What funny things have you heard from the back seat of your car? Tell Fiat for a chance to win £250 voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat have asked us to find out what the most amusing things Mumsnetters have heard coming from the backseat of their car are.

Here’s what Fiat say, “Every growing family needs room for more. It’s why we created the Fiat 500L range: the Fiat 500L, the Fiat 500L Trekking and the Fiat 500L MPW. You not only get huge amounts of style but also 5 seats (the option of 7* in the Fiat 500L MPW), a large boot, 22 handy storage compartments and a 5” touchscreen multimedia system with Bluetooth.”

“The Fiat 500L range makes life easier for busy parents without compromising on style and that’s why we’re working with Mumsnet with the mums and dads who can relate to the joys and pains of travelling with kids. If like us, you have hilariously funny stories about the conversations that go on in the back seat of your car whilst travelling, then we’re sure you probably want to share them too!”

So, what corkers have your DCs come up with while sitting in the backseat of the car? Perhaps they’ve demanded you to stop driving so that you can examine their latest new find from in between the car seats? Or maybe they’ve given a particularly creative commentary on the different things and places you’ve passed by in the car? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it!

Everyone who adds their thoughts to the thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Fiat in further marketing material (anonymously, of course).

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

[Cherryjellybean]

Dd is two and gets some words muddled. When rushing to get into the car and get somewhere on time she says
' we got to be late mummy! We got to be late!' ( she means we are going to be late) :)

[Ormally]

DD aged 3: "I ASKED you to go green" (from the back when red lights hold her up for longer than she finds acceptable) - and it usually works!

[kavv0809]

DH (struggling with DD car seat straps finally getting them in) Phew

Dd (3) Well done for keep calm Daddy I will give you a medal

Pause

Cos we don't say For Cups Sake do we Daddy? Mummy doesn't like it!

Rumbled!

[lovelidl]

DD (3) Daddy I need a wee wee!

DH Just hold on we are nearly home.

DD DADDY I CANT! I don't have any hands down there!

[HypodeemicNerdle]

DD1 when she was about 4 gave me a stern telling off for drinking and driving when I took a swig of water from my water bottle while we were stopped at traffic lights.

DD2 likes the rain because then I turn on my wind scream wipers

[Rivercam]

Maritime museum is good (we used tesco vouchers last year)

Nice shopping centre with lots of interesting shops

[Rivercam]

Sorry, thought I was adding to Falmouth thread

[ChaffinchOfDoom]

ds (6) It's a speed trap mummy! don't get trapped in the trap

also : Is anything in the real world made out of minecraft?

dd (8) mummy you are NOT very good at parking are you

[Mmeh]

"Like the sun, moon and the earth, Mummy, it's you, me, and the mirror."

DD2 had been studying the way in which sunlight bounces off the earth to light up the moon, and in the rear view mirror she could see a reflection of me rather than her.

[anotherdayanothersquabble]

If you stood on a bomb you wouldn't blow up.
Well, imagine its a cartoon, if you stood on a bomb you wouldn't blow up.

[anotherdayanothersquabble]

'Crash that ru ra Mummy' I nearly did crash turning around in shock wondering where he had gotten that idea from!!

[Purplehonesty]

Thanks Michelle!
Delighted ds will have a bear coming in the post.

[Fizzyplonk]

"Mummy blind people should use millipedes on a harness as they have great feelers" (as opposed to guide dogs).

"Look there's the red ranger" (man on a motorbike not a power ranger)

"Frogs legs are a bit like crutches, they stabilise them on land or in water"

[Sammyteacake]

Driving along, with DS (2yrs 10months) happily watching the morning traffic out of the window, he said - out of the blue - "...we're not stuck in the middle, Mummy".

Baffled, I realised that a few minutes earlier I had been singing along to Michael Jackson's 'You Wanna Be Starting Something' on Magic FM...too high to get over...too low to get under... yer stuck in the
middowwwl... and the pain is thunderrr...

My karaoke skills must be improving seeing as he understood my singing voice...!

[HappySunflower]

My daughter prattled on to me for the entirety of a 100 mile journey to friends.

"Mummy, LOOK Mummy, I see cows. Oh wow mummy, look, look right now, there is a big bus" this continued for ages.
And then in her biggest and most excited voice voice:
"Mummy, Mummy, it is portant Mummy, look a Birdy did a BIG poo on the window Mummy, and its dripping! She would not stop going on about it until I pulled into the next services and cleaned the window. And then she told everyone about it for weeks!

[Cumberlover76]

Whilst passing a church the other day i said to 2 yo DD 'Look at the big tower on the church' to which she replied 'It's not a tower mummy it's a unicorn'!

[StillNoFuckingEyeDeer]

This morning, DD1 (3), said, "mummy, I know where you can get crabs that aren't for eating"
Slightly concerned, I asked her where.
"On the beach! Animal crabs"
Phew.

[winkywinkola]

When ds1 was in reception and we were in a queue, driving down the school drive.

He piped up, "ooooh look that's Sam Patel's mum's vulva in front of us."

"You mean Volvo, duck"

Cue anger. "No. I mean VULVA. Sam told me his mum has a vulva."

[Bubbles85]

My husband: "so THIS is what it's like to be a child!"

[FPATEL]

DD1 age 3 on our way to nursery.
DD: Mum, when I'm big like you, can I drive?
Me: Yes, course you can
DD: OK, then i'll drive myself to nursery

(Hopefully, when you're big like me, we'll be way past nursery )

[RockinHippy]

DD, completely out of the blue, at barely 4, whilst DH was driving us all somewhere

"Daddy means well doesn't he, but he does make life hard"

At about 2/3 (very early talker) playing with dolls in her car seat

"shhhh, Rosie, mummy & Daddy are drunk & if they think we are awake they will beat us again"

do fish get pregnant

my other mummy & daddy weren't as nice as you are


At 5

When I grow up, I'm going to change my lovely more unusual name to Carole

[WildThong]

"Yuuuuk"

And yes, there had been a poo-nami. Actually more of a poo-cano

[Eva50]

Ds1 in the days before his diagnosis when I thought he was a genius, "oh look, a Volvo," and "Its a red turbo Porsche" and "Next up, a fucking BMW!"

[ShyPhilosopher]

My youngest was once giving a biology lesson in the back of the car:
"Boys wee standing up, out of their lilies" she pauses for a moment "but normal people sit down & wee out their bum!" We tried telling her a lily was a type of flower, but she insisted not those sorts of lilies silly.

Another example was the other day, when my youngest declared that when she's older she's going to get a 6-seater car. Her brother was astounded by this news & replied "... but that would cost you millions of pounds!" We even used to own a people carrier, he must have thought we were millionaires.

[justshootmenow]

Dh took ds2 to nursery he got out to shut the gate hears gears crunching when he got back in ds2 announced "daddy the stick thing wasn't working"
Driving on a rainy day a ds2 said "its chucking itself down"