How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

The only thing I remember getting stressed about was making friends and my exams. Now I think teens have so much more to deal with social media, the internet, phones so they never get a break and fitting in.

I think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology, they are also under alot of pressure at school. when i was a teenger i didnt worry about what i had or what i didnt have, i was hapy how things were, now kids want more and more !

Every single thing they do or say can be caught on film or sound track.
'Everyone' goes to uni and there are some erm faddy types of gcse and A levels that can get amazing grades adding pressure to those doing the sciences etc ("proper" subjects)
So much pressure to look good all the time!

PS my dd blossomed doing ncs this summer. Absolutely couldn't recommend it enough. She was even on BBC news & Tinie Tempah s Instagram ??

DD gets stressed about her clothes, having the latest phone, getting her GCSEs was a Hugh Hugh stressed ( compared to doing o'levels)

Fortunately DD got the GCSEs for her to do the course she wanted at college.

School seemed to pile on a lot of pressure not only about school work but wearing uniform and numerous other rules thst weren't around in my school years.

Todays teenagers seem to have a lot of FOMO (Fear of missing out) Thanks to social media which is one thing we never had, they are also contactable and able to contact anyone 24/7 yet when I was a teenager a phone box was the only option of contacting someone when I was out and about, also the images and stories online that they are exposed to 24 hours a day are so different to the newspaper and magazines that I had

I think there's more pressure today to look good, strive to be like celebrities and keep up with the latest fashion. When I was younger I didn't know anything about makeup etc.

I think social media and mobile phones add so much stress to teenagers. So much bullying and threats made outside school. It means at the end of the day kids can't leave their tormentors behind, they are still getting in touch. I think face books new dislike button will be used very cruelly on some children. On a positive note it's a great way to always be in touch with friends and is a hube help with schoolwork.

I was bullied terribly as a teenager - mostly verbally but also physically at times. Playing devils advocate I'm trying to work out if social media might have helped as a) it might be easier to find like minded friends and communities and b) you have something you can report. I wore what the hell I liked, mostly from jumble sales with army boots, and not sure I'd do any different if a teen now.

I think schools take bullying much more seriously now, nothing was done for me by the school after had head cracked open and there was no such thing as an anti-bullying policy.

I went to a cack school which didn't teach me everything on the curriculum and threatened to expel me a few times. Left with the best results they ever saw due entirely to my own work (borrowed revision books from friends and photocopied past papers from library). Picked an a level college in another city, and went to a top Oxbridge college. I see how much support is given to DD1 at secondary and bloody wish I had that.

Not knocking hardship kids have today but don't believe things were always better when we were growing up.

NCS sounds great BTW, definitely going to consider it for DD1.

I'm 32 now so my teenage years seem a looong way away! Although I found being a teenager hard, it was SO much easier than how I would imagine it would be to be a teenager today.
Teenages look so much older now, especially girls - I look around & there are these girls with perfect hair & immaculate make-up applied far more adeptly than I could ever do, even now! When I was 13 - I had cropped hair coloured with sun-in (think Justin Timberlake circa 1995) wore sports clothes, no make-up & was blissfully unconcerned with my body image. Those were the days!! Within a few years, friends were dieting & then it became harder - nowadays though, there is so much pressure for young people, girls in particular, to look good, to dress well & to fit in. The advent of social media only makes this harder - the ability to spread an unflattering photo or a compromising video with the world at the click of a button is terrifying.
Cyberbullying is the darker side of social media & it's harrowing how many young people in the UK have taken their own lives & during the inquest, cyber bullying is identified as one of the causes. There was bullying when I was at school, but at least folk could go home & get some respite - now, it seems there is no escape.
Wow - I didn't know I felt so strongly about this.
I have a young son now & I am scared about the world he is growing up in. I want to protect him - but I know that kids grow up & he'll make his own choices. I just hope I can give him a solid foundation upon which to build the person he wants to be, knowing that whatever happens, whatever he chooses to do - it doesn't matter, as long as he is kind, considerate & respectful.

I was very shy as a teenager and a bit nerdy... from a single parent family with 4 younger siblings at home so money was tight. I got by alright despite some 'normal face to face' bullying. At least I was safe at home! Today I think social media would make life very hard for me and the difference between the parents who can afford the gadgets for their teens and the rest must be bigger than ever. I'm glad I'm all grown up now :)

There was no mobile phone / text stresses when I was young - kinda glad really!

Academically, I think our children are under so much pressure nowadays to achieve - more and more is expected of them at an earlier age.

Conspicuous consumption was frowned on when I was a teenager (1980s). I teach teenagers now and it's the norm. They have much more comfortable lives in material terms - much better/more choice of food, central heating the norm etc (my childhood was quite privileged too but my parents had wartime values e.g. Put another jumper on). Teenagers seem to be able to talk to their parents more now, which is good. They travel more and have more diverse friends in terms of ethnicity. They are more tolerant and often better informed. I don't think they are more stressed but I agree that too much knowledge of e.g. sex is just as bad as too little.

Competition for the latest 'stuff', and peer pressure has moved onto social media where it is harder to be switched off or ignored.

When I was a teen, we couldnt wait to get home and find out who was no.1 on Top of the Pops,Or to see Blue Peter and see what we could attempt to make to get a blue badge. I rarely got a phone call or phoned my friends as we would see each other the next day.I loved taking photos and waiting for the pictures to be developed only to discover a few headless photos !! but this added to the fun!!

My point is that I and everyone else in the 80's WAITED !! and I think I appreciated these things more.Everything nowadays is at our fingertips,photos at the ready, no headless pictures 'cos they've been photoshopped to perfection.Watch anything at any time on demand.Ir's like we're not allowed to have spare time or allowed to be 'bored'

peer pressure is about the schools and teachers put excess pressure on teens abour GCSE results and grades which I did not get, it is also much worse that teens are contactable by everyone day and night which I didn't have.

Facebook and Twitter trolling was not around and nor was any of the other technological apps etc when I was young and the teens today have all of that to contend with.

I think life was rather less stressful in my teen years

I think technology plays a huge part in stress for teenagers now. When I was a teenager I was always able to escape from any problems at school or with friends by going to my room and chilling out. Teenagers don't have that option now as the internet is always there.
They also have the worry of very few jobs being available when they leave education which we didn't have, lots of job were available for us.

There's still all the same old problems I faced and now a whole bunch of new tech-related stuff to worry about too. Social media has it's good side but it must be a bitch at times if you're a teen these days.

I think the internet and mobile phones can put a lot of pressure on teenagers today, especially if cyber-bullying is involved. When I was young, there were other pressures, but overall, life was a lot less complicated and your home was a safe haven from any bullies or unkind peers.

It's more pressure,how media say they must look,what they must wear
To much pressure from the Internet

When I was a teenager I didn't have to worry about forgetting my phone. My dd acts like it's the end of the world if she doesn't have it on her.

I think we are losing real time connections which was hard enough when I was young but now the internet means that it's all very superficial, eg how many likes for validation. There's no bog standard youth spaces it's all money orientated. And if you haven't got money the streets. Children are not allowed to be children and have proper laugh out loud fun there's all the rules that socially we are expected to follow. Social media is pervasive and its frightening at what is actually allowed on social media that even I as an adult bulk at so God knows how a child feels. Adverts which play onto our insecurities means we buy into a culture that gets us into debt makes us miserable and forget that we are all part of the same whole. At a very basic level all we need is love, shelter food in our bellies and compassion and I think the internet has a lot to answer for with the erosion of family values. There's a very dark side as well as good. The good would be access to information should you require it across all ages teens to 90.

I think there is massive pressure with the internet, they have to conduct themselves well on FB, have the risk of being bullied etc. I am so glad that the internet wasnt prevalent when I was a teenager!

I really worry about the level of stress modern teenagers are subjected to - through having to be so tech savvy just to keep up with their peers education wise, the amount social media that seems to have a complete control over their lives...not to mention all the economic and political troubles going on in today's world. Although it probably wasn't as black & white as we thought in our teenage years you tended to understand what the threats were and where they were coming from..now it seems they are hidden and fear rules the day :(

I think the biggest difference is phones. We had one communal phone (not hands free) in the hall so ever conversation would be overheard by my hawk like mum (sweet nothings to boyfriends included). On the plus side, no one had camera phones so any youthful antics weren't recorded to haunt us at another (and more sober) time.
Cyber bullying didn't exist as no one I knew emailed in school, we had dial up broadband which took an age but no social media, Twitter etc so didn't know if everyone was out having more fun than us.
I think life was a lot lot easier for us although arranging nights out/changing plans was a nightmare especially as my schoolfriends were scattered over a large area