struggling!

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My step son is 11 yo and I just don't like him! Ok that sounds bad.
He stays over night with us alternative weekends, then one weekend a month we have him 8-7 and the other weekend my hubby just takes him to football then home. the thing is, we live in a small 2 bed flat and he won't share a room with my daughter (6yo) so he goes to bed in our bed then gets transferred to sofa when we go to bed. Housing won't move us as he isn't with us enough.
Also his attitude stinks. I try not to get involved but whenever I do he won't listen. He shouts at me or just cries.
He ignores my daughter 75% of the time or is nasty to her.
I'm now 20w pregnant with my 2nd and I just can't take the stress anymore. I've spoken to hubby who generally agrees with me but is worried about getting limited access or being taken to csa (we currently have an arrangement privately with the mum and pay her weekly)
I just don't know what to do. Just needing to rant really

I can't believe anyone would say a child gets transferred to the sofa when they mean he walks there, so does that make us equal on terms I of disbelief?

Your story changed hugely.

Still I'm glad to see you now say you like this child .

My "story" hasn't changed at all I have simply elaborated on things eg the house move. By the council won't move us, I mean they haven't in the 6yrs we have been on waiting list offered us anywhere new, because we, before I was pregnant, only had 1 resident child. With ss only staying once a fortnight they were never going to move us. The only reason we have this house coming up is because the current tenants are buying a place. Who in there right mind would leave a 3 bed house or even a 2 bed house for a 2 bed, tiny, first floor flat?

You're being a tad dsingenuous there, OP

What you said originally was;

thing is, we live in a small 2 bed flat and he won't share a room with my daughter (6yo) so he goes to bed in our bed then gets transferred to sofa when we go to bed. Housing won't move us as he isn't with us enough.

No mention at all of an imminent tenancy exchange (or any other solutin) on the horizon.

So, why present it as an insoluble problem if, in fact, relief was at hand?

What does it matter that 'Housing won't move us' if you're moving anyway? Why say it if you're not telling the whole story? It was misleading.

FWIW it could be the future arrival of a new baby which is freaking the DSS out. Young teenagers can be awkward about this, it is a big upheaval, he already has a much younger DSis which he might see as a nuisance, the age gap is big. If his DM has had new DCs perhaps that resulted in him being left out which might be making him resentful. So it might be nothing to do with the OP's treatment of him.

You might do better on AIBU next time OP

It all reminds me of the way women who report rape get treated in court. Relentless cross-examination re perceived inconsistencies. Clearly the plaintiff is unreliable and untrustworthy. Let us examine her history. Can we trust her word etc.

While there are places on Mumsnet where women seek to support and help each other, the Step-parenting thread does not tend to be one of them.

Where would you like your truckload of grips delivered Marianne?

That comparison is in incredibly poor taste as well as being inaccurate.

marianne that is a scarily accurate analogy!

Sadly, it does appear that some regular MNers have taken on the role of prosecuting barrister - and indeed, openly admit that they believe it their role to play. Not just on this board, but on others too. Shame. MN is getting an unfortunate reputation - and certain named posters are now ridiculed and mocked on other forums.

some regular MNers have taken on the role of prosecuting barrister - and indeed, openly admit that they believe it their role to play.

Someone said that? Who?

I'm disgusted by that comparison Marianne so will not address it.

Peru I too am intrigued by this open admission of "barrister" like behavior . Where can one find this admission along with information on the other boards affected? Feel free to PM of you don't want to start bring other threads onto this one, which as we all know breaks talk guidelines.

It all reminds me of the way women who report rape get treated in court.

What a disgusting comparison.

As for this bleating about how badly treated people are on this board that is complete and utter rubbish.
Why is it that on this board unless you are 100% supportive no matter what the situation you are "bringing MN down". The OP changed important details as the thread went on. This is frustrating on any board and of course this was pointed out just as they would be anywhere on MN.

As for MN is getting an unfortunate reputation - and certain named posters are now ridiculed and mocked on other forums. Ha ha ha ha really wow a handful of posters are dictating the reputation of MN across the world are they?? You do know how utterly ridiculous you sound don't you?
Oh and mocked on other forums if you mean the little groups grouchy mnetters have set up because they didn't get their own way on here I couldn't give a toss. Do you really think it matters that a bunch of people I don't know are talking about me on a site I am not aware of?

OP I can assure you in the most strenuous terms possible that had you posted similar to your last post in your OP you'd have received an entirely different response, certainly from me. I, too have overcrowding problems and could have sympathized and offered practical advice. However the clearly stated dislike of your step child rather set the tone for the entire thread. Thankfully that seems to have disappeared entirely now, along with most of the other issues stated in the OP. In fact the thread is now barely recognizable to the one started .

I'm delighted if I am being talked about elsewhere . No such thing as bad press

It's like Mean Girls meets Big Brother (Orwell) Floss

I have a vision of cliques perched in clouds, sipping bile cocktails and passing the ipad round.

The really confusing aspect is that only 'aw hun, keep doing exactly what you're doing' is considered supportive of good advice by these naysayers.

^OR good advice....

Yes indeed Nicki. Nice happy ending though.

Housing sorted and she likes her DSS after all.

And they all lived happily ever after .

Do you really think it matters that a bunch of people I don't know are talking about me on a site I am not aware of?

It didn't occur to me that anyone would be talking about me at all until you implied it was a possibility. All that excitement for nothing .

Well given my input on this thread was it really so out there to assume you meant me?

Thing is I don't see the point of you mentioning it at all. What purpose does it serve? Fear? Worry? Paranoia?
Bit of a childish and silly thing to post really kind of "ooooh other people are talking and bitching about you over there, you should be bothered by it"

For the second time on this thread I am going to say.....grow up ffs.

"Someone's talking about someone here, but I am not telling you who"

Now imagine a primary school aged child saying that!

Thing is I don't see the point of you mentioning it at all

A phrase that is equally applicable to the majority of posts on MN, don't you think?

It's a discussion forum - do all posts & comments have to have a higher purpose? You discussed Heston's daffodils earlier on this thread............

It is rather puerile.

I quite like the bit about someone openly saying that they were an MN barrister though. I might check back later to see if that claim's been substantiated in any way. Or will you link now Peruvian?

It's just such a terribly childish thing to say Peru which makes it very noticeable and inviting of comment. I have to say I too am rather as to your motives. As you say though not all posts have to serve a higher purpose but it would be rather boring if no one ever questioned some of the more ludicrous statements made on this board.

arsenic - nah, I don't think I will right now, what with the talk guidelines an'all - but do check back later though; you never know, I might decide to flout the rules

Ah, as I thought. You're making things up

Oh for goodness sake what a load of childish nonsense. How embarrassing.