If you could send yourself a message in those first weeks of motherhood, what would it be? Win a £100 voucher and a Premium subscription to Calm!

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What do you remember of the very early days of motherhood? If you could send a message or share one piece of advice or encouragement with yourself at that time what would it be?

According to Calm's recent survey of over 2000 UK mums, nearly half of Mums are kept awake with stress and anxiety. That’s why Calm has teamed up with Mumsnet to support maternal mental health in the run-up to Mother’s Day.

We know motherhood can feel isolating at times (especially during those long, sleepless nights) but having a supportive community can make all the difference. That’s why we’re inviting you to be part of this conversation.

Plus, as a little thank you, everyone who comments on this thread by Friday 25th April will be in with the chance of winning an £100 VEX voucher and a Premium subscription to the Calm app. Four lucky runners-up will each win a Premium Calm subscription in our weekly prize draws! We'll be announcing winners each week. Our insight T&Cs apply .

So, if you could send a message to your past self in those first few weeks of motherhood, what would you say? Drop a comment below to share your words of encouragement and support with fellow mums!

I thought I’d bake while the baby just slept! I had no clue obviously.
she did not sleep much and it was all encompassing. A big shock.

It absolutely is all encompassing! I’m not sure that I would have listened if someone had told me this though🙄I would still have learnt the hard way🥴

Ha ha yes if someone had said no chance would I be creating these marvellous cakes and breads I would’ve thought don’t be silly of course i will.

As it turned out I cheered if I got a hot meal or managed to drink a hot drink.

My tips are to if mum offers to take baby for a couple of hours - the housework can wait, your sleep deprivation cannot.

To be a mother is to be a lone

Sudocrem - in vast quantities, keep it at room temperature. Soothes ezcema and prevents nappy rash better than any other product.

You're doing a fantastic job.

Nobody ever heard of teenager who likes to sleep with their parents.

It doesn't matter what you look like, that your hairs not done, that you've got your joggers on, that you feel like crap and that you're still in shock, that you are self conscious, get the baby in a pram, get your big coat on and get out of the house, go for a walk. Enjoy it, it gets easier and it's OK to ask for help.

Go back to work part-time. Do not become a full-time SAHM, no matter how much you dream of it. It is a poisoned chalice. You need some WOH for your mental health.

This is very much a message to myself, with 20:20 hindsight and the experience of PND.

Oh yes, and don't bother trying to be the best mum you can. That's another poisoned chalice. It leads to over-thinking, over-controlling, stress and more depression. Just be good enough.

It takes a village…..don’t be afraid to lean on those around you for support. Be it family, friends, neighbours or the strangers in the street.

I would say cherish every single second. Newborn babies are very special and It doesn’t get any better than this.
I think I followed this advice and I loved every minute of being a new mum but wish someone had prepared me for teenage and adult children years.

There is no such thing as a perfect mum.

I tied myself up in knots worrying about doing the right thing.
As long as their basic needs are met, they are loved and treated kindly and with respect, nature has a lot of influence and there is very little that you actually do, that makes a huge difference.

In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff!

Hi Mumsnetters! Just checking in again to say thank you so much for your kind words on this thread, it's a wonderful read.❤

Congratulations to @lyricalwindmills who's our 2nd winner for a premium Calm subscription! Please check your inbox for an email from us.

Many thanks,
Georgia

-Mumsnet client services executive

Don't be afraid to talk about what you are feeling to family/friends. Reach out to other new mums and friends. Don't expect to be super mum. Ready meals and taking one step/one day at a time is key.

Sleep when they do, they won't die if you don't bath them daily and the dust doesn't get any thicker after 4 years.

You really don't need to get out of your pajamas

You can do this. Asking for help is ok, not knowing it all is ok, a day on the sofa watching terrible movies and snuggling is ok. But I promise, you can do this and you will, one day at a time.

take your baby out in the fresh air as much as possible - good for both of you.

We're all making it up as we go along. No one really knows what they are doing 😁. Sing to them even if you can't hold a single note they dont care!

Don't let doctors fob you off when your still bleeding very heavily 8 weeks later. Finally when I was taken serious, I was haemorrhaging so badly I needed 3 pints of blood plus surgery to remove the baby they had missed.

Postpartum is rough - its not spoke about enough but it's normal. Its absolutely okay to cry, feel anxious, feel sad & blue, feel scared, feel like the worst mum (but I promise you, you are doing absolutely amazing) etc but please talk to someone so they know how you feel/can keep an eye it doesn't turn into depression.

Make sure you shower, go for little walks and just sit back and snuggle your baby a lot. You can NOT hold them too much- ignore anyone who says otherwise. Just enjoy them and honestly the washing/cleaning can all wait.

Do not run around after any guests (and only have them visit when YOU feel up to it), this is the one time they can help you out so if someone offers to do some washing/brings food/hoovers you say - yes please.

Be prepared for nap trapping. Have easy one handed drinks and snax ready for you.

That it is not at all unusual to feel lonely and alone. That the baby crying doesn't mean you are a terrible mum. That the other new mums will just be glad to see you,.they won't mind if your house is a bit chaotic,.they are looking for company too.

And also, and this is probably unique to me but still relevant I think - the reason you struggle to hold your baby is not because you are weak or useless or lazy but because you have a neurological condition but the doctors haven't realised it yet.

And that your baby is crying because he is in pain from allergies, and you are doing your best for him and he knows that and feels loved and this howling grump of a baby will turn into the most delightful toddler, preschooler, child and teenager

Haha yes I loved the baby /toddler years when they adored me singing to them! The only time I have had an appreciative audience for my singing

You don’t know what you’re doing but neither does the baby! You’re in the same club. And he thinks you’re the whole world.