Mumsnet users share their experience of their child moving up to secondary school with O2

[EllieMumsnet]

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Sending your children off to secondary school can feel like a milestone in your child's life and a big step as a parent. It's likely also a time where your child is seeking more independence, leading you to wonder "is it alright to...?" on a regular basis. With this in mind, O2 would like to hear about your experience or concerns about your child moving up to secondary school.

Here’s what O2 has to say: “#IsItAlright to let them use a tablet at breakfast? We hear you. Parenting is full of #IsItAlright questions, challenges and dilemmas. That’s why we’ve launched O2 Family, to bring advice, safety tools and kid-friendly offers to parents across the UK. We don’t pretend to have all the answers. But hopefully we make it a little easier to navigate the everyday messy magic of family life."

September will see a whole new start for loads of kids around the country and parents have to adjust too. Whether you're about to do it, or remember it well, how do you cope with your child making the move to secondary school? Are you giving them the independence of doing their homework without reminding them? Perhaps you’re debating whether the move to secondary school is a good time for them to get a smartphone? How have you changed the rules to give them more independence while keeping them safe? And how are you handling the emotional side of seeing them all grown up (yet still your baby)?

Share your experience or concerns with O2 in the comments below and you could be in with the chance to win a £300 voucher for the store of your choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

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It isn't time for mine yet to start secondary but I have already been giving it lots of thought even though there is a few years to go. I have already told them that when they start that is when they are allowed their first mobile phone which is more for my piece of mind rather than their enjoyment. I have also decided that when they start that is when I am going to start giving them some more independence and freedom which I am already nervous about but it has to happen sometime.

my daughter was ready when she moved to Secondary School. she was excited as her friends would be joining her and a bonus she had her big sister there. I was glad it was a smooth process for her as I myself did not have the same experience when I was young.

More scary for me than her! She was calm as anything - I was a nervous wreck!

encourage them and chat about the move each ay in the holidays

It was fine for my DC’s, you do worry as a parent but they soon settle in, make friends and get on with it.

My son went to the same secondary school as I did! It was odd seeing him in the uniform. He didn't really care much for it, but then neither did I. Just something you've got to get on with, an important lesson in life!

I worry about how it will be for my girl because I remember how much I struggled with it. Not so much in terms of the lessons but about what the other pupils are like and hope there won't be bullying.

He hasn't made that leap yet but when he moved from infant to primary last year in he did surprisingly well - we were worried that, with his mild autism the change in routine and a new building would bother him especially as his best friend wouldn't be with him. A year on and he is still doing very well.

My son insisted on walking to the bus stop & getting the bus all by himself on then first day. I followed him from a distance, hoping he didn't notice me! He got on the bus ok so all was well x

Don't panic! OK, so you're panicking, but don't let the kids see that! Try and remain calm, tell what what to expect (from having listened to other Mums who sent their kids there last year, not your own out-of-date memories). And listen to them when they come home and reassure them about any worries.

I'm so worried for him, he was bullied last year about his ginger hair and i know what older children are like when it comes to bulling.
He's so worried too, but i try to convince him that everything will be fine and we will talk to the teachers about it.

I have had 2 start and finish secondary school and one still to get there. My ds was born the in the early hours on the day my dd started secondary school, I'm not the most organised and hadn't got round to sewing on her blazer badge. Her Nan did that for her and it ended up that aunt took her on her first day. She was fine, enjoyed making new friends. It is daunting for parents and children, but it's part of growing up before you know it it's first day of college and then first day of work

I thought as i work in a secondary school it'd be a breeze for me. How wrong was I!! Every one of my children who moved to secondary always had the same fears. Getting lost around such a big site, late for lessons and missing the bus. I only have 1 at secondary school now, 1 at primary, 1 working and 1 off to university. That's far more scary than the secondary school move!!!

DD is starting in September and I am very nervous for her but presently she is just excited! I think the schools have put a lot of work into the transition which helps- she spent a lot of time there once SATS were over.

Ours went up okay, but they were with quite a big crowd.

When my daughter moved from First to the Middle school, she was so delighted she could walk to and from school on her own, as it was only literally 10 minutes down the road. She felt so independent doing this and would meet her friends on the corner for a chat before going in. She coped really well with the transition and the school were brilliant at nurturing them.

I think I was quite lucky as both my DC got to do familiarisation days at the secondary schools they went to. They also got to start a day before the rest of the senior school, so that they could all be shown around the school without everyone else there and get familiar with where they'd have to go for lessons. I think these things really helped.

My son is quite shy so we were really worried about him moving up, especially as he was going to a school that not many of his friends from primary school were going. Plus, it involved him getting the train on his own & walking home which he had never done before! However, he settled in really quickly and made new friends. The train & walking home gave him a sense of independence and responsibility which did wonders for his confidence.

My concerns are (based on his older cousin going to the same school), yes they let them out for lunch early for the first week, so they get a lunch, after that it seems to be 'every man for himself' in the queue, so the younger ones have to learn to queue- which take the majority of the lunchtime - my nephew used to give up queuing and play with his friends - who would rather play than stand in line for 30 minutes of the 40 minute lunch break. So after the first couple of week, I intend to give a packed lunch.

Sadly, not a positive one. It breaks my heart. She went off on the first day feeling all grown up (getting the bus for the first time etc). Sadly, she couldn't keep up with the work and found herself floundering. There have been many developments since but I cry every time I see the picture of her setting off on her first day.

Our lad is moving up top high school this year and apart from spending £300 on uniform and required twaddle we are dreading it

My concerns last year were: going to a school of 180 children to one ten times larger is concerning me, as is the travel, from walking 20 minutes to a 30 minute bus ride on a noisy crammed school bus.
In reality the size of the school was no issue - the older children looked after the year 7 children, we had regular contact with the form tutor, the school bus was near enough door to door from the bus stop near my home to an assigned bay outside the school. My worries about school are still there - but no where near what I had anticipated.

Talk them through it and reassure them. Our secondary school lets them move up a week before the summer holidays to show them how things work which helps a lot with nerves

Yes, its time to slacken off some of the apron strings and let your little butterflies flutter a little! I remember being so worried about our son - but you know there is a saying that 99.9% of things you worry about never actually happen so dont waste your life worrying!

I think its just important not to question too much but make time for him/her to talk when they get home - its not easy being a new environment around new people so the more supportive you can be, and a listening ear will help them alot rather than 100 questions you want to know the answer to which they wont want to answer when they come home tired!

Be ready for the "I need this for tomorrow" kind of thing, and always put a secret couple of quid in the bottom of the rucksack for them as there is always some cake sale or something they wont have money for. If like my son yours might be a bit disorganised it is handy to talk to the girls who are in the same class - there was a lovely girl who used to almost organise my son at one point, which he probably thought was a little irritating but it was great as when i came to the school gates if she was there she would tell me what he needed the next day and how well he had done in a test.

Tips would be, make sure you always have spare uniform and stationery bits, keep a few quid back because you always need some for school fairs, trips and cake sales, and rucksacks last about 3 months as they are usually dragged all over the floor when you are not looking.

Given a bit of space they will turn out well - our son is really a sensible lad now - probably more sense than I have got! and it all comes from him making his own decisions, learning to remember things himself, and starting to be independent!

I have three children that have started senior school. The youngest started last year and is about to go into yr8.

All three the biggest worry has been how to get to and from school each day. So in the holidays we would walk the route several times and then start going off route for the variations that they could use.

This definitely helped them and if they had had to get a bus, we would have caught the bus together several times as well and a practice run of them catching the bus themselves.

The only other thing we have come across to cause concern has bene friendship issues and like other shave said, don't rush in and try and sort it for them. Let them talk, shout, cry it out and then ask what they would like you to do. Often its enough to have just been listened to. For them to know that you are there when they want to talk and would like some advice is a great thing and for them to have the confidence that they know that you are there should they need you.