Thank you for all of your messages, and mellow autumn that is so lovely, I might take you up on it.
I have reached a point where I am past caring, and really not interested in any of them anymore. 'D' H or the nobhead as I am now referring to him as, was told this morning, that I have struggled with a kidney infection long enough, I am taking my painkillers, they will space me out and render me pretty much useless, so he can look after our children today while I try to get better. He didnt argue, took them out for a few hours, and has kept them entertained and put them to bed. So far so good. However I got three phone calls when he was out that will make you all laugh, or at least I did.
About ten mins after he left, EX rang. On our house phone, which she never does, as ive been ignoring her calls to my mobile, she needs to ring DH not me. Anyway, explain DH isnt here, and I'll ask him to call her when he gets in or I speak to him next. She says I was just wondering when to drop the girls off this afternoon. I said they are not due here, they only went home yesterday - she said she has been offered a last minute weekend away and wants to go, and my MIL, and her Mum have said they cant. I said well I'm sorry but im not very well so I cant and DH isnt even here, so I cant ask him, but the answer would be no I'd imagine anyway. Was met with a torrent of abuse, 'its just one night' 'you fucking witch, I need a break' - I just hung up.
She then rang back. She said the girls have no clothes. I said thats because you dumped them in black bags and left them in my porch expecting me to wash them. She went off, their uniforms are in there, I havent got time. I said DH wouldnt know how to turn a machine on, and I'm not doing your washing. I have looked through the bags when I moved them to check the clothes werent damp so they didnt ruin - and have washed their uniforms, and enough clothes for today and tomorrow, but im not doing the rest. (it grated but I predicted this would happen and its not fair to the girls all said and done, wont be doing it again).I will have someone drop it over later, or you can come collect it, and if you try it again, I will leave them until you pick them up, and if the girls have no clean clothes that is down to you. She was screaming with rage, so again I hung up.
MIL then rang about half hour after. What is going on, EX is crying down the phone, she doesnt know whats she done, and why you are being horrible to her - why wont you have the girls she needs a holiday - and whats this about washing? I waited until she'd finished, explained about the washing, and to my horror, MIL actually said, well I dont blame you, she should wash their clothes, its not hard, that is cheeky.' I explained I wasnt very well hence why we couldnt have them, and how they werent meant to be here this week anyway, but were dumped, and im not very well, and they only went home yesterday as she knew. Oh she says, well that puts a different light on it. I can see where you are coming from. I then said, I had no idea why she rang you, she could turn up with an army and I wouldnt budge. But there you are. MIL then said 'I know about your 'situation' DH rang me in tears last night, said you were leaving and terminating and told him your marriage is in the toilet'. I said yes our marriage is in the toilet, thanks to mainly your DH, his attitude, and lack of respect, the ex and her shit, you and your shit, and my lack of interest anymore. He shouldn't have told you about me being pregnant, its none of your business'. Well she says - what are you going to do - I dont know, I said, I'll come to that decision on my own - well keep me informed - err I dont think so - none of your business, I'll keep DH informed. We have no relationship, youre barely civil to me, you are just digging for gossip so I suggest you find something else to do, I need to take some more painkillers. Then I hung up.
DH comes home, having had phone calls from the both of them. The ex, he said should have called him, but he agrees with what I said. FIl dropped the bin bags of clothes back to her, and took the bag of clean clothes, which he even said was too nice - but can see why I did it. She apparently wasnt impressed but whatever. As for his mother, well - she apparently called him in tears, cant understand what has gotten into me, and why our relationship is so bad and why I hate her so much. I said I dont hate her, or your ex, or even you - I have no feelings towards any of you, as you dont towards me. I co exist in your family as a dogsbody - and its only know im on strike you lot have even noticed. He said I do love you you know - I said really - well its doesnt show and its too little too late now anyway. I am not firefighting you and your family and the shit anymore - I'm not interested. Your mum, your ex, your kids your problem. He said about coming with me on Monday - I said why would I take you when you are putting pressure on me anyway. I'm going on my own, this decision is mine - I dont know what it is, but I wont be pressured anymore - as I'm already effectively a single parent to three, slave to the ex and 2 SDs and I dont know with my health the way it is if im ready to add a newborn into that - and deal with you. I will let you know. And went back to bed. Im sat upstairs, hes downstairs, and for the first time in days I'm not in pain, and for the first time in weeks, im relaxed, happier, and have spent the afternoon with the kids watching a film upstairs then had a bath and read my kindle in peace without having to pander to other people. I like the change and may make it permanent. I've had texts of BIL, My mum, our friends, hes been broadcasting our problems and is in a mess apparently. Well we'll see - I do love this ape but I dont know if im still in love with him, and I need to see some effort and change on his part, or for the first time, I am fully prepared to walk away. xx