Got a question about helping your child’s emotional and cognitive development? Dr Kilbey answers your questions - £200 voucher to be won

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Created for Barbie

This Q&A is now closed, read answers below

      - Everyone who shares a question on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw
      - One lucky Mumsnet user will win a <strong>£200 voucher</strong> for a store of their choice (from a list)
      - Dr Elizabeth will be back on 15th November to answer a selection of your questions

About Dr Elizabeth:
Dr Elizabeth is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, specialising in working with children and young people. She works predominantly with children with complex neuro-developmental difficulties including Autism, ADHD and Learning Disabilities. Dr Elizabeth was the resident on-screen expert on Channel 4’s The Secret Life of 4, 5 & 6 Year olds and provided insight into the behaviour and psychological world of the children.

Here’s what Barbie have to say:
“We’ve always known that playing with dolls has a positive impact on children, but up until now, we’ve not had neuroscientific data that demonstrates these benefits. We teamed up with Cardiff University to investigate the benefits of play on children’s development. The findings of this research highlight that playing with dolls, such as Barbie, offers positive benefits in preparing children for the future through nurturing social skills like empathy. As we continue to inspire the limitless potential in every child, we are proud to offer dolls that encourage these skills.”

So whether you have a question about what you can do to help your children develop empathy, or how important is this for their emotional development and overall well being, post your question on this thread for Dr Elizabeth to answer.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

My 18 mo doesn't make eye contact, should I be worried?

I would like to know about ways to improve cognitive skills through play.

My child is very shy at school yet at home she doesnt stop talking! How do i encourage her social skills through play and that she doesnt need to be shy although I know that it is completely normal for a child.

How do I keep the emotional connection with a child who is getting older and no longer needs me as much.

I was delighted to read that empathy can be learnt, having one DD who doesn't naturally display it and one who does. More than happy for it to be a life long learning lesson but how do you nurture it ongoing in an 8 year old? She has signs of HFA but we don't intend to get a diagnosis because we don't feel it would lead to support we can't give her ourselves with the right light touch professional guidance. Many thanks.

How can we encourage empathy between siblings? DS has just turned 6, DD is 2yrs.9months and they seem to alternately ignore each other or wind each other up and fight!

My 10mo is behind with communication development (no babbling. Clapping, pointing, waving or responding to his name) is there something I can do to help him catch up?

DC1 (12) is emotionally quite immature and disorganised with an auditory processing issue. She has dyslexia & dyspraxia.

She's a very bright kid, but often forgets the most basic things (eg to put her socks on, every single day).
I want to (and do) support her, but as she gets older for her own independence and self esteem she will need some alternative coping mechanisms, do you have any suggestions?

My DS seems to enjoy hurting his toys, (teddies) through smacking and shouting - we never shout and have never smacked as far as I know he has not seen this behavior at nursery (I spoke to them about it) and he does not watch any TV where he can have seen this - any suggestions ?

What is the earliest age you can get a professional diagnosis for Autism - and how long would it take ? (how many assessments are usually needed)

My 11 year old has ASD (diagnosed) and my 8 year old does get scared by his outbursts - and I also worry about his long term development due to this DS1 has no empathy after his outbursts and words he has used in anger - how would you help DS2 understanding ASD (I take him out just with me cinema and football - so he gets a lot of respite from the situation)

What is the best advice you'd give for my DS and DD who are still so worried about the virus and would rather be at home rather than school - I am still sending them - but they just want to be safe at home. School are helping, but I want to do more.

How can I utilise Barbie in learning and development? We have tons of dolls and large furnished dolls house but my daughter plays the same limited and repetitive games with them - dislikes changes offered

What advice would you give to help a 3 year old who has an anxiety about doing a poo? He holds them in for days and has a fear of doing a poo. He is otherwise potty trained.

I like helping other mums by sharing my experiences of raising up two well adjusted grown up children.Got a question?Just ask me.

Try and find out what brings that anxiety.

• Is it because his poo is normally hard and he has a bad experience?
• Is he lacking fibre in his diet? You could give him more fruits - whole fruits or blended, cooked vegetables or blended after cooking
• Give him a glass of water between meals e.g between breakfast and lunch times AND between lunch and supper.
• Create a routine if possible for it e.g maybe make him go to the toilet immediately after breakfast etc. This will help train his body when to do it. You will find a lot of resistance from him in the beginning but try to persevere and it will eventually happen.

Hope this helps. This is what I did to my two children when they were little.

@Felldownabackdonhole

What advice would you give to help a 3 year old who has an anxiety about doing a poo? He holds them in for days and has a fear of doing a poo. He is otherwise potty trained.

Try and find out what brings that anxiety.

• Is it because his poo is normally hard and he has a bad experience?
• Is he lacking fibre in his diet? You could give him more fruits - whole fruits or blended, cooked vegetables or blended after cooking
• Give him a glass of water between meals e.g between breakfast and lunch times AND between lunch and supper.
• Create a routine if possible for it e.g maybe make him go to the toilet immediately after breakfast etc. This will help train his body when to do it. You will find a lot of resistance from him in the beginning but try to persevere and it will eventually happen.

Hope this helps. This is what I did to my two children when they were little.

I have a 3mo that i am currently having to raise alone. I constantly worry that i am not doing enough for her as there is only so many times a day i can read to her / wave toys at her and she is generally not very responsive to them.

Do you have any suggestions on things i can do to add variety to her days and engage her cognitive development in these early days?

What advice for a clingy 7 year old - been WFH since last March and will soon be going back to the office part of the week. The emotional blackmail has already started.

There are so many young children with ADHD, ASD, emotional and behavioural disorders, ODD, OCD which were never heard of when I was a child, do you think society is to blame - parents spending too much time in front of their phone and using the TV or tablet as a virtual childminder - or have these spectrum of mental illnesses always been around - albeit at a lower level because parenting was different before the internet ? - is there an overdiagnosis ?

My 7 y/o is developing an eating disorder - is anxious around mealtimes, eats very little, and says he feels sick everytime he eats, I am trying to play this down, hoping that If I encourage to eat what he can, and make mealtimes calm and offer the foods he likes, small portions, and keeping it healthy - he was ok pre-lockdown - any advice is welcome (school are aware and he is sat at a quiet part of the dining room at the end of the sitting with his packed lunch)

My DD is 8 months. So much focus is on what babies can do physically, be it sitting up, crawling, pointing etc, but what should I be focusing on now to develop her emotional skills?

I worry about the effects on young children of technology when I see many parents picking up their kids from school who seem more interested in looking at their phones instead of greeting them and being pleased to see them!

What can we do to help our children negotiate social media?

My oldest is 9 and hates having to leave me. She'll cry and hang off me even when she's going somewhere that she enjoys and is familiar with.
I reassure her, have always picked her up on time, ask her why she does it but she says she doesn't know. She's slowly getting better but I'm aware that she's going to high school in less than 2 years and she can't keep doing it forever.
Do you have any tips?