Hello, hello, hello… It is I, Count Olaf – guardian of the Baudelaire orphans Violet, Klaus and Sunny, and magnificent and respected theatre performer.
Violet is the eldest; she is followed by Klaus, and then Sunny, who is an infant. I have provided these lucky orphans with a rat-infested room - including a complementary pile of rocks at no cost to them, and shampoo that encourages tears - and I believe, therefore, that I am quite justified in asking them to do a range of minor chores for me in return.
My list includes:
- Keep the kitchen gleamingly clean
- Keep the library well dusted
- Polish the floors in the ballroom
- Hang my undergarments in the laundry room after they've washed them
- Weed, mow, and preen the gardens
- Chop wood in the back yard
Alas, these wealthy brats have been utterly spoilt! They've never done a chore in their lives, and therefore believe that I am BU to ask them to carry out such tasks - which is why, my adoring MNer fans, I wish to ask you: which chores you wish you could ask your DCs to do?
I feel your anguish having to spend more time with your DCs since it’s half term, so what chores do you wish you could ask your DCs to do during half term? Would you like your moody teenager to be able to whip up a Michelin star meal? Or your toddler to not only put away their toys, but also hoover the lounge? Whether it’s something small like wanting your DCs to do the washing up or make their own beds, or something more elaborate like wishing they would Marie Kondo your wardrobe or build you a garden retreat, tell me, Count Olaf - and I will reward one of you with a £300 voucher.
Yours most handsomely,
Count Olaf
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