The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

FurrySlipperBoots you tell me, that's what I thought when it first happened, but it's coming from the bumps on the areola, not the nipple itself. The milk came in as normal from the nipple and dried up at the appropriate time.

Posted upthread under a different name but have just remembered another beauty. I had what felt like a blocked pore on my lower lash line, but was too nervous to attempt squeezing. It didn't look bad, so I left it alone. One morning my lower eyelid was quite sore, so I rubbed my eye and instantly felt the pressure subside as something popped out. On my finger was a perfectly spherical, but bright yellow waxy lump, about the size of a grain of rice. I ran downstairs and showed it to DP who pretended to be disgusted, but I know deep down he was as fascinated as I was. It never returned, much to my dismay.

@BastardMozzies I found the thread! Fuck me, that was impressive, did they heal up ok?

Sorry I don't know how to link but it's worth searching for!

BastardMozzies alien invasion:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a3565872-A-E-Help-This-is-truly-disgusting?msgid=86495808&postsby=BastardMozzies&fromid=86495808

Someone on that thread suggested you namechange Surely your name's a proudly worn badge of honour BastardMozzies?!

Oh god I can't believe I'm about to say this..... but one day I was in the shower, washing v thoroughly. I was soaking my vulva and my bum when I felt something.... jaggy. I pulled it, and a 3 inch long, thick blade of grass made its way out my bum. I felt the full thing and to this day am utterly bemused as to how it got there.

My DD had her BCG jab at about 9 months old and after a couple of weeks the site of the injection had developed into a large (base about the size of a 5p), squishy mound which was translucent with a greenish tinge. Obviously I knew what I wanted to do but my DH (not a fellow sporner) made me promise not to touch it and to call the Dr. I dutifully did and described the situation. Imagine my glee when the Dr instructed that I should carefully drain the site if I felt like I could
DH said he’s never seen me so delighted! That thing filled up every day for a week and DD seemed completely oblivious to me squeezing all the green ooze out of it. Ah lovely memories.....

Not my body, but my squeezing. I was a student nurse, left to do a dressing on an old mans back, noticed an massive old blackhead, I asked him about it, he said he had had it for 30 years but his wife wouldn't ever squeeze it. Obviously I offered to help him out. What follows was 20 mins of sheer joy, it was a double headed fountain of solid pus that came out with such satisfying squeezing. It didn't hurt him and he encouraged me to keep going. I left him with a bit of a crater where this thing had been collecting for decades. This happened 27 years ago . I remember it like yesterday and speak of it often (to like minded people!)

I remember bastards thread. Don't ever Google mango fly at breakfast time

I just read it. Great story but utterly horrific.

I had a back tooth removed and it had a hole in it and came out in pieces. 10 months later felt like I had a spot on my gum where it had healed over. It itched so started scratching it with my fingernail and eventually realised I was hooking onto something. It was like an iceberg - large shard of tooth under the skin. I managed to get it out with some coercion. Healed up again really quickly but I still think about it fondly.

Friend’s mum found a ball bearing in friend’s back as a teenager. Thought it was a spot/blackhead.

I had a red angry spot on my stomach which I noticed just before going to a party. The dress I was wearing was sort of ruched at the front and it rubbed at this thing all evening, and I couldn't wait to get home and have a go at it. I duly squeezed, felt it go with a nice satisfying pop, looked down and saw a spot exactly the same shape and size as had been there before - but this was now the contents of the spot on the outside, not the inside. Somehow that was as satisfying as losing the soreness.

@captainpantbeard has reminded me. I had a deep crater where an upper wisdom tooth was removed almost 30 years ago. Nightmare as it was a trap for food so I had to have a little tufted brush to flick the contents out not as often as I shouldor it was uncomfortable and stunk. Then a few years ago when I stuck my tongue in the hole I could feel hard bits - wasnt sure if it was the boney socket or bits of retained tooth. Then

Recently I realised that the hole had closed up. Disappointingly I hadn't noticed anything falling out, but I assume that after all these it had done!

I had a sore eye, and when I looked I could see a small stye so assumed was just that. Saw the pharmacist and they gave me some eye drops. Over the next couple of days the area around my eye kept getting harder amd more swollen. I did some googling and it recommended hot compresses as hot as could stand and gently massaging the hard area. I kept doing that, by the weekend I was feeling rubbish, the hardness and swelling felt like it was taking over the entire side of my face and I was planning on seeing the Dr the next week.
When I was massaging it there was a definite crack and pop sound and pus came pouring out from the under bit of my eye. I gave it a good wash and then pulled it down to look and you could see a burst spot there.

About 15 years ago I found a plum sized lump on the right side of my left breast. My sister in law had just died of breast cancer and I was hysterical thinking I had cancer too. My husband was trying to comfort and reassure me. He had a feel and then implored me to give it a squeeze. I did and at first nothing happen, then suddenly it erupted into a glorious jet of yellow pus (all over the bed - yuck!).
It's never refilled completely but I do get a little cheesy worm out of it every couple of months

I mentioned this on a thread once about someone who found a lipstick in her washing machine that wasn’t hers ... it was a bit of an unexpected response I think.
I had a solid lump on my head under my hair but it was tiny, the size of a garden pea. It was there for years and didn’t bother me so I let it be. I scratched it one day after about 10 years (I was 17) and I felt a pop, my hand was covered in blood but my head didn’t hurt and in my hand was a tiny bit perfect seashell like a conch but tiny, gutted that I lost it.
I suffered from horrendous tonsillitis as a child that would occur once every 12 weeks easily and it affected my sinuses too. I was scheduled for them to be removed and the surgeon wanted to X-ray me because he’d never seen tonsils so big. Off I go for a head X-ray but instead of going straight home we were called into the surgeons office and he rummaged in my nose with some tools and pulled out a length of red plastic beads. My mam, the surgeon and I were all giggling like loons. Surgeon fella said he had never ever encountered anything like it before.

What a glorious thread. There was an article in The Guardian yesterday, "A Magot hatched from my head" that I'm sure you'd all appreciate. Lots more sporny stories in the comments section too if you don't mind the flesh invading bugs type of thing

Adding mine before I go back and finish reading everyone else's stories.

My most memorable random ones were having a large spot in my pubic area. It was really hard and just wouldn't squeeze properly then one night in bed it finally went, and a small (probably 4mm) hard yellow hall came out leaving a perfectly empty tiny crater behind.

Next one was finding a pea-sized lump on my right boob. I was starting to panic and had just asked my nurse friend how urgently should I get it seen when I squeezed it extra hard and a stream of pus flew sideways across the bathroom.

I've also been very prone to those Bartholin's cysts (first time I've learned the name for them though so thank you!) I can often pop them before they're too big but I once had a tenacious one that just wouldn't pop. DH and I were out for a meal and I went to the bathroom, thankfully after we were done eating. The elastic of my undies snagged against it (it felt almost golf ball size by this point) and as I sat down I felt it totally explode into the toilet with the most amazing feeling of relief. I thankfully had my bag with me so had to rummage for my phone to text DH to tell him why I was stuck in the bathroom. I ended up having to shove a large wad of loo roll into my undies and we had a pub crawl home (DH was happy with that) because I needed to go check it in the bathroom so regularly I didn't want to stay in one place for too long.

I forgot to add my all time favourite one to my post. Oops.

DH had what looked like a pore of winer on his back, he wouldn't let me touch it at all, he wouldn't even let me put a bit of mag sulph paste on it.

He ended up with a large infected abscess in the area. He was put on antibiotics by the nurse at the GP but she also recommended mag sulph and me draining it regularly for him. He may have told her how much I'd been itching to get my hands on it.

Then started weeks of our daily routine which was utter bliss for me. I would have to remove the previous dressing, clean it up, squeeze out sooooooo much really stinky pus, sometimes it was thick and yellow, sometimes it was runnier and yellow, very occasionally there was a green tinge and sometimes a little blood but that was usually after all the "good" pus came out and by that point DH was sore and we cleaned it up for the day. I'd then clean it all up again, then reapply the mag sulph and finally the dressing.

He ended up having to have a couple of rounds of antibiotics as it was really that big and horrible but they were happy with how I had been treating it and I'm rather sad it's gone now. He's been left with a weird dent in his back where it was.

I have SO many photos of it as I would show DH what it looked like before and after each day but he's banned me from ever showing them (he specifically said I wasn't to put them here as he knew how much I loved lurking in Sporners Corner for videos ). So I would love to share but can't.

@LeeluTheNarwhal

My! What beautiful writing .. I Thoroughly enjoyed that

[quote feelingsadtoday2021]@LeeluTheNarwhal

My! What beautiful writing .. I Thoroughly enjoyed that [/quote]
Thank you I'm annoyed at myself after seeing the little typo thanks to autocorrect, it always strikes on the words I don't expect it to.

I probably do have more stories to share but I'm in awe after reading so many of the posts before mine now. This is why I love Sporners Corner.

When DD was 5 she suddenly got a spot inside her ear canal that filled the hole in her ear. After 2 lots of anti-biotics it had reduced in size but there was still a bump there.

A couple of weeks later it looked a bit shiny/wet, so I got a cotton bud and very gently wiped across the top of it. OMG! There was a splat and a trail of pus up my entire arm - about 3 feet long. Then I wiped it again, and more came out. In fact, I could stroke her neck from the very bottom, by her shoulder, up to her ear, and more pus came out several times. The spot must have reached down her ear canal for at least 4 or 5 inches.

Amazingly, she had never once complained of it hurting.

When I was 10 years I went to Kenya on holiday. I had a great time but near the end of the trip I found that my head became incredibly itchy. I scratched at it constantly which combined with the heat and with my constant forays into the swimming pool led to me getting a bright red abscess, the circumference of a ping pong ball on my head. Soon it started oozing foul smelling yellow pus.
My parents completely freaked out, thinking I’d caught some tropical disease, and as soon as we got home I was hauled off to visit our doctor. He identified that I had a patch of infected ringworm. l had a habit of chatting to the horses at school whilst putting my head on their necks and must have caught it this way. Anyway, The doctor lanced it, which was incredibly painful but cleared a lot of yellowy green gunk out. Following this, and for about a month afterwards, it had to be squeezed clean daily by my mum as the pus refilled. I cried in pain every time.
I had to wear a dressing for ages and my hair fell out in the spot the abscess had been. The healed area was incredibly velvet soft. When the hair did grow it was corkscrew curly (the other hair on my head was completely straight!).

When the hair did grow it was corkscrew curly (the other hair on my head was completely straight!).

How was your mum with sporn? It would be upsetting to have to do something to your child that hurt them so much they cried, but I do hope she wasn't disgusted too. I guess the hair follicles were bent by the infection; the more bent the curlier the hair.

How was your mum with sporn? It would be upsetting to have to do something to your child that hurt them so much they cried, but I do hope she wasn't disgusted too.

Oh she was in her element - she was the type of mum who would rugby tackle you to the ground to give your blackheads a good going over 😂

@rosegoldivy
That looks like the clots you get after a nosebleed- I get to see these about once a week in children prone to nosebleeds once the weather gets warmer- I suspect u had a bleed higher up your nose and it clotted itself and that’s what you grabbed