If you could send yourself a message in those first weeks of motherhood, what would it be? Win a £100 voucher and a Premium subscription to Calm!

[geemumsnet]

What do you remember of the very early days of motherhood? If you could send a message or share one piece of advice or encouragement with yourself at that time what would it be?

According to Calm's recent survey of over 2000 UK mums, nearly half of Mums are kept awake with stress and anxiety. That’s why Calm has teamed up with Mumsnet to support maternal mental health in the run-up to Mother’s Day.

We know motherhood can feel isolating at times (especially during those long, sleepless nights) but having a supportive community can make all the difference. That’s why we’re inviting you to be part of this conversation.

Plus, as a little thank you, everyone who comments on this thread by Friday 25th April will be in with the chance of winning an £100 VEX voucher and a Premium subscription to the Calm app. Four lucky runners-up will each win a Premium Calm subscription in our weekly prize draws! We'll be announcing winners each week. Our insight T&Cs apply .

So, if you could send a message to your past self in those first few weeks of motherhood, what would you say? Drop a comment below to share your words of encouragement and support with fellow mums!

Accept help from day 1.
Ignore the 'its a phase' because the phases roll into one, there is no respite. 18 yrs if you are lucky.
Perfect parents do not exist and It's marketing bullshit to make you feel guilty that your life is now crap.
Make sure you have no more, contraception needs to be rock solid. Do not give in to the DS needs siblings. They won't like each other anyway.
Adoption is an option

You may gather it did not go well for me! 😅
PND stole 18 5 years of my life.

Sleep when the baby sleeps, if possible. A rested mum is a happier one.

Don’t give yourself a hard time if you try to breastfeed and it doesn’t work out. And don’t let the do-gooder breastapo brigade make you feel guilty about it. And don’t feel like you have to have visitors until you are ready for them.

You don't need to clean your house for visitors when baby is sleeping - go to bed and rest yourself - turn your phone off - and if need be put a note on your door saying please do not disturb.

It’s really hard right now and you feel like you’re trapped in some weird alternate reality. But it does get better and eventually you will love your life again.

You will also grow to love your child as much as everyone else says they do - just because that besotted love wasn’t there instantly does not make you a bad person or a bad mother. Give yourself time and grace. It will come! One day you’ll watch her running along the street towards you and you will realise you have never been so happy or in love with anyone else.

You WILL sleep again.

It's ok for baby to wear a babygrow for the first 3 months - it's a waste of time and energy washing and ironing all of those tiny outfits

Don't compare yourself to Instagram mums. It's not real.

Find mum friends.

Be proud of yourself, you grew a human and are keeping it alive! That's absolutely amazing. Baby doesn't care if you don't put the dishwasher on, take them to baby ballet yoga etc they just think you are the most incredible thing they've ever seen and you know what they are right you are bloody fabulous.

Also, did you poo your pants today? No. Then let's call it a good day.

Its okay not to move very far or do very much. If you just want to stay at home with your baby recovering, that's absolutely fine. Take all the time you need.

Please please please stop the excessive tracking of breastfeeding and for the love of you stop! Breastfeeding isn’t working. You are in pain and constantly torturing yourself. If you are crying in both physical and mental pain every time you feed your child; stop.
(I bf for 10 months and for 10 months it was excruciating)

No one cares about your baby as much as you do and they really are not interested in sleep cycles, weight, percentiles, photos etc etc. stop banging on about your PB and talk about something else!

Somehow I don’t think the voucher is winging its way to you!

Wow, what wonderful heart-felt messages! Thank you so much everyone for leaving your message of support, and please do keep them coming. Whether you're a new mum or an empty-nester, we hope these reassuring words can resonate with you ❤

Our first lucky winner for a premium Calm subscription is @HappySheldon ! Congratulations! Please check your email for a message from us.

Calm is supporting maternal mental well-being through community and sleep support, providing tools for rest and relaxation. Click here to explore Calm's Postpartum Healing practices.

We'll be announcing 4 more winners each week so stay tuned!

YOU CAN DO THIS! Don't be scared, embrace the challenge, revel in the joyful moments, be open about the tough ones! Accept the help that's offered & sleep -whenever you can, the washing up can wait, as can the laundry - everything seems easier when your body has had a chance to rest!

If I could start again with my DC's knowing what I know now AND having more confidence to speak my mind - I would make visitors and family aware that I need to put my MH and my baby first for the first few weeks, and will visit them - and they should not visit me.

Slow down.

You don't need to go visiting people, you need to recover and get to know your baby.

There’s not anything wrong with you if you don’t feel a magical rush of love the minute they are born; love and close attachment will build over time.

Ask for help if you need it.

Don’t aim for perfectionist standards; good enough is good enough.

Inform yourself but then trust your own instincts.

Relax and remember to treasure the good moments. Parenthood is a marathon not a sprint!

Cherish every moment, even the bad times. They won't last forever and one day you will look back and miss it all

Take photos, buy a thermal coffee cup and a long charger and don’t sweat the small stuff

The constant wake - ups are torture but you will sleep again at some point

Advice is just advice- and you will get lots of it- but just do what’s right for to and your baby.

STOP IRONING MUSLINS.
Actually, stop ironing, full stop.

You are only human!

It’s ok to use a bottle. You haven’t failed.