18yo Santa visit

[sequinsequins]

We are in an unusual position in that 18yo DSS still sticks to the access rota to the absolute letter. This weekend is an access weekend, and the only day we managed to get tickets for the santa train we go to every year with 4yo DS. I had (naively it turns out) assumed that an 18yo would not want to come to see santa. It turns out I was wrong, and he does. And let's not assume this is about wanting to see DS excited or similar - this is the same DSS who didn't turn up to see DS on his birthday, as it wasn't an access weekend (he lives 3 miles away so no issue there). He will come with us and traipse along, taking any possible joy out of the day.

This is never ending and quite frankly gets me down.

Totally agree: it's all utter bollocks!

Now let's all drink (more) wine .....

THE RODNEY PHENONEMON

LIVING THE DREAM except for Rodney

.

Then isn't it time dad and son had a talk about how often they'd like to see each other? Dad can say more often, and fingers x'd son will say the same and then it's a case of working out how to do that.

You can bring in the concept of it being more flexible, like hopping on the bus of an evening and coming over for tea and dad will give a lift home.

Do dad and son communicate at all part from on visits? Presumably they text or speak I the phone?

I think teenage boys find it difficult to relate to their dads. My son never said he wanted to do anything with me but any time I offered he was up or anything. Food, theatre, air shows, karting. It was just about spending time together.

Guys don't do coffee and cake. Cut down a tree or decorate a room with his help, give him something to share he might feel he's contributed to?

Sequins, I have only recently found this thread so cannot contribute much as it seems every stone has been unturned and certainly your 2-3 recent posts confirm you have tried everything. Just feel for you, I really do. All you can wish for is that Cupid's Arrow finds your DSS at college/Uni and it changes his outlook and horizons.

I think it may be a combination of teenage apathy and a wee bit of depression with his DM's controlling manipulative behaviour playing a part in stopping DSS from grasping life by the throat and getting out there and doing it.

Could your DH treat him to driving lessons? Feeling a sense of achievement might make him more confident. I remember my first set of wheels was the making of me and turned me from a shrinking violet into the social powerhouse I am today (only kidding about that bit!) but it did open my horizons hugely.

Failing all else, how about a parrot that you could train to say "bollocks, are you still 'ere??"