Say NO to bullying with Andy Day and his brand new band Andy and the Odd Socks - share your thoughts on dealing with bullies: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We have been asked to find out about your childs’ experiences of bullying and to hear your tips on dealing with bullies by Andy Day and the Anti Bullying Alliance. Andy is one of the most popular faces on children’s TV as a presenter on Cbeebies.

Andy, with his band ‘Andy and the Odd Socks’, are also patrons of the Anti-Bullying Alliance and next week (13-17 Nov) they will be encouraging primary schools up and down the country to take part in Anti-Bullying Week. It's a cause Andy is very passionate about and is one of the reasons he formed the band. He believes that music is not only great entertainment for children, but is also a great way to inspire them to be accepting of each other and to show everybody is different in their own way.

Andy and the Odd Socks say “we are all about putting across a positive, inclusive fun message via our new song ‘Unique’ which has been chosen by the charity to support their message this year of ‘All Different, All Equal’”.

See below for the video for 'Unique' by Andy and the Odd Socks.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance say “the aim of the campaign is help young children understand that everyone is different and to celebrate that from an early age. The main focus of the week is the introduction of ‘Odd Socks Day’ (the official Odd Socks Day is Monday 13th November (but schools can still take part and hold an Odd Socks Day at any time)), whereby Primary Schools and their pupils are encouraged to wear odd socks for the day to promote individuality, being unique, a sense of self and awareness for the overall aim of the week....to say NO to bullying”.

So Andy and the Alliance would love to hear how you and your child have coped with bullies, any tips on avoiding being bullied and also your experiences and thoughts generally about bullying amongst primary school aged children.

Add your comment below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store of choice - from a list.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

PS If you have any questions about bullying, do join us on Monday 13 November at 11.00am where we will be Live on Facebook Live Andy Day and Lauren Segar-Smith of Kidscape

I don't think children (or adults for that matter) realise they are bullies. There needs to be more emphasis by parents and teachers on getting children to think about how their behaviour affects others.

The girl who bullied me in primary school went on to have a son who was badly bullied and she now heads up an anti-bullying charity. I'm sure she would be horrified and genuinely surprised to know that she made my life a misery for all those years.

I always say "How do you think that made X feel when you said/did that?"

My little boy is not in school but my little sister was bullied. Unfortunately I know that very little is often done in schools and the emotional side of bullying is much more scarring than the physical.

I used to remind my sister how loved she was, encourage her to talk to me and teach her coping methods.

School was also involved as they should be aware at all times.

ensuring the kids can tell you when there is a problem, and then helping them get through it - no right or wrong ways to deal with these things

We haven't had to deal with it yet DD 11 and DS9 but have told them the importance of speaking to an adult if it does happen. It's incredibly heartbreaking that bullying seems to start younger and younger though.

Tell the school as soon as possible. These days it's very important to snap it in the butt right away, schools should deal with it quickly.

Thankfully mine is yet to be picked on, but we talk about how if she is she needs to tell us or the teacher and stick with her friends. I was bullied dreadfully when I was young, I was quiet and have sticky out ears and I didn't say anything for too long and became withdrawn and started hating school. In a way I feel grateful that at least I think I'd recognise the signs.
I do worry her dad would tell her to hit them though

My son is 6 so no experiences yet but it does worry me. He wears glasses and i do worry when he gets older. He is shy and sensitive too. He does karate so i hope it gives him some confidence going forward

It is a very difficult subject. My children are now older, but I did worry when they were at school. That was before cyber bullying was really a thing.

My child has been getting bullied for the last few years, Two days ago was jumped and beaten. What upsets and angers me is schools no longer have the power to expel pupils permanently, The maximum they can do is give them a three day suspension. So they get a few days off as a reward. The bullies have made so many kids life's miserable, infact 3 children who were victims of the same people have had to move schools as they couldn't take it any more. Yet nothing can be done to stop the bullies. It's not right. I read on here yesterday a boy got both wrists broken at school, again a few days off school for the kids responsible. How can this be right?!

We've never had any issues but I think that's because I've tried to teach them to treat everyone well. And to tell us if they see anyone being mean

To have a strong core of nice friends helps and to let them know they must always talk to you or their teacher if they are unhappy.

This is a really difficult one because, as a parent, I want to do everything I can to protect my son & in dealing with things like this, I need to keep my own emotions in check. There has been an issue a school recently with an older child - my son has come home saying he's been shouting at him & not being very nice. It's been hard to get any more detail than this - but I've made the teachers aware & asked them to monitor it.
I'm glad my son has told me & I hope he'll always be open about things.
He does do Jiu-Jitsu which has been fantastic in increasing his confidence, learning about respect for others & working together.
I want to teach him resilience as there will always be unpleasantness in the world - it's how we deal with it that makes a difference.
I think this is a fantastic initiative to raise awareness of bullying & encourage kids to respect & appreciate difference.

I've had this problem when my daughter was being bullied at school. I took it up with the school, who were hopeless and turned a blind eye. I took the matter into my own hands and confronted the culprits myself, then I went to their parents houses and told them about their children bullying my child. Bullying stopped after that.

I think trying to give your child different hobbies away from school helps so they have a variety of friends and interests. Also trying to always increase their own self esteem and about being strong when people might not always be nice.

My son was going through this at primary school and kept walking away when he was being called names, but this didn't work. On one occasion, when he was pushed, he pushed back hard and was never bullied by this person again. I thoroughly support my son to act in self defence if needed but I would not support if he was the one starting a fight. I truly believe that if a child doesn't act in self defence, the bullying would just continue

Fortunately my kids haven't been bullied but think it really helps when the school has a strong anti bullying policy! I think teacher's attitude towards it can have a huge influence in any school

When I was in school I was bullied and lit was horrific - but the only saving grace was that it stopped once I was at home. My child hasn't been so lucky. With phones, laptops and tablets, bullying is now a 24 hour phenomenon. Luckily her school is incredibly pro-active whereas other schools don't always believe that anything that happens outside of school grounds has anything to do with them. It's not practical to take these devices from her for a multitude of reasons but the key is to monitor, monitor, monitor all the time.

The my son who has ginger hair was bullied, name called by one boy in particular, this boy, you can tell came from a home where there was not much love to go around, he always looked untidy, and tired. I spoke to the teacher, who said that she was trying to spend time with the 'bully' out of class as she was aware of the name calling. My son was coming home in tears. That was it, I decided to invite the bully to tea, so I sent an invite to his mum (who did not collect from school always). I showed the boy some kindness, and patience, so we had tea, nothing special, they the boys played on the playstation, then the boy went home, went better than I expected. Two weeks later I invited him to tea again, this time my son was more accepting of this invite. The boy was polite, and appreciative. The name calling stopped. Whilst the boys are not best friends - they are friends.

My son has been bullied as he is autistic with ADHD, has been punched in face and come home with a bleeding nose, we immediately went to the school and the perpatrator was excluded. My son knows this was not his fault and such behaviour is unacceptable.

Our DCs have not experienced bullying, we have always been of the mind to stand up to bullies and for speaking up about it straight away.

You never forget bullying experiences... and it can cause damage for life. I think it's critical to keep communication with your child, and build a relationship where they share everything, and therefore if it's happening to them. My mum did that with me and she'd help reassurance me so much and her support got me through, I try to replicate that now, as it worked for me.

My DC are very aware of what bullying is.We always talk about this at home everyday i must confessed.As am always scared that others would bully them or they could be witnesses of any bullying situations and would be afraid to speak about it or to help the person being bullied.At school they did a whole week campaign about it.It is good that our children know what to do in case it happens.At their school the staffs are very on alert on that specifically and they always take appropriate actions to stop bullying from happening.They also always talk about it all year long and not just only for a week,which am very proud of them for protecting our children and for the awareness.
And i think its a very traumatised situation for a child to handle if they don't speak and look for help.Sadly bullying can happens for an adult too and can be very worse without help.

My son was bullied but because I was in good communication with him after school every day this stopped almost immediately and was raised with teachers at the school

It was another mum who rang me to day my son was being targeted in the school playground, being pushed over, and dragged around by his coat at playtime. I was so upset, what were the playground monitors doing ? I asked my son, and he confirmed my fears. So into school I went, telling the head, who was very sympathetic and proactive in her actions. My son was discreetly watched in the playground, and I hope the playground assistants had a stern talking to. I have told my son, that if this happens again please to tell me, and I have told the Head if this happens again, I will go to the governors and local council. You need to nip it in the bud and take action, and the school will put a plan of action in place. #SAFEGUARDING

My advice is to deal with your child's disclosure swiftly and logically, and not to react emotionally in front if your child. A child can worry about telling their oarents if they think that a huge 'drama' will ensue.

I would also say that schools should be aware that some children are adept at giving a good show of manners/butter-wouldn't-melt demeanour to the adults around them, but that these can be the very worst bullies as they are confident and socially skilled and can run rings around a less confident child, whilst convincing adults that they have done nothing