How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

I agree re technology and all the good and bad things that this involves. The pressure to be 'present' all the time is tricky as is the housing/job issue. It's much harder now I think in terms of expectations for young people.

i think youngsters are drawn into technology and trends such as using ipads and gadgets in schools and then this leads to pressure for parents to buy for the home.
peer pressure is also rife nowadays, more ways to get bullied- online via social media. lots and lots of pressure on the young ones.
everything is becoming electronic, its a race to see who has the most followers, likes, snaps, friends ,pokes or whatever. thats what defines staus amongst teens i think, i may be wrong but thats my take on it.
so sad to see the generation being sucked into this social media storm which brings with it its own pressures

Keeping up with friends is now a big one, having the best clothes, phone and gadgets, going out with your long list of friends and being "in a relationship". Not to mention looking the part so you are unrecogniseable among your group of friends as you all look the same, weigh the same and dress the same. I blame social media. I worried about my grades.

When we were teenagers we seemed to be able to spend all day in town on a fiver - we were happy with window shopping and a coffee - nowadays everything seems to cost so much more, the cinema, clothes, the right trainers and wow the cost of technology - as so many others have commented, when we were teenagers, some of my friends didn't even have a home phone let alone a £500 smart phone! Wow! And yet even with all of that, teenagers these days seem more susceptible to things like self harm, drink and drug abuse and all kinds of things that I'm sure existed when I was younger, but no one talked out about!

The instant contact available today on the internet makes children more anxious when they do not hear from their friends for a while.

I think that being a teenager in the 70's was a breeze compared to what todays teenagers have to put up with. Technology puts enormous pressure on them-everything spreads like wildfire and kids can be humiliated on a massive level. Also so much pressure to look like a supermodel and wear branded stuff......It's a nightmare.

I have mixed feeling on the internet in general. Going to an all girls school, catty puts it mildly. Most of my stresses revolved around will they be my friend today or not? Trying to fit in and keep up! When I look back on how I used to look at school I dread to think what the likes of facebook would make out of it and what has now become a society of body conscious women! I would have been bullied for sure.
Homework was a complete chore, stressing about getting to the library to read through thousands of books, taking notes, then going home to write it all out again. Now its good old Google!

Social Media can be so dangerous. Teenagers are so vulnerable and think they know so much, they do grow up quicker than we did, I was still playing hide and seek at 14 and knew very little about boys, etc. There is so pressure on appearances and labels, girls are wearing make up far too young, and wear clothes that lead very little to the imagination.
I think face book can lead to bullying and should be monitored closely.

When I was a teen in the 00s, there was a similar pressure on the way you look, but not even close to the amount of pressure today.

People wanted to look a certain way to impress people that they knew, or people that knew people that they knew. You wore your nicest outfit in case you saw anyone while you were out. We had social media when I was a teen (MySpace, Piczo, Bebo), but generally speaking you had people that you knew on there, or at least people with mutual friends. Today however, people are concerned about their images to impress people that they don't know, to the point where they will alter images of themselves with filters and Photoshop so that they can give off that "look".

The problem with this of course, is that they also have real life. So they begin sort of living a double life; they're impossibly gorgeous and popular with 4000 followers online, but an ordinary 17 year old with 1 or 2 real good friends in real life. They become obsessed with their more glamorous online lives and miss out on having a normal (real) life.

the pressure now on teenagers is more stressful in comparison to when i was a teen ,
fashion social media, gadgets , ,

completley different pressures but the same issues. for example the need to fit in is the same, but with social media this has magnified the whole need to fit in. by seeing what other people have been doing on facebook etc makes teenagers think that everybodies life is more interesting than their own Everything is in their faces now and its hard to get away from peer pressure. Life was much more simple in the 1980s

I think my teens have an easier time than I did.

I give far more parental support, they get a lot of practical and financial support with extra curricular activities, sports, me driving them everywhere.
THey have a much higher self esteem, I also see technology as a fantastic thing.

I think it was stressful when I was a teen, mainly from exams (2-3 hours study a night) and trying to navigate the social rules in a mixed sex school. However social media has added a global pressure on our teens with great opportunities when positive but the ability to bully or coerce on a global scale rather than limited to one's school and local community. Teenagers often make daft decisions which with social media can remain there to hunt them whereas I just have to deal with my own memory not a public humiliation for ever. The good and opportunities is much better but the bad is much worse.

Has to be the Internet. If bullying occurred in the past home was usually a haven but with technology there appears to be no respite.

The internet has to be the biggest issue. It is scary that today's teen mistakes can be visible online and not so easily forgotten.

My two kids are both different. My 17 yo was only diagnosed with Aspergers last year and he can get stressed about the smallest things. That's not a fair comparison! The main stresses of my daughter at that age were purely academic. She wanted to be a doctor but fell behind with grades, then physiotherapy. But the competition for university places was so hot that she didn't get any offers.
When I was the same age there seemed to be much less pressure to succeed academically and there was much less pressures to go to university. But there did seem to be more pressure to get a job.
Neither of my kids are materialistic and are really not that bothered about the latest tech or fashion. "But mum, I don't want a phone with the Internet on it. I won't use it and it's more to go wrong". No stresses there!

I think we didn't have the pressure of social media back then it's more stressful now for teens and I know from my daughter the pressure some teens have and bullying some teens experience through social media

Definitely technology -

Not wanting to be the last one to get a phone or be allowed to join Facebook etc
Not getting a new phone every other month...at least that's how often it seems!

Stresses about getting the tech, then keeping up with the new versions and what you are allowed to do on it, that's a lot of stresses that we didn't face (mobiles started when I was in high school but it wasn't a big deal and they were only basic then too) plus they have the ones that we did face like acne, homework, exams

I believe the stresses & worries of teenagers today are worse than when I was a teenager. There is a lot more pressure to act in a certain way, to wear the right things & to look a certain way. Social media is another added pressure. Teenagers don't have any down time from their friends.
There are added financial pressures. University fees, car insurance & the cost of housing are all so much more expensive than when I was going through this age.

A couple of issues spring to mind. Firstly, technology; my daughter loves doing all kinds of different things on her laptop, some of which I'd say are useful pursuits while others are just time-wasting. We seem to have endless arguments about how much screen time she should be allowed, and it's a constant source of stress for us all. Secondly, I never used to have a problem finding other kids to play with when I was young; I'd just ring their house or go out and see who was around - and I'm certainly not the most outgoing person. Yet the trouble I've had trying to get my daughter together with her own friends...people seem to be busy all the time, every evening, every weekend. It's quite isolating because my daughter doesn't have brothers or sisters either, and she ends up feeling lonely. Whatever activities seem to be taking up so much of people's time nowadays, I'm definitely out of the loop, because I just can't work it out.

A lot of changes. In particular the perceived need to have a mobile phone.

I think one of the biggest stresses for teens today is exams.

When I was a teen, a huge proportion of my peers couldn't have cared a kipper. But there was work for the unqualified. And there were opportunities for people to gain skills on the job.

These days young people know there is only NMW work for those without their GCSEs, if there is work at all.

Similarly, those aiming for university are more squeezed on grades than ever before.

I used to stress about wether my frosted peach lipstick suited me, nowadays i see teenagers flipping out if their phone battery is about to die and they don't have a charger. It literally is the end of the world for them! How did we cope with a landline and our mums interrupting us constantly to tell us off for clogging up the line?!

One of the great things now is pressure to out do everyone at the Prom. When I was younger it was a school disco and I went on the bus

I didn't have to show off I knew about electronical gadgets nor that I had them all. It used to be pretty and popular ...not an easy target as I'm not good at keeping up with things I was not interested...