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MNHQ

What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

341 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 15/09/2017 10:45

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced the Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series, and the ninth is about going back to work after having a baby. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to it here and share your thoughts and experiences on this thread.

How did you make the choice between staying at home or going back to work with a new baby? Do you consider your career an important part of your identity that you couldn’t bear to give up? Perhaps you’re happier at home with your children? Maybe your partner is better at domestic-life than you, making them the clear choice to be the primary stay-at-home-parent?

Perhaps the cost of childcare or the logistics of going back to work mean that being a stay-at-home-parent isn’t a choice for you? Or, is going back to work a necessity to afford day-to-day life?

Whatever your experience and thoughts about going back to work with a baby, post this below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you’d like to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store to add a review.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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What are your thoughts about returning to work after having a baby? Tell Fairy Non Bio to win a £300 voucher NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
RACHELSMITH45 · 20/09/2017 21:35

I had almost a year off after both. I returned part time and admit that it did take longer to get back into the role... still feel out of the loop sometimes but it's the best of both worlds really.. even though a lot of my wage pays for childcare.. roll on 30 free hours!!

freefan · 20/09/2017 21:38

I feel there is real pressure on parents to return to work as soon as they can and to do otherwise is somehow wrong.. I took the maximum time off until I had to financially return but managed to go flexi which made a huge difference and meant I could still go to all the baby classes and appointments while still working, perfect

hmariez · 20/09/2017 21:50

I don't want to go back to work and leave my babies, but I think I need to :( will definitely be reducing my hours until they start school.

lhlee62 · 20/09/2017 21:50

I was a mess when I went back the first time, I wasn't ready, but I felt pressure to go back and my supervisor didn't give a monkeys. I ended up making mistakes and being reprimanded for them. The second time I took my time and only went at my own pace, I will say I had much more support the second time as my supervisor was much nicer and more understanding.

feeona123 · 20/09/2017 22:25

After my first I was dreading going back, when I finally went back it wasn't that bad!

I went back to work pregnant with my 2nd baby so I wasn't back for long. I'm currently on career break but I'm not going back this time, my job isn't flexible in terms of taking time off in school holidays so it doesn't fit around my family life. I am happy to look for something else once my 2nd starts nursery next year.

Marg2k8 · 20/09/2017 22:26

When my second child was born, both my husband and I worked part time. Me Monday, Tuesday and Friday and he Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. This worked out well for us.

Cailin7 · 20/09/2017 23:26

Financially I had to return to work after 3 to 6 months with our DCs. I wish I could have spent longer. But being older now and we are more secure I am able to work part time and flexibly and I get to spent a lot of time at home.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/09/2017 23:52

I had always planned on having a year off then going back on hopefully 3 or 4 days. We couldn't really afford for anything less.

Then he came, and he was so poorly.

13 weeks in then a few home before he was back in ill and then same again. We spent the first 6 months in and out.

I knew that even if he was well I'd struggle to leave him and the truth was he wasn't well. He was on o2 and fed via NG, at risk of everyone else's germs.

Redundancy came up and I knew it was the right option.

And it really was. By 10 months he was back in hospital and we did 4 months solid in the Children's Hospital. Then two more short stays with operations bringing us up to 18 months. I could never have held down a job.

He's 28 months now, still with complex needs and I know being a SAHM is the right thing. Our lives are more complicated than we could ever have expected but he's smart and funny and our hero

claza93 · 21/09/2017 06:29

I knew I had to as financially we cant manage without the little bit I bring in. I felt anxious and scared - like walking into a new place but within a few hours I was cracking on with work like I had never been away. It is stressful getting the kids all sorted and dropped off where they need to be but once I get into work it is fine. A warm cup of tea in peace is bliss!

phillie1 · 21/09/2017 10:24

Went back 2 days a week, after having a year off each time - great for my sanity, my purse and keeping your skills up to date

BlackeyedPetitsPois · 21/09/2017 12:58

I have 2 daughters, one is 5 nearly 6 yrs and the other 22 months.

I worked full time up until going on mat leave with my first. Returned part time when she was 12 months - I was lucky that my employer paid decent mat package. Then went on mat leave again 3 years later and returned to the same employer when my second was 12 months.

I am very glad I was able to take the full 12 months off both times and consider myself lucky.

I do a job which is pretty mundane , office based. I feel now at my age (45) and the fact my hours are part time I will not progress any further. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is it.

helly27 · 21/09/2017 13:02

I was lucky enough to not have to go back to work and am enjoying every minute of being a full time mum

footdust · 21/09/2017 14:51

I am not looking forward to going back to work but have to go back full time as my lack of money dictates this. I'm lucky that my DD is being looked after by my mother so I know she is in safe hands. But I would much rather be a SAHM

Helsbells68 · 21/09/2017 14:57

I waited until both of mine were at school full-time.

sophiefx · 21/09/2017 15:45

I was on maternity leave since the birth of my little girl in July. I decided last month that I no longer want to return to work. I instead, would like to spend some more months with my little girl whilst she's still young. I will however be getting a part time job when she's at least 7-9 months old. I know that when I return to work I will feel like I am missing a lot of the early years of my daughters life, I will also find it hard to juggle family life and work.

MillyVanilli222 · 21/09/2017 16:13

I went back to work quickly - my work is a big part of my life, something I enjoy. Going back to a career was always important to me, to keep my own identity as a woman, as well as a mother to an amazing child!

Bequinha213 · 21/09/2017 16:29

Unfortunately due to financial reasons I have to go back to work but I wish I didn't or I wish I could work only part time.

sm2012 · 21/09/2017 17:26

I went back to work after all three of my children. I was able to do a 4 day week and as I work in a school I have the school holidays off which is such a blessing. I like the mix of being at home and being at work. I enjoy my job and I think I would have found it difficult finding a job if I had spent time out.

sunshinewey · 21/09/2017 18:32

There are so many pressures these days, too much and i feel for the younger generation momma,s, I really do feel that we have to go back to trusting our intstincts, every pregnance and every baby is different, so it should be an individual choice based on experience at that time x

MsPassepartout · 21/09/2017 18:51

I went back part time after DC1 and DC2, more because I was worried that it'd be hard to find another job after a few years out than because I really wanted to go back to work when the DC were tiny.

Then I got made redundant, got pregnant with DC3 and DC1 was diagnosed as having ASD.

So now I'm in a position where I don't want to go back to work full time, as I think DC1 (now 6) would struggle to cope with wrap around care, but part time jobs are hard to come by in the sector I have experience in, plus the sector is having a downturn locally, so lots of competition from others with more recent experience, and I'm struggling to think of other sectors where I could earn enough to cover childcare for 3 DC... it's all leaving me feeling a bit trapped into being a SAHM at the minute.

frenchfancy89 · 21/09/2017 20:20

I'm on maternity leave with my third and last at the moment and actually can't afford to go back to work. The costs of childcare is utterly ridiculous in my area even with two at school and although i hate the housewife life, there is no point in me working to only be able to pay for someone else to look after my child. I am starting an open university course though so I can do something and hopefully get something better when the time comes that i can go back to working life

daniel1996 · 21/09/2017 20:27

I had a joyful maternity leave, a little over 12 months. I had the babymoon, total exhaustion of the first 3 months, then as sleep became more abundant began to feel a little more human. My work has 'keep in touch days' where I spend half day with my boss keeping up with any events, training and to see how I was doing. I was dreading going back to work, but felt if I gave up would not get back into work having been left behind, plus money was very tight. I went back on reduced hours, and with my keep in touch days the impact was not too bad, I miss my days at home, but love adult conversation and being able to have a hot cup of tea.

Beach11 · 21/09/2017 21:39

I have decided to go back for financial reasons. After childcare is paid for there will still be disposable income left over and we like to go on day trips etc as a family. It possible if I didn't work. Also my job means I'm lucky and have the school holidays off so will get to spend quality time with dd

Benone · 21/09/2017 21:41

I had to go back for at least a few months or pay back maternity pay, and somehow just got into the swing of things, but it was hectic. I never envisaged working full time in a really demanding role with lots of out of hours work and evenings and weekends with two young kids.
In July, with number three on the way, I quit and am trying to carve out a new freelancing career that will give me more flexibility and allow me to be in the driving seat (well, that's the plan!). I'm definitely up for sacrificing a big chunk of income for better work/life balance. Let's see how it works out and hopefully returning to work after number three will be a very different, nice prospect!

Lisapaige24 · 21/09/2017 23:56

I took a year off with each of my children then returned to work part time I did feel I needed to go back as I wanted my children to go to nursery to interact with other children and I needed to get out of the house and work but I do admit it is hard going back and leaving them for the first time in nursery but I believe it's benefitted both me and my children they develop much quicker being around other children than they do an adult all day and I find working and earning my own money rewarding