Should by boyfriend pay towards kids if he moves in ?

[Catflap1]

How do you manage when partner moves in with you and your children with regards to the kids expenses?

My boyfriend of 2 and a half years has been talking about moving in with me as we are expecting a baby together!

We haven't discussed it fully but he seems to think he can take over the rent/council tax and doesn't seem to understand that I will lose my tax credits which would basically leave me nothing as my small wages only just cover my bills I.e car insurance, water, tv, dancing fees, etc and my tax credits weekly cover has/elec, food, school trips, clothes, day to day life etc.

I concerned with his attitude towards the fact I get no maintenace from my ex for my 3 children and while I don't expect him to have to support them 100% I did expect him to have to contribute to family life if he wants to move in to our family home. I get by ok for money working and being topped up tax credits and my children dance (one heavily at competition level) which is expensive and I would not be prepared for them to have to give this up so he could move in yet he has made lots of comments if I can't afford it then they will have to quit etc! And how I need to mske my ex pay for the children as it's not his responsibility (CSA have been chasing ex for 5 years and still not one penny)

I'm a little worried he knew I had 3 kids when we met and I'm concerned that he wants to move in and only support the DC we are having together and my children will end up suffering and losing out on the things they love

What a dick! His mate is probably sick of his pisstaking and wants to charge more rent, so he wants to move to yours.

I would never in a million years allow a man to treat my children the way he does your daughters.

I'd be talking to him about contact arrangements and maintenance and his little freeloading at yours 3-4days a week being OVER.

you will end up living in a two tier household if you let him move in, and your kids will be at the bottom of the pile. Did you post about him before? Was it your DP who only wanted his son and not your DCs to go away for a caravan weekend?

he sounds like a total knut please do not let him treat your daughters like that they might not forgive you.

Oh Catflap!

Your post at 22:26 says it all. You have been screwed over financially by one man and are heading the same way

Please listen to what people are saying. If he is not committing financially to your whole family, how is he going to be emotionally with your existing DCs?

What a complete and utter nob. You and your children deserve much much more.

With regards to your ex and CSA, they are quite useless at getting money I've found!

Instead if you have all the cash in hand job info as you've said, report him to HMRC. There's an online firm to report tax evasion which is what he's doing. It's anonymous and they are a lot hotter on this sort of thing than the CSA.

yes do that in fact the CSA advised me to do that and it gave me great pleasure

He sounds like a right catch, I'd be tossing him back. How does he expect you to mange loosing so much money ? Why does he currently not pay for anything ? When my stepdad stayed over ( a loony long time ago) my mum wouldn't allow him to pay for anything so he used to go to the shops and buy bags of "crap" biscuits, pop, crisps etc eventually my mum let him buy food as she was so annoyed about how much he spent on it rather tan. Real food.

Get rid.
And make sure you get maintenance for the baby this time.

I have reported to HMRC but doesn't look like it's been followed up, nothing seems to of changed

Prepare yourself for him potentially getting emotional when he realises you're serious.
Will probably dribble on about not being able to see his ds due to his housing situation too.

He isn't your responsibility, don't waver op!

Give it time catflap these things can take weeks/ months.

Just don't tell him about hrmc, even if he is an arse it's best to be as amicable as possible with a baby coming, that sort of thing would be a massive betrayal in his eyes as he wouldn't look at the background.