Will they ever accept me?

[niteandfog]

My boyfriend and I got together via an affair (were not proud of it) but well what's done is done. His children know how we got together and the DS absolutely hates me his DD seems ok/ambivalent about the whole thing. I've told him at last his DS will never ever accept me and that we can kiss the "blended family" dream good bye... I just would to here any stories where the kids actually ended up accepting the ex AP as an actual step parent.

Waste of time engaging with this OP. She'll have a new, somewhat different thread up next month.

Please don't bring any more children into this mess.

Well the way I see it I actually never asked him to leave her. Not even once. Besides statistically it was never even supposed to happen but he became part of that 7-3% who actually do it so... Besides both his kids actually want to see him but his DS is anxious about it.

How would you possibly know what his DS is feeling?

Children of your own?! Oh, do fuck off with these ridiculous notions. That's the last thing you should be bloody thinking of with this being so new and his relationship with his existing children being so poor.

Your sister is damn right.

I’m with your sister. Your excuses are pathetic. Your relationship is a joke. You sound incredibly selfish. You NEED to take a long hard look at yourself. This is just the latest episode in this drama and feel for all the poor kids involved and his wife

I’m a step mum and wasn’t OW, I was kind and patient to my DSDs and they don’t accept me after years of trying.

So after being the person who came between their Mum and Dad, I seriously doubt they are going to accept you. I don’t think I would tbh. I think the best thing you could do is accept you’ve hurt a family, hurt these kids, and not do anything now to further cause them pain. Which includes expecting a relationship.

OP I really question why you continue to come here for validation.
Every thread has been about you, how you feel and what you want.
I don't think you're going to find the acceptance you're looking for here.

OK, Now I'm just really hoping that this is research for particularly steamy chick lit, with a tortured and ultimately self destructive heroine.

In the last thread the 'step son' had been told OP was a witch and had an anxiety attack at the sight of her in the village.

Ah, OK, maybe its a series, rather than a single book

Arghh I knew that was her Liney, despite the 'oh yes it does sound similar but not me' bollocks!

Liney which is the last thread? I've not seen that one.

I think it's this one. Different username and denial of affair but every other fact is exactly the same as is the posting style.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3208254-When-is-is-the-right-time-to-introdice-new-partner-to-children-and-then-move-in

Yeah, that one. I've done the prefecty correct thing already, btw, because there's a bit fat lie in here somewhere that's just wasting people's time.

Why are you even contemplating having children in this situation? If I remember rightly, you don’t exactly relish motherhood as it is.

Haha this is possibly the most selfish, self absorbed thread I've ever read.

Son was 12 when ex left due to an affair. After 8 weeks son decided to see dad again after refusing to see him.

Dad stupidly and selfishly decided that 8 weeks later was a perfect time for our son to go abroad and meet (and stay with) the women he had an affair with (over my dead body).

I never slagged off either ex or OW.. and would have been okay with the relationship progressing (between son and OW) if only ex had done it slowly and in a bloody time frame that was good for son .. and didn't try and force what was only good for ex.

Fast forward almost 4 years .. and son hasn't seen or spoken to his dad for (I can't even remember now) .. something like three years. He wasn't nothing to do with him and has changed his surname.

He never did meet the OW...

Having read your previous threads I’m at a loss as to whether this is all complete fantasy, or whether it’s partly true and you’re just shifting the facts to put yourself/your relationship in a better light?

According to your posts you were ready to leave your ExH in Nov at which point you were having an emotional affair (by your own admission) after having texted/sexted back and forward for months. You’d intended it just to be a bit of fun with the husband of an friend but it felt like more. You didn’t leave your exH til the end of Jan. Your, now, partner told you he had left his wife but was still living with her at end Jan, at which point you were sleeping with him but she didn’t know (but she suspected something was going on). Not sure when he moved out but after you. You kept it all a secret but his ex and her family found out 7 weeks ago (start March, ie 1 month after you’d moved out and less than a month after he moved out). Three months after you moving out of your marital home your daughter is thrilled with your newfound happiness and boyfriend and wants to spend time with him. Your exH already has had women stay over who have been introduced to your daughter too. She’s fine with this too

Your partner’s son isn’t taking it well and you have written off any chance of that ever working out (less than 3 months after your partner left home and was going to relate). Your partner’s daughter is indifferent. You must both be married still surely? And yet you’re both discussing moving in and having a child together. And you find the idea that maybe he should leave you and concentrate on his son incredible.

If any of this is happening anywhere other than your head then have a read through and see how ridiculous it sounds. I suspect it’s fantasy though. I look forward to the next installment which I suspect will involve a surprise pregnancy and the ex wife doing something outrageous.

Your a dick

Well op, my father is with my mother's former best friend. Put it this way, she isn't invited to my wedding.

Well he met my DD properly tonight, she really liked him! She invited him over for dinner. Before she went to sleep she said, he's very nice I can see why you like him.

If you hadn't had an affair I would say you had a chance but as you did, this is the fallout. Deal with it. You sound very selfish and unrealistic about what the children 'should know.' The truth is you and their father have torn their lives apart.

I found it hard enough accepting my step mum and her role in my life and she appeared years after my mum and dad split. If an affair had been part of it I don't think I would ever have got there.

I just think there must be a way to undo the damage or at least some of it. I know his DS struggled with the whole idea if his parents separation but the cheating added a whole new level to it. I do feel bad for it but there must be a way of healing their little hearts and souls beyond us breaking up.

Well then I’m sure the fact that he gets on so well with someone else’s child will be massive help to his son won’t it? He moved out 2-3 months ago, of course his son is struggling, it’s more surprising that your daughter has no qualms about both of her parents having new ‘friends’ within such a short time frame. You are a fantasist.