I've asked MNHQ...

[ChinaCupsandSaucers]

.....if we can have a little 'note' at the top of the Stepparenting board, with a list of acronyms that cause offence - to ensure that posters get support and threads aren't sidetracked by inadvertent use of common phrases that are less welcome here on MN;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/1811572-Board-notes

Excuse the additional 'of' should read 'complex variety....'

deep is that an answer to my question?

Thankfully (or not) for me I no longer have any dealings with my SCs - they are all banned from my house and contact with my children.

We shall shortly be moving and they won't know where we are.

They have - with the full encouragement of their mother - physically and or emotionally abused me and my children for the last 10 years and dh and I stood by them because they are victims of emotional abuse themselves and as their father he is responsible for them no matter how they behave.

Now though finally they are all adults and I am free of them.

What an oddbod sounding link to make, poor children, living in a chaotic life with these jumping to conclusion leaps, and whining sounding individuals who admit they don't think things through before jumping into situations. God love the children.

deep seriously are you drunk or taking drugs because your posts make absolutely no sense at all.

God love you psychocunt.

See the thing is - I am well aware that my experiences are not the norm - being an ex wife myself - I know most ex wives are perfectly sane loving normal people doing the best parenting job they can do in the circumstances life places them in.

It would be highly foolish of me to generalise and think all ex wives are insane. However you seem to make sweeping statement in an incoherent fashion about step mothers as a group.

I think I understand what deep meant.

I'm guessing it was that using that term is the sort of thing you would expect to hear from xyz not that everyone who uses it is xyz.

Much the same as the term sperm donor used to describe a involved father is the sort of thing you would expect to hear from someone who was not especially decent.

deep I'm sorry - I really don't understand? Perhaps I'm wording my posts poorly and not communicating what I mean?

I fully appreciate that you have a contribution that I really would like to understand, and I'm keen to hear more in order to help understand my own situation.

From your posts, I think I've worked out that you disagree with use of the term BM (which is the consensus on this thread all be it for different reasons).
You seem to believe that Stepmums have a pretty tough deal but that as it was clear how it was going to be before 'we' got involved with a man with DCs, we can't whine about how awful our lives are. I think I've worked out that one of the things that you believe that Stepmums have to put up with is the fact that 'we' will always be second-best and lower down our DPs priority list than the mum of his first children?

Am I right, so far?

Your perfect.

Sock, yes.

deep Excellent - not so far out then!

I'd appreciate your advice as to what I should do in my own situation - because my DP doesn't give his first wife (who he refers to as his exWife) priority over me, and he treats my DD (his DSD) equally to his own.
Should I LTB because he's making my life as a SM more comfortable than it should be - and he clearly doesn't respect the mother of his DCs the way he should?

Cupandsaucer, not quite what I was thinking. I would have thought it was obvious going into a broken family situation would be a challenge. You say you didn't think before, I imagine some were attracted to the drama and potential for negativity and to look perfect, judge others and whine.

I had not responded to you before you posted a second time cupandsaucer.

I've been away from mumsnet far too long. This thread has been quite cathartic. I'm in the bath and "I feel ffffrrreeeeee" is playing in my head :).

I'd forgotten how entertaining (and utterly predictable) a good old mumsnet stepmum bashing can be

Cupandsaucer, you and your do need to look in the heart of his child and see what it does to them to see him treat you like your superior to their Mums expence. I imagine your causing harm.

Why does it cause harm to treat your wife and her child with respect?

Apparently he doesn't treat his childs mother with the respect he should, to prove something to cup, the child and child's Mum. If you can't see that damaging a child, I suggest dp has a definate type and you seek the help you suggest the first wife seeks.

She doesn't say that at all - she said he doesn't prioritise his ex wife - that's not the same as not respecting his ex wife.

Go back and read cups post, you are wrong, she said he clearly doesn't respect his dc's Mum,. God love your step children, sigh.

My stepson is a paedophile so I very much doubt god loves him.