How do today's teenage stresses compare with the kind of things that stressed you out when you were a teen? Talk to the National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

We've been asked by the team at NCS, the country's flagship youth programme for 16&17 year olds, to find out about Mumsnetters' opinions on the kinds of things that stress your teenagers out and how this compares to the trials and tribulations of growing up when you were the same age.

How different is life for today's teenagers? Do you think young people today are under more pressure to keep up with trends and technology? Or perhaps academic expectations are more stressful now than they were when you were young? Are you glad that social media wasn't as important when you were a teenager? What about things that really stressed you out that don't feature in modern teenage life at all?

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "The start of the new academic year is particularly challenging for 16 and 17 year olds today. They are not only dealing with the day to day pressures of social media, coursework and exams, but they're also tasked with laying the foundations for their future after school or college. With pressure growing, it can be difficult for both teens and their parents to take a step back when it comes to making decisions."

"NCS is a truly unique experience that takes teens out of their comfort zone with lots of new experiences, an away from home stay and the opportunity to make lasting new friends friendships. It is an invaluable opportunity to gain confidence and develop the skills they need to follow their dreams."

Share your thoughts on this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

It is more stressful today commencing with getting into a 'good' school, & having reasonable class sizes. Years ago everyone went to the local school along with friends, & the standard of education was high. Technology has to be up to the minute, & clothes have to be designer to be acceptable, otherwise youngsters are upset/bullied. Grades have to be achieved to try to get to university, & it is tough, even on obtaining a decent degree to get a position in the chosen career.

When I was a teen I mainly used to stress over friends and boys. However things were different then. I would actually spend hours on the telephone talking whereas today it's all texting and social media.

My biggest concern for my children growing up is cyber bullying. It frightens me that there is just no way of getting away from it.

It's dreadful in the main but with a few glimpses of hope.

There is the social media pressure. You have to have huge numbers of " friends" . You have to be witty, photogenic, thick skinned, and that's just for social media. You can't get away from it.

There has always been peer pressure and competition around social and sexual success, possessions. It's prob a bit harder because there is so much in terms of media around both and because it's less socially acceptable not to have eg a TV in your bedroom, or a girlfriend when you are 14.

The pressure is younger now.

Worse than that is the huge pressure on exam success. Unless you are a straight A student you feel a failure. And you know you are competing globally, so you may indeed not get into your favoured school or university, because there are competitors from elsewhere who have got those A. And there us no certainty in the job market. You can't assume housing will be there. Even if you do go to university you may be terrified about the debt you are accumulating.

You are also worried, a bit, about Isil and the environment.

On the plus side, though it's still tough if you are gay or disabled, more people stand up for you. It's still shit if you are a redhead. If you are a girl, the pressure to be thin, successful in bed and brain and beauty is dire but there are few jobs you can't do. And people are more tolerant if you get pregnant. And you are more the norm if your parents have split up.

If you live in eg London, people are more tolerant if you are BME or non Christian. They are pretty intolerant if you are Christian which they equate with fundamentalism and stupidity.

So there's hope for our witty, lively teens who promote tolerance even if they don't ever practice it on their parents, but we need to give them love, security and confidence.

when I was a teen we didn't have mobiles or computers, I think the pressures of social media must be hard for teens today. Also I don't think we were as obsessed with how we looked as teens are now, with HD

The one thing that teenagers have that I didn't back in the '80s is access to social media and technology. However, I think that all the things that stressed me as a teenager still exist albeit in a different form. I experienced bullying at school and it wasn't really dealt with back then - it was assumed it would 'toughen you up'. Cyber bullying is probably worse because it is so 'secretive' but then there is far more support for teens these days and awareness of the problem. In my day we lived under the threat of nuclear war, and I imagine teens today will have similar anxieties about the thread from extremist groups (ISIS etc). Exams were just as stressful for me then as for teens now, and the need to gain grades to progress to higher education is unchanged.

today's teenagers get stressed out when they need to charge their smartphones, in my day I got stressed out trying to find a phone box that worked after a 30 min walk to it! sounds like the dark ages now!

I agree kitty- I was a teeneger in the 1970s- bullying was rife, and no- one took it seriously, teachers were simply not interested.

There was so much casual sexism and pawing of girls- even teachers * who were allowed to hit pupils anyway) would hit 14 year old girls on the buttocks with rulers other boys too would poke and prod girls, adults would shrug it off as harmless fun.
Teenagers had far fewer real rights and often no-where to turn to- even police would give kids a clip round the ear.

My teenagers have a far better life.

When I was a teen, we didn't have things like mobile phones and social media, so all bullying was face to face. I think that technology makes bullying worse today.

But schools - and parents take bullying far more seriously now.

I think the biggest stress for teenagers now is technology and in particular, social media, it makes life so much more complicated for kids, the pitfalls of using it and being abused by it are so far reaching, whereas when I was young if we fell out with friends or the like it was very simplistic and visual, now things can escalate far more easily with the use of various platforms. I also think finances are far more of a concern for teenagers now, the pressures on them to pass exams and get good grades is much higher now, because everything is more expensive and the chance of buying a house when they are older is becoming non-existent.

Social media is huge, there was something on the news the other day where teenagers feel the need to wake up in the middle of the night to check things like facebook and twitter! I used to go home and if I wanted to get in touch I'd pick up the phone, none of this constant checking in and commenting, tweeting etc, it is madness! The need to be connected all the time is crazy

It's a myth that all teenagers are a slave to social media.
One of my teenagers doesn't even have a Facebook account, my DD uses hers only rarely. Many of their friends are the same. They only use their mobile phones for the odd message.

I think technology is a massive advantage to teenagers.

I think there is more pressure to be physically perfect - no body fat, no unwanted hair, smooth skin, etc. The pressure is there for both boys and girls.

I'm glad I'm not growing up as a teenager today!

there is so much more pressure with social media presence

Although they do have some different stresses these days - I would have HATED to grow up in an age of social media, mobiles, selfies etc - I think on the whole they worry about the same things I always did: relationships, exams, spots, their future, friends...

I would not have liked social media when I was younger - everything you do has the potential to be documented for all to see!!

While the biggest differences are around tech and the exposure to the outside world, and all of its meanness, 24/7, I think ultimately the pressures for teenagers are similar to years ago. Ultimately, it's the pressure to fit in, to be popular, to be liked, to be cool, to wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, to be seen in the right places and so on.

My son is 14 and so far, he's escaping relatively unscathed, but he's a good-looking boy who's good at sport, is funny and naturally bright and appears to be one of the popular kids who make the teenage years look easy. However, we're not naive enough to believe that he'll always be this way. In comparison, while my teenage years were mainly golden, I remember being racked with self-doubt which he doesn't seem to experience. I'd like to think this will continue but really who knows?

I think the pressure to do well is also one that continues - I know we drill into our son the need to try hard, rather than to excel, as we're keen for him to equate hard work with great results, but I think externally the pressure that's always been there to do well, earn more, live in a big house, drive a great car etc, remain.

They're very similar in that it all stems from insecurity

i never ever had to worry about social media when i was a teen. Luckily it all kicked off a couple of yrs after i left school. I feel so terrible for kids who are cyber bullied these days by cowards who will only say stuff from behind a keyboard.

stress is stress. the issues have changed but stayed the same. money, boys, temptations, exams and peer pressure. but there is more help available

So I can only compare my experiences and dd's really.??For me: making my curly hair stop frizzing. Getting to the second hand shop and hippy shops to buy harem pants and mirrored skirts for sixth form. Getting away with thigh high skirts.??For dd: getting up at 6am to do hair and make up in exactly the same way as her friends. Not wearing the same outfit twice in one week. Finding 'business dress' that's not designed for forty year olds but also meets the dress code for sixth form.????For me: waiting for friend to knock or ring the house phone to see if I'm included??For dd: making sure every photo is amazing on all sites. Being witty on social media at all times. ????For me: anorexia and hospital instead of lower sixth ??For dd: being healthy and slim and modest ????Not sure which ones worse...(apart from lower sixth)

There are so many areas that are common stresses for teenagers and always will be. However, the two things that worry me the most when it comes to my tweenager during this particular time are body dysmorphia and easy access to hard drugs.

I work in a school and I am shocked at how much emphasis magazines, newspapers and TV shows place on the shape of people's bodies and the effect it has on children. I see perfectly healthy and lovely kids constantly assessing themselves and deeming some part of their body to be ugly.

When I was a teenager there was a culture of having that first drink in the park or going to a house party when somebodies parents were away. Now that the laws and age restrictions on alcohol are so tightened it is easier and cheaper to buy drugs instead. Legal highs and cannabis are far cheaper than a bottle of vodka. The unwritten rule of not selling to kids has gone out of the window. Where in my parents day kids may have shared a joint, dealers are selling skunk to children and lacing it with harder drugs.

Today's teens have more money worries -a life of debt is laid out before them.

Sexting and pornography/ anal is much more of a pressure for my neice although she is much more aware of boundaries and rights over her own body than I was