Sigh.
So, I tried to talk to him Friday night - I ignored his hectoring tone when he said "So, do you want to tell me what's going on?" and tried to explain how I felt.
Anything I feel he says "right, so it's all my fault?", anything I say happened he either denies, huffs and says I am twisting things or says he can't remember.
He then goes on to yell at me that I have ruined every single holiday we have ever been on by being 'in a mood' for reasons he doesn't know. I didn't even go on last year's holiday (because he booked it and I didn't want to spend yet another fucking holiday with his family, traipsing round after other people's toddlers and crabbing) but even not going somehow ruined it. I did point out that I couldn't bloody win.
So, this is the second year in a row I haven't had what I would call a proper holiday. (yet both years I have paid towards it)
I did say that it turns out I don't like being on holiday with children. And, yes, that does include dss when he acts like an arse and dp doesn't pick him up on it. (he claimed not to have 'noticed' the things I listed).
So, ref the 'festival' - he said to me Friday night as we got into bed (again, hectoring tone) "So, are you going next weekend or not" (I had not said at any point ever that I wasn't going, I have said several times that I don't like the band and when he plays their music [which is fecking constantly] I have told him I don't like it - he reckons him playing it will persuade me to like it). And I said "I don't know" - we were still barely talking so it didn't seem politic at that point to say no, but I wasn't sure I wanted to say yes.
He went into a paddy, going on about 'well I need to know and I don't want you going along and then whining the whole time and making it miserable of everyone else'. So I said "OK, I won't go" and then he had another paddy about how it was a bit late to decide and who else was going to use the ticket.....
Then we met his friends yesterday, of whom, the man is going to this festival. Man asks me 'so, you're going next week?' - 'no' I say, 'I'm not going, it's not really my type of thing'. dp looks at me with a mock surprise/questioning look which I ignore. Female of the couple says 'oh, x said you were going but I didn't think you would be' (see - she gets it but my own dp doesn't!).
Later we get home and dp says "so, you're not coming next weekend then?", "no", I say, "as I said last night". "Did you?" he says "yes, we had a whole conversation about it and you said you didn't want me to go if I was going to be miserable and that you would invite y instead so I said in that case I wouldn't go".
"I don't remember that" he says.
Some days I think I am going mad.
Anyway, he then started his normal self-pitying whining about how he tried to do something nice....and I made it very clear he had not done this for me, it's his thing,. nothing to do with me, he wanted to go. All he had to do was discuss it with me before he bought the tickets. (He did the same last year and I didn't go last year either, so you'd think he'd learn his lesson wouldn't you?). I then said it clashed with the yoga weekend and I was also cross when he told me he'd bought them because I wanted to go on the yoga thing - he then launched into an attack on me for not telling him about the yoga thing until now. I explained there had been no point telling him about the yoga thing because I found out about it around the time he told me he had booked these tickets and as I was planning to go with him I didn't think it was worth mentioning but that it would have all been so much better if he had just asked me before buying the tickets and anyway, I can't go now because the yoga thing is sold out.
He's driving me mental.
He's gone to pick up a friend's dog it turns out we were looking after. Another thing I knew nothing about. I said "it's not on the calendar" - he swore blue that it was. But it isn't. Not really something worth him arguing over when all you have to do is check.