Do-gooding clique thread

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Thanks for the name dozie

I would love to join you!

CV
I love hats
I love cake
I love love love the idea of hat-bombing threads

Well I do have some experience of nits (unfortunately).

It's a occupational hazard when you go trying on other people's hats.

For Iore

This thread is so encouraging

As a LP (not a SP) I'm aware that dd will more than likely end up with a SP at some point in her life.

Reading some of the SP threads I'd be quaking in my boots at what she was potentially going to end up forced to be part of some kind of nightmarish stressful household with someone who hated and resented her.

Good to know that there's a chance she'll end up with someone in her life that might provide her with extra support and even enrichment plus given what exH is like the woman would have to be a bloody saint to begin with

Hatbombing a thread about nits seems oddly appropriate...

Yes I agree Walt but from what I read and I did give up 5 pages in - it was lots of leave and very little acknowledgement of how hard it must be (Im assuming that the OP is my sort of age), to suddenly have 2 older teens full time - especially with no children of your own.The teens board is full of people struggling and these are people who have raised these children.

Being told to leave a house you bought (I owned my house pre dh so I get it), is hard and the difficulties of renting with dogs downplayed - no one takes pets here. I dont think Tapper really hates the SCs from what I read she feels trapped and frustrated in a situation not of her making. I am so lucky DH listened to me - but only after I had a hissy fit and threw him and SD out for the night after being told something was none of my business (my dh too was broke when we met I was supporting them in all ways).

I have a policy of seeing the best in people and reaching out a helping hand - in real life I do something nice for someone, for no return, every single day - sometimes big sometimes small.

That is what gives meaning to me - it has made me a better person. I refuse to become bitter - I can see someone drowning - condemnation and banter may mean ittle to
Its easy to say be nice - and she probably is to them in RL. She is just venting

Forums generally bring out extreme posters - people who are happily bumbling along dont post. I never posted about my dc and dh - there was no need.

Ive been on this forum for more than 10 years now, long enough I feel to read between the lines. This may not have meant to come across as a thread about a thread but that is how, at first reading,it comes across, and not many people read more than th first few and most recent posts in a long thread.

plinth :)

I'm sure she'll be fine.

I could feel never mind read the pain behind the posts and a kind word - if I am correct in my reading of the situation - goes a long way - a harsh one stings a lot longer - I agree Tapper is lashing out at the wrong people - but she seems so sad beneath it all.

Anyway - thats my reading of this thread and the first 5 pages of that one - there are people needling her here, there are people who are just genuinely having a laugh - but if she is as desparate a I read it - kindess doesnt cost anything and makes a huge difference.

why I do think, in fairness, that the constant suggestions of leave were because of the sheer volume of threads on the same thing with the same ending.

Every. Single. Time.

Also, I do think it's helpful to say in your title or OP; I'm just venting/I need a rant whatever.

That goes a long way in helping that the tone IMO.

Flossy you can always use these -->

Oh Flossy and you used it for puppies in hats!

Don't worry about nits. DD is a nit magnet and you'll probably find there is a world shortage at the moment as they have found refuge on her head

As an expert please tell me how to nuke them!!

plinth remember most SPs have children of their own who are also someones scs - also many SPs have been step children themselves - the majority of blended families bumble along together quite nicely - so they dont post - despite what has been psted here I did love my scs and did everything for them I did for my own.

It doesn't Why and we have extended that to her on here. Tapper is free to post here as anyone is and she will not be bullied off. However we believe in promoting positive SPing were possible and hateful blogs and posts will be challenged.

I for one am pleased you stuck around why

Nits need a battery operate zapper and a nitty gritty

a hat emoticon!!!

True Thumb true

Ooh a doglover, good

Heavens I go to do other stuff and come back to find a few buns, a guest appearance and inadvertent hat bombing.

hoobs, I looked at your hat bombed thread and loved the way everyone just carried on as if nothing had happened, rather like the Vicar farting at a Vicarage tea party and everyone just carrying on talking and pretending not to notice. I can't understand why no-one at least queried the sudden arrival of an uncalled for hat.

walt I know but much like a DV victim - its very hard to get off the merry go round and I do think its worth bearing in mind its a lot more painful living on it than reading about it.

Tapper will get there in the end - thanks Flossy I did think we had it all sorted, I got SD counselling and she was doing well, SS with love and boundaries seemed to be doing well, college and work wise - maybe we we had - but it was all too late.

I hesitate to say my methods worked because of the bombshell that detroyed our lives - but certainly the troubled children who came into my ife bore no

**bore no resemblence to who they became 7 years later.

I dont know now I never see or speak to them - one abused one lied to police and Ss to protect an abuser, I feel sorry for SD - shevwas in a terrible position for a young girl - but I have to protect the most vunerable and thats our youngest children - I rwfuse to allow someone who shares their home with an abuser in their lives but she knows the door is open if she chose to make a different choice.

And that why despite all you have been through with your SS is why you are a positive SP.

You have left the door open for SD and do not hate or vilify her.

why it's wonderful that your door is always open for your SD and I am pretty sure that one day she will make that different choice and walk through it.

That's wonderful, why, that you've left the door open.

Goodness you could write a book on what you've been through. and to you.

I hope she does come back to see her siblings why

why, on the other thread I did post reasonable, constructive advice, and tried to suggest that a change of attitude, or a different way of looking at things would improve the situation, however, it became apparent that the OP was only looking for validation for her behaviour and encouragement to continue it. Unfortunately, for all involved, that OP doesn't possess your character traits.

Ive had a lot of time and a lot of experience I wasnt always so rational - plus DH is onside and we have our own DCs - my husband is a wonderful man. Time was in the distant past online I came across as a WSM - I dreaded her visits and at one point aI refused point blank to have her alone - those were the early days DH used to have to take her to work.

I do hope she breaks free - for her own sake not ours. She has gurt me so badly I am not saying it would be easy but she is dhsbanf as such is still responsibility and he misses her a lot - he misses them all. Its very sad.