Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

Sorry to hear that definitely and time then.

This is my first post here [on netmums]! I'm a "step mum" and whilst I am pondering what to do say/vent, if anything, I wanted to offer a lovely G&T to all the StepParents out there giving me faith, and the realisation that it is normal to struggle with it. I don't want kids of my own, and my partner's ex and I actually get on super well, but I struggle with parenting at the weekends, and it's been really helpful to see the wide range of experiences others have had. Thanks everyone :)

Welcome bristol, mumsnet has been a big help to me over the last few years with step parenting stuff both the good and the bad. Like you I don't have my own children but unlike you DPs ex is a pain, his daughter a delight. Very excited to be an official step mum on Friday. I find posting in here easier than the main board at times as there is always constructive ideas and support without negative assumptions.

Hope your wedding goes well NZ! And then you're a proper wicked stepmother

Yes many best wishes for your wedding on Friday NZ!

Can I join you? Had enough today! DP's ex dropped off their DD and was pissed off I was here. She knows we live together, I'm not sure why she deems it necessary for me to vacate my own house just because her DD is here (who I get on very well with!).

Everyone's welcome except those who think we're all monsters. Does she think you leave the house every time her daughter visits? Or is she just in a mood?

Thanks Matilda. is much appreciated. Sending back to you too. Though I do think MN should have a white wine icon as last time I drank red I was sick :/
Had an awful day and just wanted to sit down after work but nope apparently that's not okay. She thinks I should leave the house She was over the one evening either picking up or dropping off DSD and was saying how much her DD likes me. Then she phoned DP up about 2 hours later saying it's unfair how much I'm around her DD and he should see her on his own more often 1) I live here, 2) I'm out most evenings doing my own thing and also some of the weekends she's here I'm not here at all! I can only assume she expects me to vacate my own property though I cannot fathom why!

I'd like a white wine icon too!

Why the hell does this women think you should bugger off out, every time her DD visits (your) home?! If your DP thought he needed to have more one on one time with his DD, then he could take her out shopping/for lunch/a walk, whatever! And anyway, what goes on at your house, with your partner and his daughter has nothing whatsoever to do with his ex! No wonder SM's have such a hard time, with nonsence like this to cope with!

Faith, that's crazy! Let her moan to your dp....then swiftly ignore. What goes on in your DP's time during his contact (including who's there) is none of her business, and that works for her too :)

Faith that is crazy. That's why it's often a good idea to minimise contact between exes to practical stuff only. What's best for kids is low or no animosity.

Thank you everyone for the well wishes. Its today.... Not sure if I'm excited or terrified. Thankfully its very laid back on the beach with less than 20 of us. So far we are having an amazing holiday with DSD (officially today) and her cousins.
Faith that would really annoy me too. I do tend to hide though when DSDs mum appears but that's for my sanity not because she thinks I shouldn't be there.

Looks like I'm lucky in that my dsd mum is fine with me being here but that's how it has to be as I'm often free childcare in school holidays as her and dp don't get paid holidays and after schools cost a fortune!

Hi, I've never posted before but I'm joining in. DSC are coming for a week from tomorrow morning and the drama has started already!!

Lots of texts from their mother already, clubs they need to attend (never asks if this is ok just where they have to be and when) it makes it so hard to do anything as a family.

I don't drink but I'll need lots of tea and cake this week!

Hello mums,

I'm new to mumsnet and browsing threads here allowed me to gain more information of motherhood. I'm not a step mother but reading your posts made me realized how my step mum did all things but I wasn't able to appreciate it considering that she's not my real mum. Sometimes, I contemplated and guilty of the things I did to her but I always think that this is the only way to get revenge for my mother.

Proudmom, what do you mean get revenge are you saying that's how you felt as a child, or as you feel now?

Was she the other woman? Only way I can make sense of getting revenge!

And good luck notmydolly! and available too! Let us know how you're getting on

Get revenge? . Is that what your mum wanted you to do for her?

I'm 4 cups of tea down and half a cake!!!! Off to the gym later to burn it off.

So far so good....no major issues. The normal back chat....different boundaries etc etc.

I have 2 DC of my own who are dd who is nearly 10 and ds who is 3,

DSD is 10 and dss is 8.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend in the sun

Sorry all for the delay in relying. DP thinks she doesn't like it because the way DSD talks it sounds like I do everything for and with her whereas he does nothing. Not true of course and she just likes me because I'm relatively new compared to her mum, dad etc. I don't know, perhaps he's right and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable this evening. DP's ex was asking DP today about me, she wanted to know everything about me. Part of me feels annoyed and like she's being intrusive but then another part of me wonders if I'd be just as curious if I were her. I mean it's obvious I'm a big part of her DD's life now, maybe I'd be the same?

Anyway hope everybody's weekend is going well. I'm now on the cider. and to all

Tears and tantrums this weekend. The joy of a blended family.

DH and I look after and pay for our own kids, generally. DSS (15) has just gone off on a school trip to Austria. Dh's ex signed him up for it and DH just paid as he did not want to be the bad guy (£1k, an expensive trip imo).

My DD (15) was not interested in going on the trip. Till she found out that 'all her friends' and DSS were going. Even if she had wanted to go, I could not afford it. Her DF could not afford it either.

I do not expect DH to pay for my DD for her school trips. He can afford to pay for his DS and I can not afford to pay for DD, so he goes and she does not.

I have had a weekend of 'it's not fair'. I know it isn't but sometimes life is like that. She tells me that her friends can not understand why DSS is going but she isn't.

Took her shopping and for a meal, just the two of us. She feels a bit better now. I feel worn out and a bit guilty.

God calico that must be difficult! Obviously if you and your dp weren't together it would be the same but comparing between them and friends wondering why they aren't getting the same must be difficult. Hope it all resolves and she's alright!

Phew Calico...that must have been hard! Yes I would imagine it is difficult for her to have friends asking why she couldn't go!

My DH and I do always try to ensure all our (grown) DC get the same as regards Christmas and birthday gifts etc, and tbh I would have expected, if we were in your position, that if both couldn't go then neither would have!

Its official I'm now Mrs NZmonkey. Had an amazing day DSD was so well behaved even when she was too hot and then tired. We let the little kids strip off and paddle in the beach water while doing photos so they could cool down haha. Currently honeymooning in a tropical storm but it will clear up.

Calico that must be real tough one of the kids being able to go the other not. We are lucky with just DSD and I don't plan to have my own kids so we won't have that issue to worry over in future.

Faith I think my DSD probably talks like that at her mums too as you I do everything for her but its also really not true. I just do the mornings and a lot of the fun stuff. I make DH (ohh that's a novelty to say) do all the stuff I'm not keen on. Your probably right on both idea about all the ex's questions its is intrusive but at the same time understandable as your spending time with her child. Must be hard at timea for parents to have to trust the other parent on who is involved in their child's life.

Congratulations MrsNZ!