dads partner is a step parent but I've never viewed her that way. Long story. I usually give them a joint present and card for Christmas and a birthday card if it's a big one then I get her a present too.

Yeh see you don't even view her as a step parent whereas I do a lot in their lives, all the parental things you do as well as washing, cooking, help with homework take them out for lunch/dinner. Look after them when ill, run around after them. It just would be nice to be acknowledged sometimes. Feeling sorry for myself

Why don't you talk to DH about it? He should get involved I think..its hurtful to not acknowledge you like that..

I get gifts from SD for Christmas and birthdays ..some really nice and thoughtful.

My dpartner has two daughters and I got presents for my birthday and Christmas from them both, we got a joint card for Christmas that says to dad and moolady and on my birthday it's normally a cute or funny card that says to moolady

Yes a really thoughtful present to do with something I love and got dd 16 his step sister a lovely small present.

When he was younger dh bought presents for him to give to me and now he s older he has carried on.

I think your dh should be making sure they do to teacher them thoughtfulness.

I have talked to dh, his initial reaction on the defensive, they're not here enough to of sorted anything , they are here 3 or 4 nights a week and they sorted everyone else out in the house. Then he said I'm sure they bought you a card, but again I didn't get it and now he says he's not sure.

Anyway I had another chat with him today tried to explain how I felt and they may need pointing in the right direction from him. He did say he would speak to them but doesn't know when! He doesn't get all the emotional stuff he says!

Pleeeeeease dont take it personally, as a step child mmyself (now in my 30's) I think back to all the times I came across badly and I've always said that I wish there was a book for 'step family etiquette', knowing whats appropriate, how to avoid hurting others feelings, the right amount of affection to use etc etc, eeeeeeespecially as a teen! I'm sure they do appreciate you, I'm sure theh're just finding their way, trying not to upset mum, get to know you still and be a teenager at the same time, dont give up, you sound like a great step mum! X

XH and l split last year. He now lives with OW. I have asked on here myself if l should purchase her a gift from the children and received a resounding NO, and it's up to him to sort out a gift in that situation.

However, 2 days before Christmas DS2 asked to get OW a gift. I wasn't overly happy as l do think it's not up to me to do it, but he said he felt guilty for not giving her one.

I wrapped up a gift for her through gritted teeth...

Well I wouldn't expect their mum to sort it out, they wouldn't ask her anyway, my 2 don't particularly like their dads gf she's not really part of their life but while we were out Xmas shopping I did encourage them to get her a gift. I do also help them get their dad a present, I suppose this is why I'm feeling the way I do too. I feel I go out of my way to make people happy but don't get the same back, I've never said anything but this time it just hurt more I don't know why

DH and I arrange gifts for each other from the DC and they chose lovely things.

You’re right to address it with DH as on the whole children enjoy giving gifts and it’s a good thing to get in the habit.

He also got my 3 dogs a present each too as he says they are his brothers. He's 6.. That’s adorable!

@ChristmasFlary you must be proud of your DS for being so thoughtful. As much as it’s annoying to have to facilitate, you know you’ve done a good job with him.