When you dislike your step-children for no real reason

[Gerz]

I am currently in the process of moving out with my own DC as I KNOW I am being mean, unreasonable, a bitch etc.
I have also name-changed for the same reason!

I just wonder if anyone can offer a psychological explanation for the way I am feeling towards my step-daughter (13).

When I first met her, I liked her. She seemed quiet and sweet. But the more time I spent with her, the more she would wind me up. She would slag off my son, saying he will be a doley drop out etc and that he will never get a girlfriend because he's too ugly. I put it down to jealousy and tried to let it go but deep down I really started to dislike her.

It's got to the point now where I can't stand her near me. When I hear her bedroom door open, my heart sinks. If she sits near me I have to move away because she always smells awful (never gets a shower). I hate the way she speaks, I hate the way she eats, I hate the way she walks. I get so annoyed when she clings to DP like a two year old and when DP tries to big up something she's done I have to really try hard to hide my lack of interest. The way I see it she's lazy, bitchy and manipulative.

I KNOW I am being unreasonable and for all of our sakes, I am moving out but WHY am I such a nasty step parent? I don't mean to me. She just annoys me so much without even trying to.

I'll never get with anyone with kids again.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? what causes it???

When I started dating his father all of that began to change, and I think he became very jealous there was someone else getting his father's time and attention
You got your answer there. He had a good pleasant life with his dad, hid dad happy to give him his full attention, then you can in and when you are just new into the scene, you demand changes that only penalised him. Did you really expect him to welcome you in his, life under these circumstances?

It sounds like you treated him like the enemy from the start and he responded by doing the same. You've locked yourself in a relationship of conflict with your oh stuck on the middle referring, and doing a bad job at it.

On the end, it's your choice whether you want another X years of this but don't expecting to get any better if you do.

@Beth26Bet I think you should be honest with your partner. You are only human anyone would find your situation very hard.
It all sounds very difficult.
Sadly at your stepsons age it will be really hard to correct his behaviour, but if you can be open with your partner on your feelings he can see how its effecting your relationship.
I actually think its really damaging for a child to think that the whole world revolves around them. Its not healthy at all and can leave them struggling in the real world as they get older. My stepson has this problem and even says how at his own home with his Mum he wishes she never had his siblings as he doesnt like them and wants to be an only child again.
Sometimes people dont really think about how they are bringing their kids up until they get older and the behaviour starts getting worse and worse your partner really needs to get some help now for your stepson.

Its simple you don't like her as she is a asshole.

End of the day coming out with things like that to your son is assholery behaviour that never gets better how old they get. At about 80 its even worse as they loose social awareness.

Its real!! my father was like this.

This thread is 9 years old.

I will miss my dsc but I'm looking forward to more space

@Beth26Bet

My advice:

Sit down with a pen and paper and divide it in half. On one half write ‘Relationship Pros’ and on the other half write ‘Relationship Cons’. Be brutally honest and write down everything for both sides. Then take some time out and go back to your list and see what it’s telling you. It’ll either be ‘this is worth staying for’ or ‘this is not worth staying for’. Either way, you’ll have your answer.

Good luck