If you could send yourself a message in those first weeks of motherhood, what would it be? Win a £100 voucher and a Premium subscription to Calm!

[geemumsnet]

What do you remember of the very early days of motherhood? If you could send a message or share one piece of advice or encouragement with yourself at that time what would it be?

According to Calm's recent survey of over 2000 UK mums, nearly half of Mums are kept awake with stress and anxiety. That’s why Calm has teamed up with Mumsnet to support maternal mental health in the run-up to Mother’s Day.

We know motherhood can feel isolating at times (especially during those long, sleepless nights) but having a supportive community can make all the difference. That’s why we’re inviting you to be part of this conversation.

Plus, as a little thank you, everyone who comments on this thread by Friday 25th April will be in with the chance of winning an £100 VEX voucher and a Premium subscription to the Calm app. Four lucky runners-up will each win a Premium Calm subscription in our weekly prize draws! We'll be announcing winners each week. Our insight T&Cs apply .

So, if you could send a message to your past self in those first few weeks of motherhood, what would you say? Drop a comment below to share your words of encouragement and support with fellow mums!

Congratulations to @Hedgesgalore and @Bignanna who have also won a premium Calm subscription! Please check your email inbox 😊

If you're loving this thread, you'll also love our editorial all about how to manage sleep as a new mum and the power of community, here's the link! So sit down and grab a cuppa (if you manage to get 5 mins spare!) and give it a read!❤

Thank you all for your lovely messages, we'll be back soon to announce the final winner!

Congratulations winners !

Don’t bother with baby swimming. It’s a load of faff with a small baby, expensive and doesn’t make them any better swimmers when they are older. And the dunking is cruel.

Enjoy these days, they go by so quick

I am still in the thick of things with a 5 week old baby, but I’d tell myself this;
”Remember every day that she’ll never be this small again. Her cries and noises are the only communication she has and she’s trusting you with them. Trust your instincts and don’t beat yourself up if you do something ‘wrong’ or it takes a while to do her baby grow up or wind her; you’re both learning as you go. Give yourself grace and try to make sure you fill your cup up too. Rely on help when it’s offered and don’t feel guilty for it, you’d offer help too and be glad someone wanted it.”

I hated that when people told me….
Instead I’d say:

Don’t panic, these days will pass. You may not love being the mum of a newborn, a 1 year old or even a 3 year old. But you will adore hanging out with your kids as they get older, you’ll love taking them on adventures and sharing your values. You’ll be amazed when they teach you things they’ve read and when they make a great argument and make you change your mind. You’ll thrive as a mum. Don’t panic. These humans you made won’t stay babies forever.

Yes it’s so so hard but you’re doing amazing. Tell visitors to go away, look at your baby and soak in the cuteness - they change so quickly. Do what’s right for you. If you’re crying lots - get help from GP. Lots of hugs xxx

Embrace the changing you. Take loads of photos. Follow your instincts. Stay healthy, go for walks, make new mum friends. Don’t mind the advice and criticism - in through one ear out through the other. Everyone means well.

Invest in some good trainers and wellies, rain jacket, get outside as much as you can with the baby. Soak in every wonderful giggle and cuddle. They’ll be out of nappies soon.

The early days go by so quickly. Take photos so you remember. Always accept help when offered and go easy on yourself. You have just grown a human being, you are amazing.

‘Don’t worry, we’ve all been there’

A lady said this to me as I was walking down the street with new baby (many years ago!) in the pram crying and crying, I was so stressed and thought I was a terrible mum. This lady was just coming down her path as I went past, and she looked at me kindly and said ‘Don’t worry, we’ve all been there’, in a matter of fact way, not patronising. It made me feel so much less alone and scared. I didn’t know her and she’ll never know how much she helped!

Hang on in there, it will get easier.

Not all babies cry when they need a nappy change. Yours won't.

When your newborn is crying, try feeding her again, even if you last fed her five minutes ago.

Sometimes, babies keep on crying, even when you think you've tried everything. Even scientists don't fully understand why. Every night, in the early hours, your baby will scream for 1-2 hours. After going through the usual checklist, you might find it helpful to assume that your baby is in discomfort (possibly due to trapped wind). This can stop you feeling frustrated with her.

Regarding babies, the days are long, but the years are short. You can do this.

Congratulations to the winner of the voucher and Calm Premium prize @onemorerose ! A big thank you to everyone who joined this wonderful discussion, it’s been a joy reading all your kind and supportive comments, I'm sure new mums will deeply appreciate these words!

Reach out for support if you need it re breast feeding. I had blood shooting out from my nipples.... Was rectified with antibiotic cream, all better in a day or two. Also be aware of urine retention after the birth. Seek medical help immediately if this happens.

It will get better and you will remember these times as your strength building times which enable you to cope so well with the different challenges you are presented with as they grow up! This is your training for a better and fuller life enabling you to embrace even the tough times as you know you will cope. You have got this💪🏿

This too will pass. And quickly - the days are long but the years are short

The tiredness, the crying (both you and your baby), the sudden snapping at your partner, the anxiety and the fear, the overwhelming love... Those things don't come as a surprise. What will come as a surprise is the joy and the fun you'll discover with your kid. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that. No amount of exposure to other children can desensitise you to the way your child will bring you joy. So, white knuckle through the newborn trenches and just you wait... The joy is going to knock you off your feet. And one day, and maybe not everyday, but surely one day you're going to look forward to him waking up in the middle of the night just so you can cuddle him.

Hello @geemumsnet I can see you have awarded prizes for the Calm subscription - who won the VEX voucher please ?

Hi @pushchairprincess thanks for your participation. The final winner won the VEX voucher prize and Calm premium subscription : "Congratulations to the winner of the voucher and Calm Premium prize @onemorerose"