What funny things have you heard from the back seat of your car? Tell Fiat for a chance to win £250 voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat have asked us to find out what the most amusing things Mumsnetters have heard coming from the backseat of their car are.

Here’s what Fiat say, “Every growing family needs room for more. It’s why we created the Fiat 500L range: the Fiat 500L, the Fiat 500L Trekking and the Fiat 500L MPW. You not only get huge amounts of style but also 5 seats (the option of 7* in the Fiat 500L MPW), a large boot, 22 handy storage compartments and a 5” touchscreen multimedia system with Bluetooth.”

“The Fiat 500L range makes life easier for busy parents without compromising on style and that’s why we’re working with Mumsnet with the mums and dads who can relate to the joys and pains of travelling with kids. If like us, you have hilariously funny stories about the conversations that go on in the back seat of your car whilst travelling, then we’re sure you probably want to share them too!”

So, what corkers have your DCs come up with while sitting in the backseat of the car? Perhaps they’ve demanded you to stop driving so that you can examine their latest new find from in between the car seats? Or maybe they’ve given a particularly creative commentary on the different things and places you’ve passed by in the car? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it!

Everyone who adds their thoughts to the thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Fiat in further marketing material (anonymously, of course).

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

[MadMonkeys]

"Faster Mummy, Daddy drives faster..."
"Slow down round the corners..."
"X (little sister) has undone her seatbelt..."

[themummyonthebus]

I regularly get, "Faster, faster!" from my little speed demon in the back, but today's description of what he got up to at nursery was hysterical.

"First schboomschratttaaaa and then crashhhaafttt and then grupppaaaaatfttft and then Nadine held her pillow up WITH HER ARMS and then the Ogre stole David's car!"

It was a good day apparently.

[Keepcalmanddrinkwine]

Today- Mummy, what is 50 Shades of Grey about?

[Acolyte]

A conversation between my dd's in the back of the car:

Dd1 - "Whose driving do you like best?"
Dd2 - "Mum's"
Dd1 - "Me too"
Me - " Aww thanks"
Dd1 - "Yeah well Dad just seems to stop, he doesn't slow down first like you do"
Dd1 - "But if dad asked, I'd tell him I preferred his driving, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings"
Dd2 - "I thought you didn't like dad though"
Dd1 - "Yes, I do like him"

Dd1 was 9, dd2 4 at the time.

[wibblyjelly]

Not heard but while I was singing along to Frozen, 18 month old ds covered his ears and started shaking his head...

[WidowWadman]

One bleak December morning I had to step hard on my brakes to avoid crashing into some eejit taking my right of way. And whilst braking I let out an exasperated "JESUS CHRIST!"
To which my then 3 year old replied from the back seat "Mary's boychild, mummy?"

[MorphineDreams]

'is that a dead cat in the road? oh no, it's just a squashed hat'

[stealthsquiggle]

Funniest was probably DD when very small (just in forward facing seat) head banging along to DH's choice of in car entertainment, which was loud house music.

Worrying is any variation of "uh oh". Nowadays I mostly get crises about forgotten possessions and being late - nowhere near as much fun .

[MimsyBorogroves]

DS2, at 21 months, used to yell "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE" whenever I did an emergency stop. Could have been much, much worse.

[trixymalixy]

The road to DS's school was closed for a week, so we had to use an alternative route. DD (aged4) pipes up " Mummy, if we don't ever find DS's school we could just go to the park instead "

[Hopezibah]

My son, tells my other son 'if that car in front of us had the letters on its number plate the other way around with an S in front of it, it would spell SEX'. Then 2 seconds later, he leans forward and asks 'mummy what does sex mean?'.

Another time upon overhearing two men shouting at each other after a car accident, the question comes...'mummy... what's a bucking idiot'. I'm SO glad he misheard that one!

[Raahh]

Very serious conversation between ds (then 8) and 2 friends.

ds - you know when 2 girls love each other?

friends, - yeah?

ds- well, they are called librarians .

friends- oh, yeah... that's right. Librarians

me-

[theyoungones]

Silly old cow! (When the car had to stop to let a cow wander across the road)

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

DD (2.5) "this is ridiculous this, Mammy" when I tell her we have to stop because theres lots of cars in front of us

[scoper71]

MUMMY. MUUHMEE. (DD aged 4). Fuck is a bad word isn't it? I won't say fuck. You do though. Naughty Mummy.

[Moodykat]

When we leave home in the morning we have to do a countdown to blast off before we can drive away. The funniest (and cutest) thing was my (then) 2 year old DS trying to do the countdown without his big brother in the car - "10, 8, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, BLAST OFF".
That and DS1 (5) coming out with "Mummy, that man did not say thank you when you stopped for him. What an arsehole." Oops!

[lia66]

I was a 7 mth pregnant children's nanny at the time, ferrying my 7 and 9 year old charges home from school.

E ( 7) pipes up. " how do you know that you're pregnant?"

Thinking on my feet so to speak as I don't know if mum has told them about periods and puberty

Me - "well there are certain things that happen to you when you are a grown up, and when they don't happen, you know you are pregnant"

L ( 9 year old sister ) - " and you're sick"

E - well I've been sick and I'm not pregnant

L - ( sighs theatrically ) - you need a man too silly

E - I've got daddy

L- I mean a proper man!!



I did warn their mum when I got home that she might be asked some questions later.

[fanoftheinvisibleman]

"But I don't want to die!"
"But you have to, everybody does.....but not until you are an old lady"
" Oh that's okay...my grandma is really old"
"She is going to die soon then...mine too!"
"Yeah!"

We had to pull over laughing! Several years later the grandmas still in their 50's and 60's are still going strong.

[Cirsium]

Picking up the great aunt of a child I nannied for and taking her to their house for dinner, 8 year old child pipes up.

Him, innocently - "How do lesbians have babies?"
Me, trying to use as little detail as possible and feeling great aunts eyes on me, as I focused on the bypass - "they might adopt, or one of the ladies have a baby."
Him- "mmmm."
Great Aunt, shocked - "how does he know about lesbians?"

We also had my cat, who I'd just picked up from the vets, meowing away in his carrier on the back seat.

[MMcanny]

DS2 - Mummy?
M - Yes?
DS2 - I love you.
DS2 - DS1?
DS1 - Yes?
DS2 - I love you.
DS2 - Daddy?
D - Yes?
DS2 - Are we nearly there yet?

[Babycarmen]

youngest - "Mummy I fart... oh no.. I poo!"

eldest - "Mum youre not very good at driving are you, maybe you should go back to driving lessons." "HAHA Mum stalled" "Mum those cars are budging past us go faster!!"

Talk about back seat driving!!

[KneeQuestion]

After being out with Daddy for the day, my then two year old piped up 'wrong way Wanker' clear as a bell

He repeated it whenever we drove down the one way street that he had heard his Dad say it in, for a good while

That's probably not the sort of thing you are wanting to hear about though I suspect...

[telsa]

Daddy, open the window, so I can stick my head out like a dog.

[WarmHugs]

My three year old started screaming blue murder in the back of the car.

"I not sit here, my seat is WET!"

I started to panic, as we were on a long stretch of motorway, but reliably potty trained.

I asked him why his seat was wet

"I chewed it"

I asked him why on earth he was chewing his car seat

"Not CHEW. I at-chooed it"

Funniest way I have heard him describe a sneeze!

[ComeHeather]

"Mum. I've finished all my bogeys".

Truly.