Sleeping arrangements - DS x 2, SS and DD

[MummyA1984]

Do people think it's ok for my DS 9 and DD 4 to share a room the nights he stays over? Is he too old to be expected to share with a 4 yo girl?

We haven't had much contact with SS due to his mum so dd doesn't really know him at all. They've only met 3 or 4 times, she seems to like him tho. I'm just feeling unsure if it's the right thing to do to put them in together? I don't see we have much of an alternative in fairness...

Thanks

I wish my DSC didn't have to take every scrap back, but it's clear from their mum where their home is,

TheJingleMumsRush we have the same thing, dsc's mum refuses to let them bring anything apart from what they are wearing and whatever expensive gadget she has bought them.

Dsd at 16 has just started to put her foot down and brings a small bag with her but we have clothes, toys, toiletries, books that live here. We don't care if they take stuff back with them but apparently mum throws it away so they've stopped trying to

Given your harsh comments to the OP, I’m surprised you’re not berating Nooy for using the spare room as guest room/dressing room when DSS isn’t using it!

What harsh comments are these Petal?
From reading the thread it appears there are many that agree with me. The OP and DP has spent a lot of money decorating bedrooms and buying beds/furniture and are only NOW considering the SS. It is not like he hasn't stayed before.
To use her words she is reluctant, it is unfair on her children. Where was the consideration for her SS in any of her posts? He is clearly an after thought and not a welcome one at that.

Instead of spending so much on an oversized pirate bed why did the OP not buy a bunk bed of one of those which has a pull out bed? Lets face it the SS has been around longer than the 3 other DC yet he was easily forgot about when the allocation and decoration of bedrooms happened

Flossy, I think you’re guilty of double standards here

This place is so strange sometimes.

Wading in late on here to say all this berating the OP is missing the real guilty person here - her DH.

Why isn't he the one advocating for the DSS? Where was he when pirate beds were being installed?

If he's so desperate to make his son feel like part of the family, surely he has some say in how bedrooms were allocated? He needs to step up and make sure all his children are being treated equally and made to feel welcome in his home.

V good point Occam

I did mention early on her DH needs to step up and it was met with they have been to court spent loads and noting has changed.

Sad situation all round and I really hope the OP and her DH start to look at the situation differently.

We all agree that the father needs to grow a pair!

In this thread both the SM and the father have been less than ideal in recognising the needs of 4 kids.

There is an awful lot we have not been told in this case

I was thinking people were being a little harsh at the beginning, but then I realised that the OP didn't get into an unfortuneate room situation out of the blue, and that she and her DP were the ones responsible for creating the situation.

Who sits there and calmly plans decorating so that a child has no place in his fathers home? Someone who's keen to exclude anyone else from her perfect family, even a young child. Nice.