why of course you're not through it, that was stupid of me. But I am glad that it didn't completely destroy you. You are a phenomenonly strong person.
Your SS, even before the nightmare, treated you appallingly even based on that one example.
I think the problem is that the sc aren't always as bad as someone thinks in that situation. And sometimes it's beneficial to have that pointed out.
I remember sd said something awful about my db (not abuse). He wasn't even in the house when he supposedly attacked her (shoved her out of a room).
I felt like I really hated her then. She said pretty quickly that she'd made it up. She also said there were drugs in my house! Completely out of left field that one - it was so bizarre!
From another parenting website I learned coping mechanisms, I learned tolerance and communication, I learned that I was entitled to feel all the negative things I was feeling about that situation and for a time but not for her and not forever.
I had the option to split from dh and I don't think there was any harm in having that pointed out to me. Sometimes it's beneficial for someone to say "you can leave. You don't deserve this".
I chose to stay and work through it.
I'm glad I did. It took perseverance, mutual respect and constant communication on all sides.
Now I truly love her and we are getting ready to welcome her own ds.
My long winded point is that the posters who don't agree with someone on here are trying to offer alternative opinions, are trying to say hating is a) pointless and b) detrimental but also c) completely unreasonable at times.
That's not judgement! That's life.
And if someone turns nasty on a thread well, I will always reserve the right to call him/her on it because why should I or anyone else put up with that?!