Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

Melon ! sorry it's only virtual

Ugh can I join to moan?

We have dsd who is 16 live with us and see her mum EOW. Except yesterday she argued with her mum so she came back home. :(. So our lovely peaceful weekend alone is now full of messy teens again. :(. I woke up this morning and burst into tears. It's so hard when you feel you've got some grown up time to look forward to and then it's cruelly snatched away!!

LittleSnaily here you go! I know exactly how you feel, I am delighted to have DSD when it's expected, but (just as with my Mum, siblings etc visiting) it's very different thinking you have time to yourself and then plans changing at last min! Sounds hard for all

May I join in, its evening here at least. DP and his ex have just agreed for us to have DSD aged 4 one night a week on top of our every other weekend. Trial basis for now to see how it goes. I'm both excited to get to see more of her and very nervous that it works OK.

NCd
Thankgod for MN and a safe place to rant.

DSC are here for a few more days. (We live overseas) DP is disney dad. I am the enemy because I don't ask them to empty the dishwasher in the "right way" They have taken over the house, eating everything in sight, do nothing to help, leave crap everwhere. I had to take DSD to A&E because she had a bad sore throat (According to DP & DSD she couldn't breathe or swallow water.) Dr prescribed paracetamol, which we had already given her, but she said was too difficult to swallow.

DP has just been having a go at me, when i dare to bring up their behaviour. drained by it all.

I was going to organise a party for his birthday, but really tempted to not bother and cancel it all & have a rest.

Late to this thread but a long time SM and can honestly say I've had enough! Had enough of the defensiveness of DH if God forbid I should ask one of the kids to give a small helping hand. Sick of our ds getting the leftovers. DH has taken the dsc away but not our ds (he's only a toddler but that's not the point in my eyes). Sick of eow feeling like the loneliest person in the world in a house full of people

Hi everyone! Definitely needing a large one today- all round

NZ hope the new arrangement works out- glad you're excited, bet she is too!
Harvey it sounds like it's been shit for you- I would be seriously reconsidering the party, not in a spiteful way but simply in that you don't need the extra stress!
EatSleep I know how the loneliness can feel- blended family dynamics are so complicated!

I am feeling very low today- had a very stressful weekend with DSD, who was well behaved but very needy, culminating in me having a difficult conversation with X (DSDs Mum) - don't feel well rested coming back to work! Plus DH has the week off to look after DSD and I feel guilty for not being there too, but would have been impossible due to colleagues' annual leave Supposed to be back on healthy eating but desperate for sugar

Harvey, that sounds hellishly rough on you! How old are your SC...and why was it your job to take DSD to A&E?

Melon - I'd feel like strangling DP! Sounds like you are taken for granted. Why don't you just stir things up for some light relief - offer to help organise the 50th birthday - so make them awkward if they haven't meant to invite you - if you like the sister go and have a great time, but if not make an excuse and go to a spa or something. Then dress up nice and go out one evening without DP saying you met a friend during the day while he was out fishing/whatever - or go mad a join a surfing group and forget about everyone for a while!!
NZ I'm sure it will all be fine, if you've been doin eow for a while.
Harvey - maybe book in some good 'me' time on DSC days, get out of all the mess and let him clear it up, he should be the one taking DSD to A&E? And if not, you are being the parent so yes of course any other 'parent issues' are your concern, including feeling hacked off. DP can't have it both ways.
Eat - I too feel for you feeling lonely - it's so weird I never thought it would happen, it just creeps up on you.
Happy - thank you for the drinks! At least some things sound positive, that you can actually talk to X, that DSD has a dad who takes his care of her seriously by not just passing care on to you for a week.

Make mine a double.

dss is in a vile mood now. His DM gave him some money to buy a thing (this is a thing he has four of at our house, he never used them, has variously asked for them over the years and been given them, but I have never seen him use one. I believe he may also have one at his dm's house. Apparently all the ones he has are sub standard in some way suddenly. And he needs a new version of the thing.) His mother has given him money to buy the thing and we have been treated to him getting sulkier and sulkier every day because we are refusing to run around on our holiday to indulge his stupid idea about buying this thing. He says he knows where he can get it at home but his mum "sent him here to get this thing".

Fucking great. She fecks off to Greece and I am left with her son moping about because she told him he had to buy this thing this week and I have told him it is my holiday and I am not trailing round every fecking seaside town in the South West to buy something he doesn't need and actually already has.

He has gone to his room in a grump (after refusing to eat his dinner).

I am millimetres away from just telling dp to drop me at a train station tomorrow and going home. Of course that would leave dp unable to get dss home as dp has to fly to the US Sunday and I was going to drop dp at Heathrow and drive back the rest of the way with dsd, but presumably dss mother can fucking STEP UP for once!

In other news, it turns out it is dpsis birthday while we are here, so we have spent a quantity of time looking for a gift for her, and now he has worked out it is his niece's birthday in two weeks so he wants to get her something while we are here too. And today we were due to take dp mum out for the day but she was looking after 3yo nephew so we took an eighty yo and a three yo out for the day. I just LOVE trailing round all day after other people's kids. Not. Oh, and opening hours waiting for them to be ready, find the suncream, pack a bag, wait for the mum to get home etc etc.

I was very specific when we booked this that I wanted to make sure we didn't spend all our time with them, and so far we have.

They all think I am grumpy but not a single one of the bastards wonders why!

Oh, I can't and won't help with her party, we're five hours drive from them. dp isn't invited, it's a girls only thing.

I just think it's incredibly crass of her to do it, to mention it in front of me. I might actually tell her that, maybe she will learn to be a bit more thoughtful.

I can't go off anywhere, we are in the middle of nowhere with only the one car. Literally about three miles to a village.

Here Melon have three! Sound like you need it

Phew Melon, you are one unhappy bunny...here have some to go with your wine!!

(nc due to hackergate)

Well, I got the train home.

I told him last night I was fed up and that I had tried to talk to him about this a few times before the holiday and he had shut me down (he did - I said "I'm not sure I want to go on holiday, you and dss would probably have a better time without me", he said "why would you say that, don't be stupid" and I said "well, it's not as if we've been getting on that well lately is it" and he said "I think we're getting on fine" - so, dismissed as far as I can see) which he denies.

So, I said I was right, they would have had a better time if I wasn't there and he said I was right, so I said drop me at the station tomorrow and he said fine. Then he didn't. I got my stuff together, he collected all his nieces and nephews and we went off to go for breakfast (I wasn't told we were going out to breakfast so I had already had breakfast - it is this stuff I mainly object to, being constantly told what to do, not told what it going on, not consulted on what we will do for the day, having stuff dumped on me, yesterday he decided we would go to x for lunch - a place that sells only stuff like pasties/pies/pastry goods/pizza. I don't like that sort of food, which he knows. If he said something like "let's just have x for lunch today, we can have something nice tonight" then it wouldn't be so bad, but it is the "we're going to x", no discussion, I can't object as his mother is with us going "ooh, oh, how lovely, ooh yes, that would be nice" so we go in and he barks at me "choose something" and I say "stop talking to me like I'm a five year old" and he just looks at me and says slowly "choose.....something....to....eat...." and I want to kill him).

Anyway, I reminded him he was supposed to be taking me to the station and he said he didn't know and that "you have to c o m m u n i c a t e you know". But at least he did. At first he wasn't going to.

Took me c7 hours to get home. But it's really nice not to be being bossed about, doing things other people want, being with a 14yo who just argues with everything and refuses to do anything. Good luck to the pair of them.

I don't suppose we can survive this.

Oh dear, I'm so sorry things have gone so badly wrong for you! The thing is the both of you are seeing two sides of one story, and it appears he can only see his side of things......but I see, and truly understand where you're coming from! If things do fall apart after this, I really hope you'll be OK!

oh melon (outtogetyou) it sounds like you have had a terrible time. I hope you manage to enjoy some time to yourself at home before they get back from holiday.

He texted about 6.30pm but I didn't see it until about 10.30pm as I had turned the phone off cos following all the threads re hackergate while on the train had run the battery down and I wanted to make sure I had some left in case I got stranded at the station (it cost me over £100 to get home btw!).

He wants to know what is happening Saturday. Well, he should really have thought about that yesterday and discussed things properly with me, shouldn't he? He'll now be worried he can't get dss home (well, home to our house) so he needs me for that. And dss needs to be supervised on Monday as he prepares to go to camp (but due to the Tube strike on Tue I will now need to be in work on Monday, and I don't think I should have to adjust my work plans due to dss care). Which just epitomises how he takes me for granted and doesn't consider my needs, only his own.

outtogetyou is he not coming home with your DSS or is he supposed to be working Monday? hopefully he sorts the arrangements out.

we have just heard from DSDs mum that she is working every Saturday now so on her weekends if we want to have DSD we can, if not she will sort something else. Very scary going from Every other weekend to Wednesday nights as well as to possibly most Saturdays too. Scary and exciting cos I really enjoy having her stay.

Grrrrrr. Dsd is being very difficult. Last night she was supposed to be seeing her mum for the evening so I had prepared a nice dinner, tidied up etc. Dh then spent the entire evening on the phone to dsd's mum sorting out an argument between them!

I had a bath and went to bed. I've said I'm seeing a friend this evening as I can't bear another evening of dsd arguing. :(

And Melon: :(. Glad you are home bs conflict-free (for now). It's crap!

He flies to the US Sunday for work, from H'row. Back Fri.
The plan was for us to drive back from the SW to London Sat am, park at H'row, get the Tube in, have lunch, see a show, stay over, then Sun get Tube back to H'row, drop dp at terminal and me and dss drive home.
I am working all week. dss going on scout camp Mon, but he can't be trusted to get his stuff together and get to the meet up place on his own. dp not made any plan for that as far as I can tell, presumably just assumed I am here - I could have worked from home Monday, but actually I now can't due to Tube strike Tue, so need to go in Monday if I'm not going to make it in Tue.

I also have to be in Thu and Fri so it looks like I'm going to have to find somewhere to stay over as I can't risk not making it.
Which is fine if dss goes to camp, but something in me thinks he won't go......he's been a total pita about getting prepared for it over the last two weeks, refusing to do training walks etc.

And where is the DM in this you may well ask......

Oh melon, I'm sorry to hear it's not turned out well. (I'm EatSleepRepeat btw, hacker gate nc). I guess they (mum & dad) will have to sort their own son out.

Hi everyone, n/c happy here.

Melon, sending buckets of wine and for you- it sounds shit. I really hope your DP pulls his socks up! In a lot of ways this sounds like it's not a step-parenting prob per say, but as you say it's about communication and him taking you for granted.
LittleSnaily for you too! I think it's nice that DP wants to be there to help DSD when she's at her DMs, but HOW frustrating when you are expecting child free time!!! Hopefully he can understand how you feel and prioritise some uninterrupted time with you.
I haven't seen much of DSD this week as have been working late- but tonight is her last night with us in our flat (as we're away for a family wedding at the weekend then she's back to her DM on Sun) so hopefully going out for dinner, if I can get out of here!

Something strong please....I'm a mess!

Whyareall just seen this- hope you're ok today? Have a pre lunch
Melon did DSS go off to camp in the end?

Hope everyone is ok this week, in spite of the horrible weather! We have now taken DSD back to her DMs- definitely missed her last night, house seemed v empty- but am also shattered! by the bucket load for me!