What funny things have you heard from the back seat of your car? Tell Fiat for a chance to win £250 voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat have asked us to find out what the most amusing things Mumsnetters have heard coming from the backseat of their car are.

Here’s what Fiat say, “Every growing family needs room for more. It’s why we created the Fiat 500L range: the Fiat 500L, the Fiat 500L Trekking and the Fiat 500L MPW. You not only get huge amounts of style but also 5 seats (the option of 7* in the Fiat 500L MPW), a large boot, 22 handy storage compartments and a 5” touchscreen multimedia system with Bluetooth.”

“The Fiat 500L range makes life easier for busy parents without compromising on style and that’s why we’re working with Mumsnet with the mums and dads who can relate to the joys and pains of travelling with kids. If like us, you have hilariously funny stories about the conversations that go on in the back seat of your car whilst travelling, then we’re sure you probably want to share them too!”

So, what corkers have your DCs come up with while sitting in the backseat of the car? Perhaps they’ve demanded you to stop driving so that you can examine their latest new find from in between the car seats? Or maybe they’ve given a particularly creative commentary on the different things and places you’ve passed by in the car? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it!

Everyone who adds their thoughts to the thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Fiat in further marketing material (anonymously, of course).

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

[ComeHeather]

DH being cut up by idiot, shouts "For F*ks sake!"

DD "Where's the fox, daddy?"

[Spirael]

DD (just 4 YO) asks whether we are going up hill or down hill. If I answer that we're going down hill, she cries "Wheeee!" like on a rollercoaster ride! I hasten to add that I don't drive excessively fast down hills to warrant such a cry.

[fromthesofa]

Turn the indicator off until the traffic lights change, it´s wasting the battery

[Shellydradio]

So there I was driving to nursery when my son was about 4 and another driver cut me up, I called the other driver a stupid cow and then I hear a little voice saying "where's the cow mummy?, where's the cow?" Ooops!

[Raahh]

Today, we went to a uniform shop i have never driven to before. It is only a few miles away, but I have no sense of direction, and get lost a lot. I then get stressed.

On arriving, with no drama, I heard dd2 (aged 3) whisper to dd1-

'That was good. No 'mummy moments' '

[Geneticsbunny]

Mid tantrum we had "why don't you just go into town and get lost" from our 3 year old daughter.

[glenthebattleostrich]

Goodness sake, who learned them to drive. From our 4 year old.

She also regularly tells DH 'daddy drive faster, I want to win the motorway'

[CointreauVersial]

A few years ago I eavesdropped on a very amusing conversation between my three DCs (probably 6, 8 and 10 at the time), discussing homosexuality. It was hilarious listening to them solemnly debate whether it was possible to have babies or not. I really didn't want to interrupt, but had to set the record straight on a couple of "minor" details.

[StealthPolarBear]

Ds was 4ish, dd probably 2,maybe a bit younger. It was foggy.
Me: have you seen the fog outside?
Ds: what frog?
Me: no, not FROG, FOG
ds: where's the frog, I can't see a frog
Went on like this for a while and we turned a corner near a farm

Dd: what dat smell?
Me: oh it'll just be something outside...coming in through the window...
Ds:it might be the frog
Me: no no it's just ...
Dd, cutting me off: yes, it da frog

[StealthPolarBear]

More recently I had a conversation with dd in the back of the car, telling me how when she was being driven by childminders husband someone hasn't stopped at a junction he'd been coming up to.
Lots of "he was going THAT way and other car was coming THIS way and there was a line and the car should have stopped but it didn't it KT ON GOING " etc etc

When I asked what cm's husband had said or done, dd told me that he said "cheeses".

[Iamblossom]

Mummy if I can't find a nice wife, how will I have my own children? I want a boy and a girl. Does it cost a lot to adopt? Will you help me find a wife. I want her to be nice, and pretty.

DS 2, 7

[missorinoco]

DC3, aged 2 - "Delicious!"
DH "What's that?"
DC3 "My bogey!"

Bleugh.

[mylaptopismylapdog]

No no no man singing! from DS2. Obviously he preferred DH rock music!

[TheHomicidalPowerOfaTypo]

Ds shouted "look! It's a fucking wanker!" After we'd had the obligatory row about who swore the most while driving he said it again. Turns out he was just pointing out a Volkswagon 'van car'.

[BigfootFiles]

My exhaust partially detached halfway up the motorway. Navigated safely to the hard shoulder, AA patched it up. All fine.

The DCs still refer to it as "the time mummy crashed the car". For days after, "are you going to break the car again today, mummy?"

[Thistledew]

Not from a child- although it sounded like one. My boyfriend of the time and I were given a job to drive a pedigree Burmese cat from Kent to Yorkshire as it had started killing the neighbours cats and had to be re-homed somewhere it would not come into contact with any others.

It meowed constantly for the whole 7 hour journey, but its cries were startlingly human-like - in fact it sounded like an 18 month old child plaintively crying "help, help" over and over again. We were convinced who we had to stop for fuel that someone would report our registration plate to the police or social services on suspicion of child abduction.

[AllSorted]

"Mummy, (Brother) has done a sneeze. B needs tissue. Snot mummy, snot"

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Whilst singing along to Adele, my 3 year old announced. "Mummy.....you're not very good"

We have also had a slight overreaction to there being "something in the car mummy!" It was a greenfly!

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

3yo telling us what the baby was doing in the back: "he has his dummy, he's looking around etc..." Pause. "His head doesn't come off!"

Was worried about what experiments he might have conducted during the pause to reach this conclusion!

[Chopsypie]

DS shouting at DD 'don't look out of my window, you've got your own!'

[FTRsGotAShinyNewNN]

On our way to a theme park recently after days of glorious weather it was drizzly when we set off.
DH said to DS (5) 'DS what's going on with the weather?'
Very deadpan response from the back was 'why are you asking me? I'm not the weather man'

Also to me 'mammy orange means slow down not get faster'

[Kendodd]

"Mummy, how many different ways can you die?"
"Oh I don't know lots of ways"

Moments silence

(excitedly) "Oh, oh, suffocate, that's one!"

[jackstini]

DD (7) - I can see our house from here (not - 17 miles away)
DS (4) - I can see Germany
Me - how's that then?

Cue a whole discussion on how they both have super powers - including telling us about the secret buttons in their wrists, how they top their powers up at Tesco at 3 o'clock in the morning (there is a separate entrance they can fly into obviously) and a lot of other details that boggled my mind and had my auntie crying with laughter

[CrewElla]

Whenever we get to a roundabout my son says, 'careful, careful'. It always makes me smile.

[glammanana]

Starting off on holiday to Europe by campervan DS1 was 4yrs at the time we where apprehensive about travelling so far with him but thought he would be ok as big sister aged 8yrs was sitting in the back with him.
Off we go and heading for Dover from Merseyside,we get to just 3 miles from home when the little voice says "are we there yet" no son just about another 800mls to go says OH, then the ferry and then more motorway have a sleep for a while,Ok says DS1 but will we be there by tea time as I will be hungry ???
Un printable expletifs from OH under his breath on the lines of "this is going to be a long trip I can feel it in my water","why's that dad have you wet yourself there are lots of service stations you know "are we there yet" ??