Tell Count Olaf the chores you wish you could ask your DCs to do this half term - chance to win £300 voucher NOW CLOSED

[CountOlaf]

Hello, hello, hello… It is I, Count Olaf – guardian of the Baudelaire orphans Violet, Klaus and Sunny, and magnificent and respected theatre performer.

Violet is the eldest; she is followed by Klaus, and then Sunny, who is an infant. I have provided these lucky orphans with a rat-infested room - including a complementary pile of rocks at no cost to them, and shampoo that encourages tears - and I believe, therefore, that I am quite justified in asking them to do a range of minor chores for me in return.

My list includes:

• Keep the kitchen gleamingly clean
• Keep the library well dusted
• Polish the floors in the ballroom
• Hang my undergarments in the laundry room after they've washed them
• Weed, mow, and preen the gardens
• Chop wood in the back yard

Alas, these wealthy brats have been utterly spoilt! They've never done a chore in their lives, and therefore believe that I am BU to ask them to carry out such tasks - which is why, my adoring MNer fans, I wish to ask you: which chores you wish you could ask your DCs to do?

I feel your anguish having to spend more time with your DCs since it’s half term, so what chores do you wish you could ask your DCs to do during half term? Would you like your moody teenager to be able to whip up a Michelin star meal? Or your toddler to not only put away their toys, but also hoover the lounge? Whether it’s something small like wanting your DCs to do the washing up or make their own beds, or something more elaborate like wishing they would Marie Kondo your wardrobe or build you a garden retreat, tell me, Count Olaf - and I will reward one of you with a £300 voucher.

Yours most handsomely,

Count Olaf

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

ooh it would be keeping their room tidy

Oh I wish I could ask the children to throughly clean and declutter the house for me while I put my feet up, read a magazine and sip a glass of wine!!

Iron whilst he watches cartoons, one cannot expect to do nothing whilst watching tv!

I'd like mine to make a good, hot cup of tea too. She is good on the gardening though - lots of seeds have been planted.

Pair up all their stray socks which remain in a neglected pile until I get round to sorting them out (usually when we've reached 'crisis no socks in the drawers' point). Most of the socks are the DCs' so they should be the ones to sort them out but they don't seem to have the patience.

I wish my lo's could clean the toilets ( especially my sons toilet blugh)

If you're talking dream world and wishful thinking. I would love them to make me cups of tea and clean up after themselves, cut the grass, clean out the chickens (asked for by them), load the dishwasher and be quiet as mice during half terms and school holidays - and then I come back to the real world!

walk the dog and tidy up

This half-term I have two of my DD at home - one is 17, the other 10. Firstly, I would like them to get on and work together - that way any chores would take half the time. My biggest wish is that they would sort their room so they can put their clothes away and also that, between them, they would do the washing, put it in the dryer and then fold and sort it. If they could actually manage to put dirty crocker into the dishwasher too, I would be over the moon but, I fear that is a step too far!

Mine need motivation to clean up after cooking and putting the bloody stuff away after using it

Other than that they should be emptying the dishwasher and putting their dirty dishes into the dishwasher

Walking the dogs
Making their beds, generally keeping their detritus contained in their rooms
Choosing one meal each week to prepare for the family.

See, I don't really ask much of them.

Ok, so they can start on the ironing mountain and then move onto cooking dinner.

Then they can tidy their rooms and hoover the stairs. That would be me happy. I hate those chores.

Far too young for chores I think but imagine how amazing life would be if she could do the cooking cleaning washing etc.

Or just tidy up her own toys.....

I would like DS to take charge of lunch, making his and his sisters sandwiches, choosing something they both eat, being a bit creative maybe, with extras to make it a proper lunch. Making sure they both have a drink, plus pudding for after.

Then for DS to rope in DD to clear the table and wash the pots. Have them work together as a team no arguing. To go in the kitchen and for it to be in the state it was before.

It would be good to see DS's creative side and also taking his sister into account, I think if he chose her favourites that they both mutually like, DD will be impressed at her brother, maybe we can have a day with no arguing and them playing together nicely.

I was a lot younger than DS when I was let loose in the kitchen. It would be nice to see them work together tidying up and recycling.

I wish my 1 year old could stop throwing food on the floor! Would save me a job!

I wish my two would make own packed lunch! Also unpack debris from lunch box and wash out food flask after school.
I think this is reasonable as they begged me to change from school dinners and promised to help...

Mop the open plan kitchen dinner and pick up the dog poo in the garden. She's 2 though so I'm not sure she'll get round to it...

To be honest I would be happy for my teenage son to just pick up after himself let alone do chores for other people! I t would be great if he could reuse the odd towel once in a while instead of collecting the entire contents of the airing cupboard in various corners of his bedroom . . But Ho Hum we live in hope!

I'd like my 6yo to age 10 years to be a strapping lad who could dig over the vegetable patch for me.

the ironing!

Having three boys who regularly miss the toilet bowl I would love them to scrub the toilet, walls, floors and skirting boards as maybe that would teach them to aim better!

I wish they would wake up
Make their beds,
Come and make my bed and clean up my room.
Wash me and bring my freshly ironed clothes. Go around the house picking up the trail of destruction I leave behind me. Make me breakfast and make the babies milk and porridge. Feed us both. Wipe our faces after. Leave me to peacefully play with my toys (phone) whilst they clean the kitchen, wash up, mop floors, prep veg for dinner etc... come and tell me loads of jokes and bring me fresh clean clothes after I spilled my breakfast down me. Pick up all the cushions I kicked off the sofa, and if by some chance I feel like swinging on the curtains whilst they're changing the babies next nappy, fix them back up. Clean up again. Run around looking for everyone's shoes whilst I still play with my phone.
Get me and each other ready to go out. Pay for our day out and push me around in the pushchair and pass me a latte and magnum to keep me happy.
Wipe all the marks off the walls doors tv flow everywhererrrreeeeee and make all the meals whilst I draw on the walls with their favourite most expensive face paint. Then come wash it all off.
Clean the bathroom 10 times a day because I might just pee all over the seat to annoy them.
Put me to bed at 8pm and then entertain the baby and bath her and put her to bed whilst I sleep so lovely without a care in the world. I won't even mess about with my phone I promise to be good and sleep the whole night and not come downstairs and destroy it whilst their busy doing laundry and ironing and stuff. I will let them drink their tea in peace.
Even just 1 day. Just one.

Well since she is now too big to get up chimneys I have had to rethink her chores.We will be decorating next week,she said she would be having friends round,I think that would speed the painting up no end .
I am also teaching her to iron since she is alone in thinking that clothes need it.
She complained that I shrank so me jeans so she will be helping with the washing now or go without clean clothes.
Cooking,she knows how but we will batch cook for the freezer.
She will revise for end of year tests after the half term.
She will feed the cats in the morning as I am not working and need a not to be clawed into submission but have a wee lie in.
I'd go a happy go lucky,cheery disposition at all times but she is a teenager and this is not fiction!

The gardening, the dishes, the bathroom, the dusting, the hoovering etc etc!

I wish my children would clear the garden which appears to have become the place where good toys went to die last summer and their decaying corpses remain. Honestly I'd be embarrassed if it weren't for the fact that the front garden is so much, much worse!