How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

I was 16 in the early 70s. DD is 16 now. The main stresses are still friends, boys, school work, bullying/what to aim for in life (Uni or not Uni), boys, make up, bras, periods blah blah blah.

Tech is another way children compare amongst themselves, do you have a Kindle/iPad/iPhone etc., but we had 'must have' items which got you in the club, as it were, too. I can't remember what any of them were as I never had any of them!

It is easier to meet up (friend's child: "how did you ever get to meet up with your friends before mobiles?" "We made arrangements in advance", child looks aghast!), chat and so on.

These days they lack the unifying nature of tv and radio. Everyone was at home on Sunday listening to the new charts. A popular tv series meant everyone would see it at the same time and be talking about it the next day.

They are more aware of the rest of the world these days. Youtube, the internet in general, has brought the furthest flung places closer. For instance, we would have got to Papua New Guinea through books - probably boys own adventure type - and dd can just look it up on Wiki or Youtube etc.

We grew up with the threat of nuclear obliteration. There were warnings about the 4 minute thing. I often thought about what I would do when it went off, would it be better to ensure death by taking a large quantity of pills, or try to survive and risk nuclear deformation and death? DD worries about the treatment of women by ISIS, and throughout the world.

Furthermore, my prep school was often shut due to bomb scares, and I remember having to leave a shop once for the same reason (I was v small and with my mum and brothers). This doesn't seem to happen at all these days. DD has filed obediently out of school to stand in the car park/courts for fire alarm practise a few times. We did it many times a term; must have been before the bombers agreed a code word with the police to prove it was really them (did that really happen, or was it just a story circulating amongst my peers?).

i feel that the stresses are very much the same exam stress, friend stress and boy/girl stress they now just come in different forms other than the bullies as before once you went home you were away from them but now they follow them into the home on electronic devices

I don't remember being stressed when I was a teen. At each step, I chose my next move based on teachers' recommendations, 6th form, university, courses. My teen daughter is much more aware that her decisions have consequences and starting year 10, is already worried about her GCSE results.

My daughter is permanently attached to her phone and is constantly interacting with others over social media. I know it has its downsides, but it is also nice to see how supportive the interactions generally seem and positive and encouraging they are to each other. I also like that she is becoming independent and the phone helps in that we can see where she is and she can contact us when she needs to.

I think the stress builds cumulatively for today's teens too
My DC have some lovely friends but the amount of self-harm around now is alarming and not something I was aware of in the 70's
I think they all worry quite a lot about each other

Social Media is the biggest difference between my child's teenage years and mine. Snap Chat scares me as it is harder to trace the offensive messages and pictures than most sites.
I have a daughter so find girls do get into catty arguments , in my day you would have an argument or fall out and you went home then dealt with it the next day, nine times out of ten it would blow over.
Today if there is a fallout then social media messages and rumours start to spread , everybody else gets involved, the keyboard warriors appear and the problem escalates. My daughter had this problem with one particular girl, unfortunately for her with screen shot all messages and pictures and let the school deal with her. Social bullying is nasty and damaging, I'm just grateful that I have a daughter who is strong and stood up for herself , unfortunately there are many that don't have the same confidence.

i think to be fair it's pretty similar things, popularity, sex, bullying etc. although i do think the presence of online bullying is a worry x

I think a lot of things are the same i.e. how you fit in socially what people think of you hormones, taking exams. but a big difference is that your kids feel the need to have the latest technology which can be expensive and unaffordable for some families.

There seems to be a lot more pressure on teenagers to look good and have the latest gadget or label - fuelled by social media. My daughter seems to think she needs a brand new outfit for every single outing she goes on as every second is captured by social media and she can't be seen in the same outfit twice......

my stresses as a teenager were all about appearances and how i am perceived but because of social media my daughters are inundated in how they shud look,behave, act its so much pressure.

For me its the pressure from peers with having the need to fit in, we didn't have a care when I was my sons age

It's got to be social media When I was a teen it was all to do with word of mouth and it terrifies me to think of all the bullying that can be done via twitter or facebook.

I think they are worse now, seemes even more pressure to get collage and uni corses and facebook etc dont help them normally.

I think life as a teen has always been pretty tough with brain changes hormones and identity crisis in abundance. I think one of the things that has changed is how consumerist we are as a society. For me a happy life is fuelled by acts of altruism and I think teens need opportunities to do good and feel good. Pressures to have the right look and accessories for whichever subculture you are trying to fit into is really hard. Material expectation s that you will have the right smart phone, lap top and car are a big thing for a hound person to deal with.
I also feel time spent sedentary and inside has massively increased , especially for boys who are more likely to be immersed in video game culture. If you can chat with your friends online there's not as much motivation to get out there and do stuff, unless you want an interesting picture to post on your instagram account of course! Online bullying is increasing too. The internet is a huge resource for good to and I hope that as time goes on there's more teenagers following accounts about causes they believe in or hobbies they enjoy rather than celebrities and duck pout accounts.

A lot more pressure on todays kids. Uni. etc.

bad wifi connection is a big teenage stress today!

i suppose today's is more social standing (kind of ironic) given things like facebook, twitter & instagram to name a few, although you dont see the person or speak to the direct half of the time!
when i was a teenager, again it was a social thing but more your friends in a group, say the 10 of you in total and that was that, others could think and say the same things as today but you because you didnt have direct contact with them (friends on social media etc) everything was ok.
Today they get offended if they dont have them on most social media's but when bullying etc starts the person on the receiving end just can not escape like in my day, instead of the 10 friends sticking together and letting it pass now they stand back and dont say anything as that can create the same for them ...

I used to stress loads about being late, because we didn't have mobile phones to let people know if you were behind schedule. Not so much of a problem now.

When we were teens we were stressed about things, but they were soon over and they were real things like people we didn't get on with or things were were doing or trying to do, it was all about us and not about wanting to be someone else. The media wasn't feeding us constant images and role models to try and emulate, we found our own.
For example, there were no celebs, no people famous for nothing. Famous people all had a reason behind their fame, sport, politics, music...no-one like the Kardashians preying on a fake image and on teens trying to emulate them.
We got out and away from everyday stuff that stressed us and socialized with real people. Nothing was imaginary, life was just reality. Things we aspired to were all real too, we got stuff for Xmas for example..we were happy with it mostly. We didn't see stuff way out of our league and worry that we didn't have it or wouldn't get it and wouldn't fit in with those who did. No-one had the really top gear, we all dreamed of one day getting it.
Pity the kids today, they have dreams that are so hard to achieve, and which are almost always pointless and put in their heads by someone trying to use them to make money.

I think they have alot more stress- exams, social media, body image to name a few

Oh crikey and thank god we never had mobile phones and such easy access to photographic evidence when I was behaving very foolishly in my teens!

I think that facebook and the internet has made teenagers stress alot more about their appearance and how they appear to perfect strangers across the world, I think that future finance may also worry some older teens ever being able to move out etc

there's a lot more pressure to go to university now and a lot less chance of getting a job - also the technology is so different - there was no social media then or mobile phones

The pressures on teens nowadays is diabolical - and I have 2. They should be a certain size, have a certain make up style, have the latest phone The use of social media is a nightmare as it is so easy for them to be bullied. I can safely say I'm glad I was a teen in the old days

there was no social media and facebook when i was a teen. where as now you do soething silly as a teen and its on the internet within 5 mins!

Wow today teens is totally different from my day, they stress about everything these days.
How they look,
Facebook and what people are saying,
What there hair looks like,
Laptop,
Ipad,
I think i was more relazed at that age back in my day, Its was all about the fun for me, i didnt care as much as they do these days,