"Daddy doesn't give Mummy enough money"

[AnneLovesGilbert]

How does anyone else deal with this?

DH pays child maintenance, spousal support and maximum childcare vouchers, which comes to around £900 a month for two DC. We have them every weekend and a night a week, pay for all clothes, shoes, coats, toys, books, gadgets etc for here, birthday presents for friend's parties, and obviously birthday presents and parties, Christmas presents.

They're his children and he's happy to pay every penny of it. But getting crap about it seems unfair. We both work ft, she works pt, hence the spousal support. She got the bulk of the value of the house when they sold it so has a bigger house and a much smaller mortgage (he knows this from the settlement where it was all out in the open).

The issue seems to arise when the DSC ask her for something and she says "Daddy doesn't give me enough money, I can't afford it"

He replies, "Daddy gives Mummy plenty of money and it's fine if she doesn't want to buy you xxxx, but you need to discuss it with her".

What else would you say? Or is best to just not engage?

Thanks Mirandawest, I have no idea where someone got that figure from, if only! The spousal support is over £300 a month and was to compensate her for working part time. The childcare vouchers cover a chunk of after school club for the days she is working.

Interesting to hear this from both sides. Like I said, he doesn't begrudge her any of the money he pays, children cost money. But it's helpful that people agree that not engaging further with the accusations of DH's meanness is the way to continue. Hopefully in time they'll stop taking her comments at face value but they're only little and obviously get upset by her telling them their Dad doesn't give her enough money.

It's hard to see where it comes from too, as they're hardly living the high life with us! They have everything they need but we can't afford to take them on holiday abroad like she can, our home is lovely but not as big or with as many new things as hers, she has a new car, we have an old banger, we have trips to cheap B&Bs at the seaside, free museums and and movie days while she does the more expensive things with them.

Relations are relatively amicable, contact is usually pretty brief and only about the DC, but this issue crops up off and on and it's annoying. Not sure DH raising it with her would be very productive as he knows from what the words/phrases they've used it's definitely from her. But hey ho, things could be worse.