Say NO to bullying with Andy Day and his brand new band Andy and the Odd Socks - share your thoughts on dealing with bullies: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We have been asked to find out about your childs’ experiences of bullying and to hear your tips on dealing with bullies by Andy Day and the Anti Bullying Alliance. Andy is one of the most popular faces on children’s TV as a presenter on Cbeebies.

Andy, with his band ‘Andy and the Odd Socks’, are also patrons of the Anti-Bullying Alliance and next week (13-17 Nov) they will be encouraging primary schools up and down the country to take part in Anti-Bullying Week. It's a cause Andy is very passionate about and is one of the reasons he formed the band. He believes that music is not only great entertainment for children, but is also a great way to inspire them to be accepting of each other and to show everybody is different in their own way.

Andy and the Odd Socks say “we are all about putting across a positive, inclusive fun message via our new song ‘Unique’ which has been chosen by the charity to support their message this year of ‘All Different, All Equal’”.

See below for the video for 'Unique' by Andy and the Odd Socks.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance say “the aim of the campaign is help young children understand that everyone is different and to celebrate that from an early age. The main focus of the week is the introduction of ‘Odd Socks Day’ (the official Odd Socks Day is Monday 13th November (but schools can still take part and hold an Odd Socks Day at any time)), whereby Primary Schools and their pupils are encouraged to wear odd socks for the day to promote individuality, being unique, a sense of self and awareness for the overall aim of the week....to say NO to bullying”.

So Andy and the Alliance would love to hear how you and your child have coped with bullies, any tips on avoiding being bullied and also your experiences and thoughts generally about bullying amongst primary school aged children.

Add your comment below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store of choice - from a list.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

PS If you have any questions about bullying, do join us on Monday 13 November at 11.00am where we will be Live on Facebook Live Andy Day and Lauren Segar-Smith of Kidscape

i teach my child to try to be friendly to everyone and to tell the teacher and myself if he knows of anyone being bullied or if he is being bullied himself.

It’s a life long lesson.
My ds is 3 and I’m trying to start early.
Having a dog is a great help because he has to learn to be kind and gentle with him. Little things like saying please and thank you to him.
Also talk a lot about feelings when he shouts at me or ds. Fingers crossed the world will be a kinder place when he is older

It is so important to nip this sort of thing in the early stages, and to get the schools involved

It's really difficult subject. I wouldn't know where to start. I do teach my daughter that bullying is bad and hope she will never bully anyone

My eldest daughter was bullied by girls who were once her friends. They would ignore her and take photos of her without her knowledge - sharing them with each each other. She was very distressed and we spoke to school who did sort it.

I think its important to always listen to children and validate their emotions. Let them know they haven't done anything wrong and that this will be sorted. Also tell them they did the right thing in talking to someone.

One of my children was briefly bullied and whilst school sat by the sidelines he took it into his own hands and hit the kids back - it stopped after that.

My dd on the other hand hasn't been bullied and I put that down to her fantastic talking skills. She has always been on the school council and one of the anti bullying reps so maybe that is one of the reasons.

Overall I don't think there is a set answer as each situation and child is different and now that we have so many rules and regs and so much cotton wool to wrap kids in there doesn't seem to be too much that schools can do about it either.

All 3 of my girls have been bullied at one time or another. I didn't feel school had adequate training or resources to combat it.

On one occasion I took it into my own hands and contacted the police. They were wonderful. They worked with the school to make sure my daughter felt and was safe whilst in school. They spoke with the parents of the child and were granted their co-operation.

This was so successful that I would like to see an outside agency become involved when a child is being bullied in school. The police acted as an intermediary of sorts, and their position of authority meant the bully and their parents were forced to take notice.

We've encouraged our DD to be open with us about anything which unsettles at school, within her friendship circle and without. We have noticed, increasingly, that there are whispering campaigns against particular girls which begin (seemingly) from nowhere and dissipate fast but really impact the excluded child.

We've spoken at length to our DD (now 6) about the inporatance of shining a light on more covert bullying/intimidation by loudly repeating or questioning what is said or done at the time it happens. She also has a notebook in a cushion pocket at bedtime she can write thoughts or fears in and sharing time to come downstairs and show us anything that has her particularly worried or upset.

*importance

I believe everyone goes through it at some stage, whether it be the odd throwaway comment that stays with you for the rest of the life, to physical or mental bullying. I think making sure your child knows they can talk to you is really important as I know as a child I would keep alot to myself and some comments that have been said to me still hurt me now. It really helped when I could talk to my mam about them it was a weight from my shoulders at least.

Children can be so cruel but often without even realising - I do truly believe that a lot can be done with awareness and education campaigns that highlight bullying and ways of coping and dealing with it. I was recently astounded when I asked the school for a copy of their anti-bullying guidance and was presented with a guide covering many different topics but under bullying policy it simply said - 'The school will not tolerate Bullying'. I encourage my DCs to be very open and to have the courage to talk about anything with me in the hopes that as matters may arise they tell me about them.

DD1 has always been quite studious and not part of the "in crowd" as a result. In Year 6 she experienced bullying (name calling, snipy comments to undermine her confidence) when she was excelling in class. Gradually the one girl who started it persuaded others to join in and it spread from going on in the classroom to following her walking home from school. I found out as she became very withdrawn and tearful over the slightest thing. She poured it all out to me when confronted and we promptly went to the school with it. They were really good and I found out that her teacher had already had several girls in to speak about it and they were monitoring it closely. We talked with DD1 regularly after that and also kept in close contact with the school. To their credit some of the girls who had been dragged into it apologised and rallied around her which was some comfort. The year group overall were given a few talks on bullying as she wasn't the only one to experience it and I understand that its quite common at this age group to escalate. I am very vigilant now with her and DD2. Its important to keep the communication going which is sometimes easier said than done with pre-teens.

My Childs school make their pupils take an anti bullying pledge and include a box in the classroom where pupils can post and express concerns about other pupils, if they're worried. Its been a huge success at the school.

My son was bullied for the first year of school. It broke my heart in pieces but we were blessed with a great head teacher at the school who ( once she knew what was going on ) was so hot on getting it sorted. I told my son to always report back to a teacher or member of staff if this child did or said something that upset him and it was dealt with very well.

My little boy hasn't been the subject of bullying but he has a few things such as scars etc that as he gets older may make him an easier target. I think the most important thing you can do is make sure your children know they can talk to you about things which are happening at school - and outside - rather than bottle it up and struggle.

Bullying should be discussed at home as well as in school. Kids should know that they can report bullying safely and that something will be done. Other kids should know that if they dont feel brave enough to sop bullying as it happens they should report it afterwards. And all kids should know the harsh reality that bullying can and does ruin lives. Unfortunately some parents refuse to believe their kids are bullies or worse teach their kids those behaviours in the first place

I absolutely hate bullying, luckily my children haven't experienced any yet, my eldest is in year 1. From my experience of bullying it starts later on.

It's a really tough subject and so hard to find a solution. I don't believe that one size fits all either. In some cases, talking to someone helps but in others that can intensify it.

Living life being kind, friendly, getting to know everyone and having a strong peer group, you'd hope would keep bullies at bay

That is a hard one but I'd say that you have to be forceful with the school if you aren't happy with how they're dealing with your complaint as they should be tackling this properly, they're the trained ones after all. A letter to the school's governing body is in order if this is the case, making sure everything is properly documented so there's no denial

I like to teach my daughter that it is ok to be difference there is too much pressure to like the same things, look the same the best clothes etc.

Also important to help your child understand not to bully other too

I have one grown up child and one still at school and my advice to them is to always say something as soon as it feels wrong and not to wait til it gets worse. If they can't speak to a parent, another trusted adult, at school or a family member, is a good idea. As a parent, I would always suggest finding out all the facts before diving off the deep end. It's not always a bullying issue, children do fall out and get over it pretty quickly, so the important thing is to listen to your child.

Being the parent of a child with ASD bullying is always a concern as my son is very different to what is supposed 'normal' and that in itself attracts the bully types.

I think children should be taught from a young age about personal space and being kind to one another and also respecting others likes and dislikes. My son has noise sensitivity and we have always had issues with children using that to taunt him.

I've always tried to teach my son that no matter how someone treats you, where ever possible, you only treat others how you wish others to treat you.

Set a good example, and tell them to talk to you about anything that worries them.

The thought of my children getting bullied scares the life out of me. I have always taught my children that no one is the same and you never know what anyone is going through. Always respect other people's feelings and talk to someone (myself, grandparents or teacher) if worried about bullying or someone else being bullied.

I bought a great book when my daughter was having friendship problems called nobody likes me, everybody hates me. It's all about building resilience and empowering the child with skills so they know what to do!