How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

My teenagers 16& 17 are under huge pressure to go to university- from their school. It's just expected. I have family in Germany & Switzerland where the options seem much wider

I think it must be really hard being a teenager today. There has always been a lot of pressure "to be cool" but I can imagine thats amplified by having the latest gadgets and electronics. Also, as a victim of bullying I can not imagine what online bullying is like, at least when I went home I left the bully behind, these days thats not the case.

I feel we had a lot less pressure as teenagers to grow up and not only look a certain way but also less pressure to follow the crowds!

I would say definitely technology and peer pressure. I mean, sure, we had peer pressure but some of the things I hear about now is ridiculous. For me, it was mooching off school, smoking and back-chatting teachers. Now it seems to be drugs, sex and how many followers / likes on facebook / twitter / instagram.

I feel sorry for this generation, and the future generations if they follow. We spent our free time outside, climbing trees, riding our bikes, catching tadpoles with a jam jar. Now, they spend most of their time in front of a screen, be it a TV, computer or phone. They are missing out on the ever-changing world, and their life! Shame really.

Same stresses, being bullied, am i thin enough, sexy enough , popular enough.
How do i french kiss, how do you do it etc,

But today i think much worse for them due to social media everything is magnified and although the answers are out there. We didnt believe our parents 20 years ago, so why would they now. When you a teen everything is dramatic but its such a small part of your life which scarred me for years , i so wish i was stronger back then

There's no doubt my 14 year old son is exposed to more sex, drugs and violence on TV etc than I was, but thankfully he is also much more savvy than I was at his age.

Technology in general. The issues when I was younger were so small compared to now. Like having to keep up with the latest mobile etc..

The main difference now is of course social media, I am just so glad we didn't have the worry of everyone knowing everything about you

These days they seem to be more stressed out about what they friends say on social media and having the latest technology where is my day it was when was you going to have your first kiss !!

I think the biggest difference is the different social media platforms now available. When I was a teen if someone was bullying you or not generally not being very nice this was at least left a the school gates. Nowadays this can continue over social media and so it can be much more difficult to deal with.

I think generally. the teenage years are quite imperative to the development of ones self - it's never an easy time no matter how much technology or lack of it there is, when I was a teen, money pressure's were still tight for my parents, just as they are for us now - there was still a need to have the latest whatever it was, as a general feeling of acceptance with others. I think teens seem a lot more switched on now than we were, and seem to embrace peoples individuality more than twenty something years ago.

I think the main difference is that kids can't get away from the stresses and pressures now. With mobile phones and social media there's no escape and everything is out there as a permenant reminder everyone can see.

My teens are under a lot more pressure from their friends to have the latest technology or to be wearing the "right brand" of clothing which is very hard on both them and parents as the desired brands usually cost an awful lot of money and it's very hard when you have to say no and you know it might cause your child not to fit in.
When I was young you had to have the right style as your peers, but usually it was easily affordable and available with high street brands - there wasn't the choice of a lot of designer stuff available.

When I was a child I was lucky enough to be one of the ones with access to a shared home computer and computer games which I enjoyed, but it was all pretty safe, games were family based and no danger of anything untoward making its way into the home uninvited as Internet was still in its infancy. My kids are also into gaming, but there are a lot more games available, the graphics are more detailed and many games have very unsuitable content and/or language. Many children my teens know have access to these unsuitable 18 rated games and are pressuring my kids to do so, but I will not allow it. Again this is more pressure to fit in.

Social Media is another added pressure as from my teens there is great competition to get the most likes on Instagram or Facebook from friends and there is the added risk from cyber bullying. My boys aren't that into social media sites, they are on them but not using them as frequently as my daughter who is always posting stuff and she feels under pressure from her school friends to post lots of duck-face selfies in crazy poses and I've had to pre-warn her about being very careful about what she posts online (nothing unsuitable so far!) As a parent I've found with children having their own smart phones and laptops it is extremely hard to monitor exactly what they are downloading, posting and looking at. There is a whole new minefield out there compared to what I had to deal with as a child and what my parents had to guide me with. I do think that both teens and parents have a lot more to deal with these days.

Definitely social media causes the most stress. There's no escape from it and everyone seems to be constantly judged. I found out recently that how many likes you have on your profile picture is very important. Which did make me wonder why they keep changing them all the time then! Every moment is recorded for teens these days and their image is online so they pay more attention to how they look.

I'm really surprised how many people have said they think social media is the biggest stress for teens now compared to when we were that age. I wonder if people have been a bit led in saying that by the OP? I'm sure NCS are open to a range of views
To me things just seem more pressurised for teens today. I think it is quite hard to know what has contributed to that, seems something of a snow-balling effect with everything just getting bigger and faster all the time for them. One thing is educationally things seem to have got more competitive and stressful. Also there's a celebrity and success culture which can be very pressurising especially when appearance and conformity to norms are emphasised.
Strongest feeling is simply that childhood especially was more relaxed in the 70's!

I think the costant use of of technoloy must be a huge stress. I think the constant bombardmet of information can be just too much, plus the pressure of never really being able to escape, the constant need to impress ones piers and the challenges with on-line bullying are without doubt added stresses for anyone, but prticularly teens.

I think they have more to stress about, especially when it comes to clothes and appearance, too much pressure on them to look perfect!

The internet is a source of stress for teens these days. I half wish we'd had it when I was at school so I would have had more sources for my homework than the armful of tatty textbooks in the village library, but on the other hand, you knew that if someone wanted to gossip about you, they had to do it one person at a time on their parents phone bill. You also didn't have to worry about the fact that every single person in any room has a camera in their pocket. Bullying by peers can now catch on globally and that's awful.

Clothing and keeping up with trends was a big stress back then - right shoes, right bag, right jacket or criticism ensued. Now, actually I think that has fallen away a large degree. Individual style is more welcomed.

This stress has flipped to tech though. Right phone, right tablet, right laptop, or criticism ensues.

Seems to be cyclical. Who knows what this will transfer onto in the next generation.

when i was in school we were taught typing on a typewriter nobody had mobile phones and you had to actually call round your friends house or use the house phone where you had to talk to there mum first, now its all about social media how many likes you get on a picture, mobile phones there's an app for anything the stress for today teenagers in this media minefield are immense,to having the right gadgets to thinking everyone has it better than you because of the constant bragging on media channels by there friends,plus the potential for online bullying is worrying im lucky as my teenager is very sensible online cant see me letting his younger brothers have Facebook anytime soon they are less so ive told them at least 18 lol ,

I think the bullying is much worse now. What with everything now being online. I think todays Teens have that much worse. x

I think the bullying situation is handled much better now though.

I was bullied at secondary school for years, and no=one was interested. My parents told me to man up, teachers were not interested.

We are all much more bully aware now.

I remember there not being such awful pressure to look like a stick insect, and the ability to fall flat on your face, without everyone filming or following your every move, I couldn't have dealt with that as a teen in the 1980's! The pressure of having the "right" type of phone, for fear of being bullied, I am glad we didn't have that sort of pressure, I'd have been bullied without mercy! Having said that, I remember you either had to be a "casual" or "rocker" at our school, I was a goth, but everyone was scared of me so I never had any trouble! ;)

Social media has increased the pressure for teenagers, they are far more image conscious and insecure.

The pressures of looks, coolness, popularity, friends and the other sex all seem the same as in my time. Sometimes thier expressed in different ways (particularly with social media) but essentially the same.

The education pressure is worse. It's stepped up several notches from my time. This all wraps up into the higher pressure to get a good life that seems to need so much more effort than it did for us.

The one thing that seem the biggest difference is organisational pressure. I'm sure we've all noticed that life has become so much more instant and complex over the last few decades. The relaxed pace of life of the 80s is long gone, Instead we all have 986 things to coordinate each day. Well for us this has crept up on us over the last 25 years. If your a teen who was carefully looked after until the age of 12 then this effect hits you like a train over just a couple of years instead. Gone are the days of being in one class with the same group all week then coming home to mum and dad like we were. Instead they organise different lessons in different groups at different locations, followed by extra caricular activities, instant technological communications, their own unique learning plans, ovelapping exams etc. Being 15 now is more complex that running a bank in 1970.