Join me for a second glass of virtual prosecco

[WhoGivesAFlying]

Thought I'd start a new thread as the other is now full. Come and share you SPing problems here, it's a safe place and hopefully some other wise SM can offer advice or just a large drink!

Another princess

Underage girls online? is your DH OK with this? He's surely one shared photo away from police interest?

Tantrums?
Wow.
Princess, YADNBU. How do you stand it?

luckily she is in USA so the hopes of them meeting is very very remote. He doesn't live with us (hence the two weeks visit) so we try and stop it when he comes but then he just threatens not t come and DH crumbles and says ok but makes it difficult for him to do so. Cause of the time difference he was having to talk through the night so we said "not in our house" so he just sat in his car and did it on his mobile. His mum doesn't approve but lets him do what he wants cause he is "special" in her eyes. I have voiced my opinion that if he is caught then I wont lie and will tell everything . I did hear that she "broke up " with him the other day as she said she was wasting the best time of her life talking to him and not dating. This is why he wants to go to the strip club to "get over his grief". Its going to be a long long two weeks

Princess
He sounds like a nightmare!!!
So scary that all these indulged spoilt children we read about on here may grow up to be just like your DSS.
It's still grooming - even if they've never met.
I don't get why your DH and his ex are so accepting. I would be horrified if anyone in my family was carrying on like this!!
You can have my share of you will need it !!!

I'm sick of saying it .I've pointed out that if caught or it kicks off it will considered grooming . DH say "what can I do? He doesn't live here and if I ban him he wont come and visit" Mum says the same but he will move out. He is totally spoilt. Then again DH and his mum are to blame. He has no boundaries. If they say no he throws a tantrum and then they give in or he will do something he is supposed to do like go to work and they reward him like a small child. he was due to come today for the start of his visit but decided that he was driving through the nigh so would arrive with us at 3am. When my DH pointed out we would be asleep and had work today he dismissed this and said so what. DH said he wasn't getting up to let him in so he wanted us to leave a key in the garden so he could let himself in so he could set him computer up for when he got up. DH said no and told him he could arrive at 5am no earlier. If he arrived earlier he had to wait outside in his car. he arrived at 5am and made so much noise that it woke me. we are shattered today and when I left he was sound asleep. My son goes mad as he says he wouldn't get away with it and he is right. My son has boundaries and discipline and im proud to saw is thriving. my DSS struggles to get a job and when he does hold onto it and thinks the world owes him big time and it revolves around him . Any got a spare bed for two weeks lol

At least it's just 2 weeks and not permanent.
What a terrible example of the result of Disney parenting

Well, dsc have just turned up and yet again one of them is sick...

Well, I didn't want to drink tonight but I'm on my second rum. My DH is such a confrontational twat when the kids are here. And all because I didn't think said sick child should be charging around playing football in the house with him. He jumped to her defend (daddy's and daughters ) and has said...."well, you said you weren't well last night, and your ok now". Hinestly, I'm seriously re considering this "marriage". He pulls me up on absolute everything, and if I try to get my side across he walks out the room. I followed him just now to finish what I was saying and he got quite animated and up in my face. Told me to go out tonight (got to where to go). These weekend are so lonely, he has his "gang" and that includes my son as my son just wants to play with the kids so it's just me in my room.....but not tonight....I refuse to be pushed out again.

Hi Long time lurker here, who finally had enough of the ignore "Everytime" game my two step children play every other weekend. Got fed up of being expected to be housemaid to them, without a word of thanks and had a right strop!! Pleased to say my husband did back me up. Time will tell if anything improve.

Still non contact weekend here so going to relax and enjoy some quality time with my sister and daughter tomorrow.

Hello everytime...here, have this . It's good your DH backs you up, and if I were you I'd stop being housemaid....I did, my DH soon realised how much extra work it is.

On another note, DH apologised, I think because I didn't let it get to me he realised he was wrong (you'ed tjinknitbwould be the other way round), anyway, the evening turned out OK in the end.....

Everytime welcome! I agree about the ignoring, it's just so rude from one human being to another - whether step child to step mum - it's still impossible to live with weekend in and beyond. Great that your DH backed you up, very good start!

Whogives glad evening turned out OK in the end!

P.s. whogives I re read your post and that is very tough on you, the excluding. Your DP needs to cop himself on.

Everytime, I know it's early but have a glass anyway . I agree, the ignoring is awful. So ignorant. So powerful. Makes you feel like you don't exist but then, that's what the idea is I think. Like a dog, if they don't look at you, your're actually not there!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Umm, do we need to ask MNHQ for a fluted glass of Prosecco emoticon?

I think we may have a turning point in our house. On Thursday I got out of the shower to hear my husband reading my 18 year old Dsd the riot act for acting so irresponsibly and quitting another job (before she got fired for being off 'sick' the last 4 weeks). He told her he's not going to have an 18 year old DD sitting around the house doing nothing, and refusing to help out, and she better have a job in the next couple of weeks or she can find somewhere else to live! Finally some tough love from a Disney dad!
This morning we found an envelop slipped threw our door with her name on it and clearly there was some money in it. We think it's from our neighbour, who is inappropriate and wants to be everyone's friend but is basically harmless. I imagine she's told him some sob story and hinted for money. She hasn't worked in a month as she's been pretending to be sick while going out with her friends most nights. So she hasn't had any money for over a month. We refuse to give her any as she still hasn't paid us back for bailing her out with some bills. She makes fun of this neighbour all the time but uses him for lifts and now obviously for money. It makes me so sad that she's become this kind of person.

If that were me I'd be giving the money back and explaining that it's not appropriate for them to be doing that (however well intentioned it was).

I'm still genuinely having more problems with my in laws. Still no importance in anyone's life

whigives I said that to my DH but he felt I was being ridiculous. He often acts like I'm overreacting when he knows he should step in but doesn't want to. Did I mention he's a Disney dad! He said he'd say something to our neighbour when he next sees him and tell him not to give dsd money.

DH drove dsd to a party last night and didn't say anything to her. He said he doesn't want to fight with her again so soon. He also felt talking to her about it will have no impact on her. I told him I'd like to think she'd feel shame about her behaviour. She's not a bad person but she still needs guidance and stirring. I doubt he'll talk to her so I will. Another example of Disney parenting.

All has gone smoothly this weekend, but I am becoming increasingly annoyed by DSS' mum's insistence on sending him here in tatty worn-out clothes as some kind of passive aggressive action. I used to defend her because I don't believe children should necessarily be dressed up like dolls, but she really is taking the piss now.

DSS turned up on Friday in tracksuit bottoms with stains and holes in both knees and school plimsoles that were a size too small. Once again he has apparently lost his new pair, and has bruises on his feet from where his shoes have rubbed.

In the past DP would replace everything with new things, but seeing as she's never sent anything back, and we've just replenished his wardrobe, I've discussed with DP that we just send him back in whatever he's arrived in. His small PE shoes are now in the bin, and he's going home in some supermarket trainers. It really is beyond me why she cannot take care of her own child's basic needs. I would never be this petty with my own kids.

bat we went through that, not necessarily tatty but definitely too small to the extent were they just looked ridiculous. DH didn't see it at first but then after a while even he couldnt understand why they turned up with clothes ridiculously small and shoes that didn't fit, they also used to get sent with clothes not suitable for the weather. He'd always aks her if she needed more money for clothes, she would always refuse, we'd buy new clothes but we'd never see them again. As they got older and more fashion conscious this stopped. If by DH and I ever split up ( which isn't an impossibility) i'd never want my son to that like the poor relation.

Thinking about it, I'd never do this whole packing up clothes and then going to back-and-forth bollocks. I will send my son in one set and he would come back In another set which I would send him again in on the following visit.....less washing for me

I discovered a trick this weekend.
DSD turns up in flip flops - no coat and flimsy beach type outfits.
Yesterday it poured down so DP had to buy her trainers and a jacket - DSS then moaned and got the equivalent amount of money for a himself.
I asked DSD why she doesn't bring shoes / coat whatever and she says "I prefer the clothes daddy buys me and this way DSS gets money too!"
Job done!!!!

How old is your dad, if my dad did that and admired to it she'd be borrowing my stuff and getting nothing. My dad is 9 but can fit my things (if a little big)

We constantly have the inappropriate/too small clothes.

I am fed up of replacing underwear, as the children realise that the undies fit at ours and so wear ours home so they have some that are comfortable.

The children arrive in clothes from their mums and go home in the same. Its horrible having to get them to change just before they go, but if we don't we never see the clothes we buy again!

Clothes seem to be a big issue with step kids. My dsd came to ours this week with her school shoes on she's finished school and they are ready for the bin. No idea why her mum sent her in them. But she has been dropped off and swapped back into them as every time we put shoes on her they never come back!

She's 12
Nothing of mine would have fitted and we were out when it tipped down.
I'd have made her stay in flip flops but DP fell for it hook line and sinker the mug!!!