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Original poster

Family court and reduction in contact for private nursery

298 replies

ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 13:07

My other half is in family court tomorrow. He's self representing. It's a contested final hearing.

He recieved his ex's position statement which states she will agree no increase to current contact (which we expected). But that she wants to discuss a reduction in contact to facilitate the child going to private nursery 5 days a week as she wishes to go back to work. She is offering the bog standard every other weekend with one evening for dinner but must stay locally. The child is currently 22 months old.

He currently has 3 days wed/thur/Fri with an overnight in week 1 and Fri Sat sun in week 2 with an overnight. He wants to increase contact to add the additional overnights in.

He has no issue with her going to nursery. But since he already has this contact and he can care for the child instead of her going to nursery, how could this go down in a final hearing?

He has to prepare himself as self rep - and needs to work out how to address it without coming across badly. Any tips or experience with this?

OP posts:
TulipsInbloom1 · 04/12/2018 19:32

Why not offer Mum to book and pay for every monday and tuesday childcare, then dad can look to arranging and paying for his own every other week arrangement.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:32

Because I have a full working knowledge of all benefits including the new universal credit. I know what her skill set is, and what her earning range will be. It isn't difficult to work it out.
Mum is a low wage earner even at full time.

OP posts:
WomanAndProud · 04/12/2018 19:33

Why doesn't he offer to reimburse 50% of Wed Thursday, which she signs up for so it doesn't cost much? If the child is in day care We'd/Thurs every second week it benefits both of them.

MissMalice · 04/12/2018 19:33

If the order said overnights to be increased and she’s breached the order as it currently then I’d say your DP has a fairly strong case.

Winterishere2018 · 04/12/2018 19:34

What a drip feed op surely that information is relevant in the intital op.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:37

He has basically had to go back for an explicit order as there was too much for "parents to agree to increase" and "parents to make sensible arrnagements". It just doesn't work. It needs an explicit order unfortunately.

Even if mum earns too much for the 2 uear old funding, once it is offered, it will continue for the full year. It isn't removed (like the 30 hour funding). She will be eligible from April, and mum will be unlikely to get a job prior to that. She will get the 2 year funding offer around Feb time. So once she has it, it doesn't matter her earnings.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:39

Drip feed??

OP posts:
VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:41

That will only last for a year though. Once the funded year is up she’ll be paying the full whack.

MissMalice · 04/12/2018 19:41

She wants a reduction and she hasn’t even got a job yet?!

Honestly OP, sometimes family courts can be like the twilight zone with no rhyme or reason for what they decide to order but what you’ve posted here, your OH seems to have a strong case.

Tell him to stick to the facts, do not under any circumstance berate the mother, and stay child focused. Good luck to him.

MissMalice · 04/12/2018 19:42

Once the funded year is up she’ll be paying the full whack.
Once the 2 year funding is up (15 hours) and mum is still working, the child will get 30 hours free so I’m not sure how you’ve worked that out.

VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:43

She wants a reduction and she hasn’t even got a job yet?!

Sounds like he is the one taking it back to court and the mum, knowing she will need to be working in the next few months is setting out her requests now rather than waiting until April and waiting for a date to get back to court and ask for another adjustment.

ems137 · 04/12/2018 19:43

I thought only parents who receive benefits get the 2 year funding? And every term I have to reapply for the funding

VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:43

Sorry miss I’m not in England so I’m not sure of all the funding that exists.

VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:44

But OP also said something about the 30 hours being removed if She earns too much.

PrettyLovely · 04/12/2018 19:45

I dont think it matters about when the child goes to school in regards to changing contact now to suit this, I always think when a child is so little its really unfair on both the child and the parent to have contact reduced to suit school arrangements, they are only little for such a short time a nrp should get the same chance to spend lots of time with the dc as well the rp they grow so fast.

Op I think your partner will be fine especially as she has breached arrangements previously.

MissMalice · 04/12/2018 19:46

30 hours is for parents earning up to £100k.

2 year funding is not removed if the parents circumstances change. You may have to confirm each term that you still want the funding (ie, haven’t removed the child from nursery) but if you get a job, you don’t lose the funding.

VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:48

So OP has that wrong then. Maybe she doesn’t have such a great working knowledge of the system as she thinks.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:50

I haven't got anything wrong regarding childcare funding. What are you referring to?

OP posts:
Mumshappy · 04/12/2018 19:50

If social services are involved have they filed a report with the Court? If so, what is their recommendation? Is there a 'team around the family'?

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:52

The 30 hours can be removed unlike the 2 year funding. You apply for a code in advance if each term to confirm you earn 16 x nmw for you age and not over £100k for each parent (if a couple).

You could earn 1,000,000 and they wouldn't remove the 2 year funding once you qualify for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 19:53

Social services stepped down in May. It's with cafcass now.

I haven't got the report to hand but I'll ask when I've finished doing my kids bedtime.

OP posts:
VictoryOrValhalla · 04/12/2018 19:54

Even if mum earns too much for the 2 uear old funding, once it is offered, it will continue for the full year. It isn't removed (like the 30 hour funding)

You said this OP. Miss said the 30 year funding isn’t removed if the parent earns too much.

Mumshappy · 04/12/2018 19:55

The judge wont make a final order based on childcare entitlement. It will be made on what they believe is in the best interests of the child.

MissMalice · 04/12/2018 19:57

The 2 year funding (15 hours) is not removed.

The 30 hour funding from age 3 is removed if the parent stops meeting the criteria however, all 3 year olds are entitled to 15 hours free funding anyway.

Not sure why we’re down the rabbit hole of funding when the priority is the child’s welfare.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 04/12/2018 20:00

The 2 year old funding is never removed. The 30 hours 3 year old funding can be removed. One of those reasons is a parent earning too much. By too much, this is over £100,000. There are other reasons, like not earning enough. But that doesn't apply to 2 year old funding.

I really wouldn't try and question my knowledge on benefits. I understand it inside out.

OP posts: