let's have a thread for fortnightly contact

[Marilynsbigsister]

Thought it might be fun to start a thread for fortnightly contact visits... Step parenting is our safe place - right ? If that is true, can I just be really really honest with you and say, I am sitting here with 2 of my dd's . Ds and two dsc who live with us are all out doing what teenagers do on a Friday... And I am clock watching and feeling the familiar dread as the clock reaches 7:15 pm and my dh comes back through the door with the other dsc (early teens) ..who are treated (and behave) like 3 yr olds. Every fortnight has the familiar feeling of dread as I know the next 48 hrs will be filled with tantrums, fighting, pinching, attention seeking and ridiculously infantile behaviour... Ten years on...no change, absolutely no change..except now I plan to be out most of the weekends to avoid them. No longer feel the need to 'make it one happy family' ... Even their own siblings find it unbearable. The other 12 days a fortnight I have a fabulous family life, lovely dh, fantastic, engaging, intelligent, self sufficient dcs/dsc . When will the others grow up ? Currently 13, 14 &16 !!!

[NZmonkey]

Oh cantwait that's awful. You need to speak to someone as FannyF suggests he can't be using physical violence against DSD or you. In NZ even one smack on a child's bottom is now illegal. You really need to protect yourself and your younger boys as well as DSD before it moves to them as well.

[SevenSeconds]

CantWait

Are you ok? Would you like to start a thread in Relationships to talk about your DP?

[WhoGivesAFlying]

cantwait you needs call womans aid, this can't go on.

[nephrofox]

Can't wait yes you need to speak to her mum. Do you think he was abusive to her too?

Be strong, you can do this

[WhoGivesAFlying]

Yes, absolutely tell the mum....I would
Want to know if I were her

[neonrainbow]

Can'twait good luck ... None of you should have to put up with this. That poor poor little girl.

[NZmonkey]

Cantwait it sounds like you are planing to do all the right things. Definitely post in relationships it always seems very supportive over there with great advice. Stay strong and I wish you all the best

[WhoGivesAFlying]

Just found the "hide this thread" button, why can't we have a "hide this poster" button.

DH and I are having a really nice evening, talking lots and really getting things sorted with us,

[NZmonkey]

Whogives great to hear you and DP are having a nice evening and getting things sorted

[lunar1]

Can'twait, I really hope that you get away form your husband. He does nothing but drag you down. I know it's a horrible thing to say but the best thing to happen would be that he doesn't bother with any of his children.

It's easier to raise three children alone than three children plus a man who treats you like this.

I know you get a hard time but people see your posts in isolation and not the full story. They wouldn't post the same things (myself included) if they knew the whole picture.

[Chloecoconut]

My dsd (we're not married but makes no difference to me), isn't now coming in 2 weeks time as it's Mother's Day. My oh had texted her mum and asked to swop for Father's Day weekend but that's a no, possibly a bit of time over that weekend but no swop. She's offered next weekend instead but we already have plans - just waiting for the rant about him not putting his daughter first because we won't drop everything at short notice for his ex messing people around ....

[Heavens2Betsy]

How are things now Can't?
I'm busy making the beds for another kid weekend. Hoping all goes smoothly.
They go home early on Mother's Day so I'm hoping I can have a lazy relaxing day with my DC and my mum then feel guilty for feeling like that! It's not that I'm pleased they are going early but it will be nice to have my own dc to myself for a day!

[Rainbow00]

Well it's that time again, my dsc are with us for the weekend and I'm on pick up duty from school. I'm dreading it and wishing the weekend away already which is rubbish considering it's a three day weekend !! In need of a virtual hug please

[Busybuzzybumblebee]

You can have a virtual hug from me, got the dread for tomorrow too. Dsd is no problem my dss is rude and unpleasant from the moment he arrives. It's dps birthday on Saturday, they never but him a card or present so at Xmas got I'm a present from dsc and our ds, dss was furious how dare I assume that he would want to give dp that, and on and on it went. So got dp a present from dsc for Saturday and I can guarantee I will be a bitch for not including him on it. So sick of it

[Busybuzzybumblebee]

Arg present from ds, not dsc

[Heavens2Betsy]

Have a glass on me!
DSD is hormonal and tearful and DSS is hell bent on winding her up.
She's already been in tears twice and DP is at his wits end and my own dc have retreated to their bedrooms!!!
They are here till Monday night

[Nursed123]

I'm reawakening the thread!

Feel quite relieved to read these posts and realise I'm not alone

The dread will start for me next Friday ...... andfor you all

[lorien99]

I would kill for EOW!! EFW in my case ... I'm sure you can guess what the 'F' stands for 😩

[Marilynsbigsister]

EFW? That's awful for you. (And a bit weird for dsc) doesn't their dm want some downtime with them ? I would we very hacked off.

[mrswoody100]

Friday is on the horizon and my sdd (11 & 14) will be descending on me! It's becoming unbearable they moved into my family home, I have 2 ds with ex and one dd with dh, but his dd are horrid, I've had to tell them to clean their bogies off their bedroom walls and the 14 year old leaves used sanitary towels in her drawer when she leaves

[user1479044055]

I'm going to tag on this thread - it's my partner's weekend this week and I am at work. I've not long since met his kids but they seem lovely. On Friday night I stayed over and so did the kids and we had a lovely evening. I was up before dawn on saturday morning as I was working 7-7 and had planned on staying at my own place - I ended up going rounds as his kids were asking about me and actually wanted me there. I was really touched :) We had an evening doing homework, painting pet rocks and watching kitten videos on youtube. I had a thoroughly lovely evening and didn't want to leave for work this morning...

Although I'm getting a good feeling how this is going I am meeting his ex tomorrow for lunch so we can have a chat and put any worries away that either of us have. Hopefully it will be amicable - everything has gone so smoothly so far that I will be gutted if it doesn't :(

[gingina]

Good luck tomorrow User.
Glad all is going well with the dsc
I too had to work this morning
Got home to find DP and DSC all in their pjs watching films surrounded by dirty cups, breakfast plates and mess.
I had a moan about the fact that there wasn't a clean cup for me to make a cup of tea and spent the rest of the day being given filthy looks.
I am the official wicked stepmother today and I don't give a shit!!!

[SteppingOnToes]

I have a name now :) lunch went well and she only left when she had to pick the kids up at 3. Really nice lady and obviously a doting mother. We had a nice natter about the kids, life in general and no man bashing. Found out exactly where the kids are playing their dad which should make things so much easier ;)

Gingina - sorry you got home to a mess :( I used to get that with my ex who didn't have kids grrr