what would you say........

[WSM123]

I saw this on another forum and it was brilliant, so I decided to blatantly steal it. Some was hilarious, some was brutal but all a great vent no judgement
What would you love to say to your step kids but cant in real life??
I would say to SS7, when you get caught out in a lie, laughing and saying I was joking doesn't make it cute, its still a lie.

Refusing to call our DDs and DSDs 'sluts'. I know. Crazy mung bean munching macrame nuts, the lot of us

No one is saying anything to any girls of any age. I hope the bandwagon you all kept on crashes

So what was your point with;

And what's to say the imaginary slut is a little girl?

So what's to say its not a teenager?

???

Yeah, you're totally here with honourable intentions, OP.

Your last few, insulting posts prove that

Quite often threads appear on MN called 'if you can't say it in real life, say it here' or similar. In those, people say stuff they'd like to say to their MIL, friend, neighbour or whatever. If someone on one of those threads mentioned wanting to tell their stepchild to share their stuff and be less mean to their siblings or whatever, I doubt the poster would get this much abuse.
But because the OP started it specifically for step parents to get things off their chests that they wouldn't actually say in real life, it's all turned very unpleasant and people are queuing up to stick the boot in. Mind you, that 'slut' thing is plain nasty.

You can't reason with the unreasonable so I'm off to do more important things that try to explain to a bunch of fools that no one is actually saying anything to anyone. No feelings are being hurt, no children are being mistreated etc etc bye have a nice bitch about me when I'm not looking

Why don't you take your child-bashing, slut-shaming mission over to the main boards or the feminist boards to gather a wider range of opinions OP?

I'd head back to that other forum, if I were you OP.

See what they think about your 'slut' comment, eh?

Ps thanks yak for getting it and yes the slut thing wasnt pleasant but was provoked and in way shape or form actually thought or said

Wow. For the last time. No one has called anyone a slut (as far as I know) it was an (extreme) example of what someone MIGHT want to say on a thread that promised NO judgement without the fear of being judged. Clearly it was provocative and was intended to provoke thinking about judgment with out knowing the full story. Unfortunately all it did was get people up in arms about an imaginary girl being called a slut, and no matter how many times I tried to say she didnt exist, wasnt called a slut etc you all just held on to your preconceived opinion of the "brutal" SM
Thank goodness I know I'm not an evil person, my friends know I'm not an evil person my DP knows I'm not an evil person and the SS's know I'm not an evil person.

I think you can't be reading or comprehending the posts you're getting because not one person thinks you're referring to a real person. People are bothered by the fact that you thought it up as something that someone might think at all and by the fact that you defend a step parent's right to say something as extreme as that in the name of venting, that in an ideal world they'd be able to say even that on a "safe" thread and not be judged and this is preferable to the alternative of her exploding in real life. How can you not be getting that? Despite repeated explanations.

And you're still saying it despite all the posts explaining why it's so offensive. You still seem to be saying it would be OK to say this thing if the safe non judging space.

Being offended doesn't automatically give you the right to judge

I think you're banging your head against a (rather thick) brick wall TBH Nicki

Being offended doesn't automatically give you the right to judge

Being an intelligent, sentient being making a judgement about what is beyond the pale, is what will lead people to 'judge' nasty posts about children.

I suppose I should have realised that from the start gooseberry. Anyone who thought this was a great idea for a thread was always going to be massively obtuse.

FFS you two are stupid. I give up carry on with being judgmental. And I will carry on being a nice person who understands a persons right to say what they feel on an anonymous forum without judging them even if offended by what they say I will not judge them for it (I might express concern and recommend they get help but NOT judge them) if that makes me a bad step parent so be it. Have a nice day

Byeeeee!

Don't lose any more sleep over me :-)

I think you are a little slut who flirts with her father for attention.

Fucking hell. I think you have stepsons, not stepdaughters, right WSM ?

Thank Christ for that. If I was thawing a bit towards your topic and trying to see a lighthearted side, you just firmly hammered the nail back into your own coffin there. Jeez, what a despicable thing to say or think, even if your were speaking hypothetically.

That whole Little Wife Syndrome' dreamt up by bitter jealous women who see their partner's child as a miniature OW and as competition says far, far more about those women than it does about their stepchildren, however needy and manipulative they may be. And it shows just how little understanding they have of what that child might be going through emotionally.

Cantwait no, I doubt your boys will ever resent you for giving them less to make way for your DSD, or even notice that they have 'less' whatever that means? They will have the security of knowing they have both of you there to come home to each day (assuming you can manage to stop screaming at one another in front of them) and they will be blissfully unaware of whatever more you perceive you could have given them had you not had to 'make way' for her. I am not sure whether you mean financially or emotionally, by that phrase, but either way please don't ever forget that you are not the one who has had to 'make way' for anyone.

That child was already there when you chose to hook up with her father and have children with him yourself. Stop speaking as though you are doing her a massive fucking Favour. If anyone is having to make way here it's her.

Sometimes it's the little tiny things that give people away, isn't it?

Sorry just wanted to make clear that I know WSM* was using that slut phrase as an extreme example camp,e if what a stepmother might say but I am still alarmed that she could ever try to justify it.

Catch. It was entirely hypothetical to point out that people shouldn't be judged even if they say extreme things like that. They may very well need help but they don't need judgment.
Imagine your best friend came to you and said they wanted to tell you something but were scared they would be judged, and you promised not to judge them. They tell you and it offends you. Would you judge them or offer them help?
That's the point I was trying to make with that OTT scenario. It's not our place to judge it's our ace to offer help/ solutions etc.

Christ. Just caught up with the rest of the thread since the slut post.

I'm loving the idea that we can express some seriously unpleasant and twisted opinions and thoughts so long as we preface them with 'no judgement please'.

There's a whole world of fun to be had with that.

Actually I disagree. Sometimes it really IS our place to judge. Especially where children are concerned.