Mumsnet users share their experience of their child moving up to secondary school with O2

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Sending your children off to secondary school can feel like a milestone in your child's life and a big step as a parent. It's likely also a time where your child is seeking more independence, leading you to wonder "is it alright to...?" on a regular basis. With this in mind, O2 would like to hear about your experience or concerns about your child moving up to secondary school.

Here’s what O2 has to say: “#IsItAlright to let them use a tablet at breakfast? We hear you. Parenting is full of #IsItAlright questions, challenges and dilemmas. That’s why we’ve launched O2 Family, to bring advice, safety tools and kid-friendly offers to parents across the UK. We don’t pretend to have all the answers. But hopefully we make it a little easier to navigate the everyday messy magic of family life."

September will see a whole new start for loads of kids around the country and parents have to adjust too. Whether you're about to do it, or remember it well, how do you cope with your child making the move to secondary school? Are you giving them the independence of doing their homework without reminding them? Perhaps you’re debating whether the move to secondary school is a good time for them to get a smartphone? How have you changed the rules to give them more independence while keeping them safe? And how are you handling the emotional side of seeing them all grown up (yet still your baby)?

Share your experience or concerns with O2 in the comments below and you could be in with the chance to win a £300 voucher for the store of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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Mine doesn’t start for a couple of years but I’m worrying about it already. Starting secondary school promoted a nervous breakdown in me which was terrifying at that age and I worry a lot about the same happening to my DC.

We are just having conversations with Piper about moving up to 'big school' as she is due to move next year.
It's so difficult because there are 2 schools near home that she can automatically get into and 2 others that she can get into if she gets the necessary exam results and there is space for her.
It's a very difficult balance between her wanting to stay with her friends from junior school and wanting to go to one of the 'posher' schools on the other side of town.
The other major problem is the transport if she gets into one of the schools on the other side of town because the littler members of the family still have to get to the infants and junior schools near home.

my eldest is going into year 6 now so will be going to comprehensive school next September. Im concerned because he doesnt really go anywhere without me. Im planning on giving him some more independence this year to prepare him for next year. x

My son's school have been fantastic and recognised that it is a difficult time for kids. They arranged quite a few transition days and then ran a 1 week summer school whereby the kids did orienteering around the school to help them know the layout well. Once he started, I received a weekly report via email to keep me informed of his progress, achievements and any concerns.

We started to prepare for secondary school before the big event actually happened.
As my daughter was gonna have to walk and sometimes get the bus back, we did the journeys beforehand so she was confident in the trips.

As far as homework was concerned, i had to check with her she was doing it. She still needs prompting as it is hard to remember as there is so much and all due in on different dates but thankfully the school has an app to track it all, which helps alot!

My daughter has had a smartphone for quite a while, so she is confident in using it and it is great for keeping in touch when she is travelling to school by herself but i do remind her to not just have it out in clear view as she could be targeted and it might be pinched. (Sad times we live in)!

All in all, i encouraged her to make as many friends as possible so there is always someone she can turn to.

Whether you're about to do it, or remember it well, how do you cope with your child making the move to secondary school? Are you giving them the independence of doing their homework without reminding them? Perhaps you’re debating whether the move to secondary school is a good time for them to get a smartphone? How have you changed the rules to give them more independence while keeping them safe? And how are you handling the emotional side of seeing them all grown up (yet still your baby)?

^^ignore the last paragraph lol, i was reminding myself of the questions!! Doh xx

It was fine as they went up with a friend from Junior school so was no problem. Soon made new friends as well.

In all honesty, dd found going up to secondary a doddle. I was far more concerned, especially as she was going into a class where none of her primary friends would be.

I think a lot depends on how we as parents present it. We can quietly worry they won't make friends, or won't get on with their teachers, or wil get lost, or won't keep up with the work, but we need to keep schtum about it and present as a "won't it be great" experience.

I'm not too worried about DS moving up to secondary school. His friends from primary school are moving up too. He's not at all nervous and is looking forward to the next stage in his schooling. He looks at it as a big adventure and it makes me feel confident that he will take it in his stride.

I expected my son to struggle settling in - he went from a small 1 class of 30 kids per year type of school where he knew all the teachers and other children to this massive all boys secondary school where there are 8 classes of 30 per year and he only knew 1 other boy from his school. I was so anxious and worried for weeks beforehand but he settled in amazingly! He was not a teeny tiny bit fussed! hes now in year 8 and doing so well.. simply not a bit phased at all!
The school did have introduction days and packs to read up on on what to expect and also they boys all started year 7 earlier that first day than the rest of the school - so i think this helped to know they were all in the same boat if they felt a bit lost
nothing like my experiences going to secondary school so im super proud of him!

I think I needed to adjust not him! Kids are

My girls went to secondary school last year and I was pleased at how well the school dealt with the transition. This year they have gone back to school and are really excited to be back :)

When dd started secondary school, it was a bit hard for her at first, as she was the only one from her primary school who went to that particular "big" school, so she felt on her own. It took lots of reassurance from us as she was quite shy. We did plenty of dry run journeys to make sure she knew how to get there. She had a phone that wasn't too expensive, so if it got stolen or lost it wasn't too big a deal. We bought extra supplies of stationery, socks, underwear, tissues and a spare pair of specs, they always seem to get broken at school. Her dad and I also tried not to worry, and the most important thing to do is to give it time. If they seem to be taking a very long time to settle, it'll be worth having a word with the school in case there are any other problems that need sorting out.

I have one that started last year. It was scary for all of us; me, because I realised that they were no longer a small child and that I would have to support them in being a more independent young person and for her because it is daunting moving on to what seems to be much more of a grown up environment. There were tears the first week but after that time she settled in quite well.

I always pack on the go snacks as they find they don't have much time to eat their lunch as the school much bigger and therefore busier. Pack the PE regardless of what they say about timetables because they always forget. And check the local free pages as lots of parents pass on uniforms that have had very little or no use.

My girls go to different upper schools. They were already walking to school at Middle school anyway so there wasn't a big change there.

The main concern I had was how large the school was after being in middle school but they soon got used to that. Also the amount of kit they need for sport is ridiculous and this year the new deputy head has introduced blazers!

There's a lot more homework too and I do worry that they aren't able to keep up, my daughter has asked for a science tutor to help her get ahead before her gcse's next year.

I do like that my girls are more responsible now, they stay after school or go early if they need to study.

One thing I didn't like at one of the schools is that their form class is a mix of years including sixth formers! This is supposed to give them older peers to talk to but she says they don't really mingle.

Finally, I do think that that they are normally ready for upper school by the time they get there, so try not to worry. Most schools are really good at settling them in.

My sons first day didn't go to well last week. He isn't very tall for his age and said he felt scared. In Primary school he had lots of friends and was very outgoing but he has moved to a grammar school where he doesn't know anyone and has become quite withdrawn so I'm thinking of having a long talk with him and perhaps if he wants it, moving him to the school some of his friends are attending. It's been a difficult week but hopefully all will be well in the end.

My son was ready for moving to secondary school, they had a couple of days where they went to have a look round and meet teachers. He was with a couple of friends in his registration group and classes so that made life easier. If you become stressed about it as a parent you can sometimes get your child stressed so make it sound exciting and the next adventure.

I was so worried about my daughter joining secondary school, the usual concerns about bullying, not fitting in, getting lost etc but I soon realised everyone was in the same boat, and after a few weeks of settling in there were no real problems

My biggest worry was the journey. The secondary is quite a long way from our house, so there is a choice of a very indirect bus route with a 10 minute walk at each end or a 40 minute walk. I made sure they knew the bus route and walking route very well, by practising with them several times during the summer holidays.

Make sure their mobile is fully charged and has credit and give them emergency money in case they lose their bus pass/lunch money etc.

I was more scared for my son than my daughter, he still seemed like a baby at the time, where she was acting more mature than her years, I just got them both all the right equipment, made sure they had friends to go with as Mothers taxi was no longer required ( should I say, not wanted). I think I worried more than they did, and they eased it into the new school fine within a few weeks, I think I was just worried they would forget all the new stuff they had to take,learn etc... and being bullied as its so rife, but thankfully all the new people they met have now become friends.

I was concerned as he is quite small for his age and i thought he would find it daunting but he really has shone and is becoming popular with all of the sports teams.

Worried about catching the school bus rather than walking down the road. Fine after a couple of days.

Getting a taste for it helps. We had a swimming class running over the summer at the High School. Going to that each day, with people they knew and others they would get to know, helped make the big transition easier as it was more familiar.

We decided to continue our Home Education journey through secondary school. Eldest is about to take his first GCSE 3 years early as an external candidate. We take one at a time so he can fit it around all the other social and educational programs we are taking that we all enjoy. Police Cadets, Archaeological digs , Scouts and DofE all all helpful for qualifications and experience as well.

There were plenty of things put in place by the school when each of my three started, which helped enormously. They all got to choose friends from primary school to be in the same form with and, although they didn't get every friend, they all got at least 2. This provided a spring board for them to make other friends and by the end of the year their friendship groups were a mixture of old and new. There were older students assigned to younger ones to help the settling in process as well, which was quite good although some of the older ones fulfilled the role better than others. Overall the process was smooth and, although my daughter had some bullying issues in year 7, this was caused by a girl who she'd been at primary school on and school dealt with it really well.