What's your opinion on maintenance?

[Mamamc123]

Nothing wrong here and not asking for advice as such, just a difference in opinion during a discussion tonight and I wondered what everyone else's views are on how maintenance money is used and what it's expected to cover?
My friend and I are both mothers to our own bio kids and I am also SM to my DPs kids.
Friend was moaning how her ExH doesn't contribute enough financially to her daughter's expenses - he pays well above what the CSA calculator suggests and his daughter wants for nothing whilst she's with him.
She expects him on top of that to buy half of the children's clothes, school uniforms, shoes, activities/ clubs, extra childcare etc - which is exactly what my DP does for my DSDs.
However I think it's unreasonable to expect this much when a regular and fair amount of maintence is being paid and custody is split.
My ExH pays maintence for our children but in my opinion it is for all of those things and I don't expect him to "top-up" anywhere else. I don't think it's fair for a father to be paying for the mother to look after her own children when they are with her if that makes sense? I don't pay my ExH for the kids food etc when they are there.
If something like an expensive school trip or one off big expense then I think it's fair to go 50/50 on that, but in general if you're receiving 100s in maintence every month then you shouldn't always expect more.
Ps: I'm not talking about men who shirk their responsibilities or don't pay - I mean honest good dad's who pay their fair percentage of income and see their kids regularly.
What do you all think?

i get £380 a month for 2 children and he sees them for a couple of hours every 6 weeks at his request, he doesnt realise this is the minimum he should be paying and tried to lower what he pays due to knowing i'm getting married this year. School uniform this year will be £250 per child! they have phone contracts, after school clubs, clothes, school buses, £3 a day dinner money. it doesnt come close.

£380 per month for two children sounds pretty good, unless he’s Richard Branson? And whilst I’m sure it doesn’t cover all the costs, remember that it’s not supposed to …… BOTH parents should contribute, it’s not all down to the father.

My DP has DSD 3-4 nights a week. He earns less than his ex, but his DSD costs us more money. Due to the system, it means DSD has a much lower standard of living when she is at ours.

I do believe both parents are financially responsible, but it always works one way I feel. If his ex earned less, then everyone would be jumping on saying he should pay more blah blah but it doesn't work the other way around

Two dots - he contributes a percentage of his salary for his kids, regardless of his EXs income that is no different if he earned more than her.

She is not responsible for maintaining her standard of living and she is not for his. They have chosen to be separate and hence will be different.

your suggestion that he should pay less because she has more, is offensive to his children - he is responsible for his share that he can afford.

That's not what I meant. Will explain more when I have the time