Say NO to bullying with Andy Day and his brand new band Andy and the Odd Socks - share your thoughts on dealing with bullies: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We have been asked to find out about your childs’ experiences of bullying and to hear your tips on dealing with bullies by Andy Day and the Anti Bullying Alliance. Andy is one of the most popular faces on children’s TV as a presenter on Cbeebies.

Andy, with his band ‘Andy and the Odd Socks’, are also patrons of the Anti-Bullying Alliance and next week (13-17 Nov) they will be encouraging primary schools up and down the country to take part in Anti-Bullying Week. It's a cause Andy is very passionate about and is one of the reasons he formed the band. He believes that music is not only great entertainment for children, but is also a great way to inspire them to be accepting of each other and to show everybody is different in their own way.

Andy and the Odd Socks say “we are all about putting across a positive, inclusive fun message via our new song ‘Unique’ which has been chosen by the charity to support their message this year of ‘All Different, All Equal’”.

See below for the video for 'Unique' by Andy and the Odd Socks.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance say “the aim of the campaign is help young children understand that everyone is different and to celebrate that from an early age. The main focus of the week is the introduction of ‘Odd Socks Day’ (the official Odd Socks Day is Monday 13th November (but schools can still take part and hold an Odd Socks Day at any time)), whereby Primary Schools and their pupils are encouraged to wear odd socks for the day to promote individuality, being unique, a sense of self and awareness for the overall aim of the week....to say NO to bullying”.

So Andy and the Alliance would love to hear how you and your child have coped with bullies, any tips on avoiding being bullied and also your experiences and thoughts generally about bullying amongst primary school aged children.

Add your comment below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store of choice - from a list.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

PS If you have any questions about bullying, do join us on Monday 13 November at 11.00am where we will be Live on Facebook Live Andy Day and Lauren Segar-Smith of Kidscape

[essexchic]

As Difficult as it is to admit when i was a small child I was a bully, this is no excuse but I didn't have a great childhood and craved attention, really I was envious of the children I bullied for those few years until I met a true friend and realized just how awful I behaved, one of those children became one of my lifetime friends and even now feel so ashamed of my behaviour.

[CopperPan]

We always make it clear that the dc can come and talk to us about anything, and if they seem upset or withdrawn we try to get some one on one time so they can share things if they want. When I do the school pickup I watch behaviour in the playground to get an idea of the social relationships that go on.

[Ikea1234]

My son has Aspergers, and so communication is difficult, as is reading people's intentions towards him. He has got it drastically wrong in the past and unfortunately been taken advantage of. It's an uphill struggle, but e keep hammering the message home, and great tools like this song, websites and groups all help massively.

[mollymoo818]

We've been so lucky because the school is fantastic with their anti bullying message and it really seems to be paying off. The kids at the school know that if they are ever bullied then they must tell someone about it straight away and it will get sorted as it is unacceptable.

I've always explained that bullying is a horrible thing to do to something and even if you have a disagreement it is no excuse to then use either horrible words or violence.

[IonaAilidh11]

my youngest 2 were badly bullied at primary that had to move schools, no problems after that so different schools must have different policies on bullying

[CharleyYpres]

Bullying is happening at such a younger age now, I was only aware of bullying when it happened to me at highschool. The best thing we can do is to raise awareness of how bullying affects everyone, no matter who you are, and to start this from a young age. Also to work alongside teaching staff to ensure there is consistency in how bullying is dealt with

[Lauzipop1]

Funny enough I was doing a lesson to do with anti bullying today in school. Most of the pupils were of the impression that hitting back will work. We eventually got down to the nitty gritty of who to tell, what they could do and why people bully.

My own experience with DD has been pretty awful. She was bullied pretty badly in her last year of primary school because she is into acting and had worked on two major productions being filmed here. A lot of the girls in her class started excluding her and being really nasty. In the end the school were pretty useless so we had to go above their heads and go to their parents.

[jandoc]

I don't believe in hitting back but it's tricky to know exactly what to do

[sm2012]

I try to encourage my girls to rise above any bullies by doing what they want anyway. If they don't seem bothered (or aren't bothered) whoever is doing the bullying will inevitably get bored as they want a reaction!

[Dormouse1940]

Oh gosh, this worries me.

I was not bullied at school but my sister was, terribly. The schools response so was so poor! They did nothing to help the situation at all.
I know it's not just the responsibility of schools to talk to children about bullying and address the behavior, but my family's experience has left me with little faith in teachers willingness or ability to help.

And my son hasn't even started school yet!

[ashde]

My daughter was bullied by a number of children at school and she used to come home in tears. We spoke and I told her that it was a good thing that she spoke up. I had meetings with her teacher and Things did not improve. The school only took action when my husband complained and it got better after that. It's good to talk.

[RiSo]

My son was being bullied by another boy. We went the correct way about it, my son told his teacher, I spoke to his teacher etc, still the bullying continued til one day he came home with a big gash down his head so I squared up to the mother in the playground and gave her what for about her son's behavior. We never had a problem again from him.

[litlebear]

Setting an example by talking to your children about people and their diversities in a respectful way. It is good to be individuals and most of all kindness.

[twinklenic]

My son was bullied throughout primary and secondary school. He has ADHD and was always a little different to other children and i think the other kids found it funny when he reacted to them. I think schools should take this issue seriously as he is now 18 and is still affected by what he went through

[sealight123]

I am lucky that my daughter hasn't met her first bully yet.
She has, just today, done a performance at school for anti-bullying week!

In schools, the conversation needs to begin at a young age and the conversation needs to keep going and maturing.

When I was at school I really struggled with bullies and it ruined my experience of school. I found that as I got older I could handle them more as I could escape them and ignore them. However, with social media, it can't be escaped as easily.

There needs to be more emotional support in schools- especially counselors and school buddies as to combat a bully you need to talk and really be heard before you can confront the situation. Putting up with the situation also doesn't let the bully know how bad their behaviour is.

The anti-bullying initiative is a real step forward :)

[ChocolateCake1]

Keep talking to family - never bottle things up.

[gemsi]

This is a tricky subject because I want my daughter to stand up for herself when we starts school and it's a give as good as you get kind of situation that I'm thinking in my head that I want to tell her. My husband is like we can say if someone hits you hit them back or shouts shout back, yes fair enough shout back and use words etc but I think the whole violence thing isn't really the route I want to go down.
It is hard to think of what is right to say though when you just want them to be able to stand up for themselves and give as good as they get so they don't become an easy target or get walked over if you know what I mean.
I think I might need to read up a bit more about this topic when the time comes because I want her to know she can tell and talk to me about anything and especially concerning this and that she doesn't have to cope with anything like that at school or anywhere else for that matter. It's not right and she doesn't have to put up with it.

[svalentine60]

My eldest son was bullied throughout his first year of junior school from the age of around 10 by the same two boys who bullied a lot of people jointly but concentrated on my son because he had severe asthma. He was punched, kicked and hit every day until i pulled him from school. In my experience schools have almost zero interest in stopping bullies. I went there all the time and spoke to the education department. I remember the last day as i was waiting for him to come out i watched the boys punch him into a metal fence. I ran over and shouted at them. The only person spoken to about the incident was me when the school said i shouldn't have shouted at them. That day i pulled him out and he is now home educated. If he can't be protected in school then he won't be going.

[sweir1]

Luckily they have not experienced it, but I always tell them to be nice to others and watch out for their friends

[LeeR1985]

Thankfully i've never had to deal with bullying but I do regularly remind my daughter that she should never be afraid to speak to her parents or teachers if she's ever being bullied

[sbruin1122]

cyber bullying was a big thing with mine a couple of years ago. They ignored it and their friends reported it to teachers.

[peanutmum111]

I am a firm believer in openness.
Always find out the school's policy and follow this.
If they do not act effectively, then deal with the teachers to the HEAD, then Governors ............
Then ask for help !!!!!!!

[Azra12]

My son has just turned 4 & started nursery has had a few incidents where another child has pinched and slapped him. Thankfully I heard this from the teachers before him because knowing him it would be something that would be told possibly days later! The nursery was very hands on and had already spoken to the other mother and reassured me they were keeping an eye on it but I've noticed when kids are older there's less support from the teachers and other adults at school
My daughter has just turned 10 & there have been a couple of playground incidents but she's always just said the dinner lady or whoever is on duty at that time had told her to ignore it or just get the other child to apologise
I've always told my children never to hit or swear back but instead tell an adult & if need be I do go into speak to the teachers

[littlemonkeyz]

As a teacher, I like to have informal but directed discussions about bullying before problems occur. I invite children to explore what actions or words they might associate with a bully and then to examine their own behaviour. Very often, children will not consider themselves to be bullies but will identify with unkind actions or words that that they have used. This process combined with exploring feelings associated with name-calling etc helps to start the process of positive behaviour modification.

[helsrodders]

I was terribly bullied at school in my teens (I was tall for my age) and was determined that my children shouldn’t suffer too, as both are also very tall. The advice I gave them was:-

If you allow bullies to continue bullying you then they become mentally stronger whilst you become mentally weaker. Keeping the pain to yourself doesn’t make the problem go away, it makes it worse. Telling doesn’t make the situation with the bully any worse than it is currently is, it makes it better. The bully needs to be dealt with quickly, so you should tell the school/me straight away so we can deal with it.

I also told my children that if they were hit then they should hit back twice as hard (never hit first). I told them not to worry if the teacher told them off for hitting back/hitting a bully who is smaller than them - I would not be angry if they had defended themselves and I would back them up.