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MNHQ

Let Fairy Non Bio know your thoughts on how a new baby can affect your relationships - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

194 replies

AmeliaMumsnet · 23/01/2017 12:26

As part of our partnership with Fairy Non Bio, we’ve produced our first ever Mumsnet Babies Podcast. There are ten episodes in the series and so far we’ve released five. Episode three is about relationships and you can listen to it here. Fairy Non Bio would like you to listen to the podcast whenever you can, and then discuss how having a new baby has impacted your relationships.

It’s difficult to imagine how much having a new baby can alter different relationship dynamics until it actually happens. With work schedules, sleeping patterns and responsibilities changing, you may feel that your relationship with your partner has drastically changed as you’re no longer each other’s ‘number one’, or even that your relationships with friends or family have been put under strain.

Fairy Non Bio would like to hear how your relationships have changed with the arrival of a new baby. Have you had any trouble with the expectations of your parents or in-laws? Maybe you’ve found that friends without children have been unsupportive of your new responsibilities? Or that a wedge has been driven between you and a close friend because of differing parenting styles? How have you and your DP navigated making sure you both have time for each other, and for yourselves while battling through the exhaustion and new parent fog?

Everyone who posts on the thread will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you want to rate the Mumsnet Babies Podcast, please go to the iTunes store and add a review!

Thanks, and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ

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Let Fairy Non Bio know your thoughts on how a new baby can affect your relationships - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
kittykomp · 29/01/2017 15:38

It can take up time that would have previously been spent with your partner. It's important to make time for each other

julieef · 29/01/2017 16:40

A new baby can affect a relationship greatly, but if a couple works together on this, then it should be easier. The strain can come when one parent does not help the other, thus making the main parent more tired leading to more irritability and then arguments happen. It is important for the first few weeks to rest when the baby sleeps, but also important for the parents to get into a routine as well.

JJJWWW · 29/01/2017 16:55

Can be difficult to find the time for each other with a new baby

stewaris · 29/01/2017 17:09

My eldest son was such a trying baby. Cried all the time, had really bad colic and my XH decided he best way to cope was for him to work away and leave me on my own. Needless to say it didn't work out. Eldest son has grown up but is, frankly, still as grumpy as he was as a child1

Cailin7 · 29/01/2017 18:57

It is hard to find time to spend with one another especially when you are so tired.

hmariez · 29/01/2017 20:00

Very limited time together, less show of affection from husband. Feel less attractive to my husband

emiai · 29/01/2017 20:02

Fatigue can be a real off putter, rest as much as you can when baby does!

Pmliu · 29/01/2017 20:12

I knew I would have a lot less time for my hubby but I was totally unprepared on how busy I would be, being a parent is really a full time job & full of challenges. Now that I have 3 little ones, my hands are full, we get our relax time and us time when the kids are asleep.

finleypop · 29/01/2017 20:14

We did not change all that much, we were a tight knit pair that became a tight knit trio

bugzie92 · 29/01/2017 20:18

I don't think anyone can ever prepare themselves for the challenges a baby brings to a relationship! we are still together but its been a tough, sometimes uphill battle. We were both very young when we had our son, but love him to bits!

farhanac · 29/01/2017 22:07

Never realised just how jealous the eldest would be of their baby brother

sbruin1122 · 29/01/2017 22:35

I became much closer to the in-laws

GillianY1 · 30/01/2017 00:59

Having a new baby is undoubtably difficult and will be a huge test of how strong your relationship is. You will feel tired and ratty and some days you will feel like everything is your partners fault. But there are great times too when you enjoy watching your baby grow. As long as you both talk to each other, consider each others feelings and realise you are both tired and stressed but can love each other and help each other through it, then there will be far more amazing times than difficult times :-)

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/01/2017 08:07

Having a baby together felt like it strengthened the bond between me and my partner. We just adapted and changed how we spent time together. Going on nights outs as a couple was definitely off the cards for a long while..

phillie1 · 30/01/2017 10:22

planning everything in advance rather than just doing things on the spur of the moment

shydaylily · 30/01/2017 10:44

Its hard work looking after a new baby and keeping hubby feeling loved, lots of cuddles.

perfectlybroken · 30/01/2017 11:02

With my husband I felt I just found another side to him, him as a dad, the tenderness he showed them as babies, and the time he gives them now they are getting bigger. Some of dh's family were a bit wary of me. I'm from a different culture and much more educated than them. But it turned out we parent in a similar way, and particularly with his sister it has really taken those barriers down.

strawberrisc · 30/01/2017 11:02

Having my daughter brought us so much closer than we had been in a very long time. When the realities of a newborn hit my partner it then pushed us apart.

perfectlybroken · 30/01/2017 11:04

And also, I feel like i understand my own parents better now. Like when I think of things that happened as I was growing up that maybe weren't ideal, I realise they were just human, and doing their best with the various things they were trying to juggle.

star1000 · 30/01/2017 11:24

Which parent should get up first in the morning?? A constant frustration in this house - I'm sure the husband ignores the sounds of babies cry and pretends he's in a deep sleep! Something you need to discuss and agree on whose turn it is to get up each morning.

southernsun · 30/01/2017 11:44

We were under no illusions that our relationship would take more of a back seat once our ds was born but we made sure we spent quality time together as a family and as a couple when we could, banning phones from the time together helped make sure we werent distracted by facebook etc.

hayleyjw29 · 30/01/2017 12:00

we always took it in turns to do feed, late night ect as i think its really important for the father to be involved, we also took it in turns to have a lie in when needed

Summerholidayblues · 30/01/2017 12:20

I think it has brought me closer to my mum and MIL, although I have to bite my tongue more when they offer non-stop advice!
With my DH, we have to make sure we create time to talk about things other than the kids and make the most of times to do that (e.g. When they are asleep in the car!) We also had to accept that we would lose evenings together for the first 4 months-ish but to make sure that was only a short-lived phase!

mamof3boys · 30/01/2017 12:24

My husband had a lot to put up with when I had my first baby as I was so focused on my DS that I didn't have room for anyone else. It got easier as time went on and now we have three children between the ages of 6 and 10. We persevered with our relationship through all the difficulties and anxieties that come with becoming parents.

daisymaebee · 30/01/2017 12:46

Having a baby has been a wonderful experience for my husband and I. We have become even closer and function as a unit. We both give each other time to continue with hobbies and interests. It has affected relationships with I'm afraid to say many of our friends. There are lots who don't have children of their own and they don't seem to make time for us anymore. When we do see them we try ever so hard not just to talk baby at them, which is difficult as it's our proudest moment as a couple to date. We have found that we are already involving baby in everything, and I am sure she is going to become the worlds greatest plant hunter and artist heehee. So we have really found out who are real friends are and the ones that we want as part of our extended family from having a baby. People move on and take different directions but we are very happy having a baby together