Got a question about helping your child’s emotional and cognitive development? Dr Kilbey answers your questions - £200 voucher to be won

[LucyBMumsnet]

Created for Barbie

This Q&A is now closed, read answers below

      - Everyone who shares a question on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw
      - One lucky Mumsnet user will win a <strong>£200 voucher</strong> for a store of their choice (from a list)
      - Dr Elizabeth will be back on 15th November to answer a selection of your questions

About Dr Elizabeth:
Dr Elizabeth is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, specialising in working with children and young people. She works predominantly with children with complex neuro-developmental difficulties including Autism, ADHD and Learning Disabilities. Dr Elizabeth was the resident on-screen expert on Channel 4’s The Secret Life of 4, 5 & 6 Year olds and provided insight into the behaviour and psychological world of the children.

Here’s what Barbie have to say:
“We’ve always known that playing with dolls has a positive impact on children, but up until now, we’ve not had neuroscientific data that demonstrates these benefits. We teamed up with Cardiff University to investigate the benefits of play on children’s development. The findings of this research highlight that playing with dolls, such as Barbie, offers positive benefits in preparing children for the future through nurturing social skills like empathy. As we continue to inspire the limitless potential in every child, we are proud to offer dolls that encourage these skills.”

So whether you have a question about what you can do to help your children develop empathy, or how important is this for their emotional development and overall well being, post your question on this thread for Dr Elizabeth to answer.

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

DD's very beloved dad died very suddenly when she was 2 and a half. She'll be 4 in February and is doing well, but I'm very conscious that her grief will change over time as she develops emotionally. What warning signs should I be looking out for, and when might they start appearing?

My son is nearly 13 and is emotionally very immature. How can I help him in his development?

My son has an abundance of empathy, so much so that he is always putting others first. Is there a way to encourage a child to manage that, and balance their own needs and wants with the needs of others?.

When should you be concerned about a young teenager. What is the difference between wanting attention to there being something more seriously wrong?

I'd like to know if anything I can do to help my 20 month old feel more confident around people he isn't usually around (thanks to covid, he hasnt seen my family much, and hides or gets very upset when people visit/we visit others).

He is okay with video chats, says hello and bye etc, but we went to my sisters for a small Halloween party for the kids and he was just very clingy with me for about 20/3o minutes, before being able to walk around and enjoy himself, which he eventually did.

I wasnt trying to force him to people etc, just letting him go at his own pace, but he did get very upset in the car with my mum and dad.

Is there something I can do to help him feel safe and more comfortable around others? We've gone to baby group and he is fine there?

What sort of age should I expect my little boy to start acknowledging his peers more? Still very focused on being close to me instead of playing and interacting with others.

If playing with dolls is good for kids' social skills, does the same go for cuddly toys that are non-human but model human interactions?

My son who is 4 is very confident and has strong opinions over who he chooses to play with, I worry he doesn't consider other children's feelings sometimes, and they may end up getting upset. How can I teach him to include everyone in his play?

Does playing with or being surrounded by toys that idealize unrealistic or overly sexual body types impact development of a child's (especially a girls' - given our culture) self esteem or body image?

Do toys that have been sold with accessories like the ones here, help girls develop empathy or anorexia?

My little boy is 4 and has always been frightened of being alone. At bed time we have books and talk about the day we have had then he goes off to sleep. Once he is alseep we head off for our evening either downstairs or in our own room. The problem is he then wakes up crying when he realised we are gone. We don't want to stop staying with him at bed time. He clearly needs us. But he has so much anxiety about being alone. He won't stay in any room on his own. Even the toilet in the daytime with the light on he finds frightening. He gets very emotional about it. How can I reassure him that there is nothing to be frightened off. Can I do anything using play that will help him to feel more confident or is this just a time thing and one day he will just feel more confident in himself?

If our kids play with dolls that are supposed to be real people, do they gain empathy by seeing that someone powerful and athletic can still be portrayed as valuable and worthy of emulating if we smooth out their skin and trim their muscles away?

Do dolls that portray vaguely normal body shapes help develop empathy by giving kids ways to describe these people like "curvy"? Or is it the focus on looks and fashion that really pushes the empathy development?

Barbie fashionista, curvy with long, dark waves.

Hi.
My 5 year old daughter is the eldest in her class. She’s still extremely shy and tends to cling on to mummy. She only plays with two other friends at school and doesn’t mix. What can I do to increase her confidence a little please? Thabks

I'm often worried that my child doesn't get enough interaction with anyone besides me and his dad. We don't have a big support network and he doesn't see other children his age except for at soft play or baby classes. Is this something to worry about much for a child of 14 months?

Hi. My 8 year old daughter is struggling with girls at school kicking her, pushing and generally being mean. I've explained she has to tell the teacher, and tell the girls no. She is a gentle soul, and Daddy says she should kick them back, but she won't, as she doesn't like to hurt people.
How can I empower her, to assert herself at school, without having to resort to kicking back?

How do I deal with my 15 year old son? He argues everything and has an answer for everything. Very strong character.

My 6 year old has begun to have very angry outbursts, particularly at his younger brother, but also with others. How do we help him learn to prevent this and calm down when it does?

I worry about my child's influences from other children as he gets older. How can I ensure he remains kind and considerate and doesn't get led astray by peer pressure?

My DS baby was born with an undiagnosed condition that resulted in an emergency caesarian and oxygen and blood deprevation for some time possibly resulting in HIE. She has had a clear MRI, but they are worried about stiff limbs. When would signs of HIE occur as different professionals have completely different outlooks varying from no damage to definite brain damage.

Tell me about play dates. I have a list of ideas but not sure how to organise one.

@ClaraSais

Hi. My 5 year old daughter is the eldest in her class. She’s still extremely shy and tends to cling on to mummy. She only plays with two other friends at school and doesn’t mix. What can I do to increase her confidence a little please? Thabks

A useful tip, try having a sleepover or a fun old play date. Some ideas for both are listed below. You could invite a friend over for a play date at home or in a museum etc.

Play date ideas are as follows-
A cupcake baking session that is then followed by lunch and a film. Or you could host a themed play date in addition. Other good ideas include pretend play and arts and craft hours as well. Puzzles and games work quite well to improve their social skills and turn taking plus conversation too.
Alternatively you can even plan a outdoor picnic type play date. Use quiz sheets in order to liven up things for the kids. You might also consider drawing workshops and wreath making sessions additionally.

Both my six year old daughter and I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. How do I help her to give others some personal space?

I am concerned about the impact of social media - Facebook is no longer relevant to my teenager, he and his friends have moved on.

I love the fact that we see more people with visible disabilities on our screens, but I find my son who is on the autistic spectrum (no filter) will ask about people with disabilities - I want to answer his questions and head off any embarrassment in the future, is there a book, video or training material aimed at 5-8 year olds ? thanks