Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

I'm also dropping in for a drink please. 15 hours worth of flights from home on holiday with DP and DSDs mum continues to send ridiculous totally unreasonable messages regarding their parenting agreement. She basically wants to dictate/control DSDs every breath in DPs house.

Me and dp always imagine that she will get to be a teenager she's five right now and she won't want to come hang about with us when her friends are at home! Guess we'll just have to make sure she has friends here too... Or just accept it! Will be strange cause we will hopefully have our own by then and they'd miss her

This thread makes me very aware of al the challenges still to face! Being a 25 year old practical sm is not what I imagined at all!

NZ jeez - does your DP even look at them anymore?

My DP wants his every Sunday. Give h frequency of seeing them and Friday nights for us, used to be that way and was great. Currently EOW which is ok but not ideal. It's a process that we are going through )that the ex drags on) every full weekend would drive me mental

I'm off again now. Some of you (mostly on this tread) are awesome but all the negative nasty bitches were dragging me down to their level so I'm staying off the site, will pop in to say hi like this occasionally :-)

Oh don't do that WSM, you've got a lot to contribute!

Bananas - yea I don't know why he is bothering to read them here would be better to just ignore till we get home. Unfortunately he will have to respond to all of it eventually as he either has to come to an agreement with her amicably or we start down the mediation/court route which will take months.

I'm in your boat too Matilda DSD is still very young and this thread and many others make me very aware of all the challenges yet to come. Hopefully with a lot of good stuff along the way too.

Hey guys!

Just swinging but to see how you all are. H and I split for good now. I had one last weekend of constantly tidying and the SC not expected to lift a finger and ignore me. H actually said he didn't think they should tidy while they are here

Anyway, I'm sorting some help money wise and H has agreed to keep paying the mortgage (we'll see)

My house is tide. DS's room no longer get trashed and I'll never have that anxious feeling the Wednesday befor they come.

I had a bit of a wobble the other day but then read some of the threads on here and it make me realise what I won't have to put up with anymore.

WhoGives I'm sad to hear this! Although the your dp is wrong they should be clearing up after themselves etc dsd knows that and she's five!

I hope life is better for you and your son and you don't have to live dreading when the come!

He's at a family member this weekend with his other two. He will have our ds the next weekend. Can't have them
Altogether as he doent have enough seats in his van. Don't know how long his family will put up with that....kids every weekend. Not my problem though

Well hopefully you can have a nice weekend to yourself next weekend! Pamper yourself

I'm planning a night out! Yay for me :)

Sorry who gives - hope it gets easier. Do you think your now Ex DP regrets not making more of an effort?

Think I'll drop into this thread again for some

Dd's friend's band were playing a gig near us tonight. Dd had free tickets but under 14s had to be accompanied so I went too. DH wouldn't go because DSS2 was being dropped off mid evening. I've now come home to find DH all snuggled up on the couch with the DSC half way through some movie, so I'm sat in the kitchen feeling a bit of an outsider as DD has headed off to her dad's for the weekend.

My DC and DSC get on really well these days, which is great. But it means more than ever that when I don't have my own DC here I'd rather just have some adult time with DH. We've both been really busy with work this week so hardly seen each other.

Enjoy your night out whogives . And glad you seem to have resolved things to move on with your life. Bound to get better from now on

Matilda - depends where you live I think. My DSC come more than ever now they're teens, as we're nearer school than their mum. My own ex is nearby too and my DC still go to his regularly. He's got a little one who misses them apparently when they're not there.

I have to say though she has attitude at five so maybe we won't want her so much as a teenager (just kidding of course!) but I hope we see her as much!

Just going to spend the rest of this weekend feeling very broody I think! If only we could be rich and afford babies whenever

Whogives, I am sorry to hear your news, and good luck. I wonder how long he will be saying they do not have to tidy or clear up, when you are not there to do it for them.

DSS comes home from school on Friday, goes straight to his room and does not come out, apart from to go to the bathroom, till time for school on Monday. It is like that on every day he is here, every weekend and one or two nights during the week. DH is RP. DH delivers all his meals and drinks to him in his room.

Last night DH and I went out for a couple of hours. He went to see DSS when we got back. He had split milkshake on his (cream) bedroom carpet, dabbed at it with a towel and left it for DH to clean. FFS he is 15!

Not sure why it is annoying me, I am used to it, but it is bugging me at the moment.

Calico I'm not surprised it bugs you, it's not great for anyone your DSS just holding up in his room like it's a bedsit or hotel with room service. Your DSS isn't mature enough to just cut off either, he needs to be a part of the household, and he probably still needs a parent not a room maid!

and he probably still needs a parent not a room maid
Absolutely! How can anyone imagine that waiting on a child but not interacting with them constitutes parenting?

I do not see it my place to parent or interact with him. His DF does, but struggles to get him out of his room.

When we moved house about a year ago, we set new rules in place, he had to eat with the family and interact etc. He made it so uncomfortable for everyone at meal times that his DF agreed that he could go back to eating in his room.

I am used to it, however I do find it odd. He will go without food it it is not taken up to him. There have been the odd occasion that we have not known he was in the house and he has been in his room without food, and he will still not come out.

No it's not your role calico . Just that your DP can think he's actually being a parent to his DS by doing that. And sad that your DSS is growing up with such a lack of relationship with his dad or the rest of your family

Can I hop on? I'm feeling exhausted, drained and fed up. I've been a SM for 4 years and have one of my own. The last year has been hard and I'm now at the point where I'm dreading every weekend we have the DSC. All I want to do is retreat, scoop up my DC and make a bid for freedom- gah, does it ever get better?

Feel free to pull up a stool, I'm lining up the shots and would love some sympathetic company!

Sympathies with wanting to retreat nafnaf!

Thanks bananas. I'm so unhappy, I'm actively considering leaving dh. Obviously there are other reasons, but I'm sick of being responsible for someone else's kids. Dh takes a more laid back to approach to parenting (ie leaves it to me) and I've had enough.

nafnaf it is not fair that you should be responsible for his kids. Arrange to go out for the day next time they are due. As per my pp I disengage, which does work, most of the time.