What funny things have you heard from the back seat of your car? Tell Fiat for a chance to win £250 voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat have asked us to find out what the most amusing things Mumsnetters have heard coming from the backseat of their car are.

Here’s what Fiat say, “Every growing family needs room for more. It’s why we created the Fiat 500L range: the Fiat 500L, the Fiat 500L Trekking and the Fiat 500L MPW. You not only get huge amounts of style but also 5 seats (the option of 7* in the Fiat 500L MPW), a large boot, 22 handy storage compartments and a 5” touchscreen multimedia system with Bluetooth.”

“The Fiat 500L range makes life easier for busy parents without compromising on style and that’s why we’re working with Mumsnet with the mums and dads who can relate to the joys and pains of travelling with kids. If like us, you have hilariously funny stories about the conversations that go on in the back seat of your car whilst travelling, then we’re sure you probably want to share them too!”

So, what corkers have your DCs come up with while sitting in the backseat of the car? Perhaps they’ve demanded you to stop driving so that you can examine their latest new find from in between the car seats? Or maybe they’ve given a particularly creative commentary on the different things and places you’ve passed by in the car? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it!

Everyone who adds their thoughts to the thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Fiat in further marketing material (anonymously, of course).

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

[ShoutyMom]

When my DD was 3, I skidded on ice and damaged my ancient car (luckily I was alone in the car and no one hurt); the insurance company decided to scrap it rather than repair. We bought a blue used car as replacement. DD sidled up to me and whispered, "Mummy after you break this one, we'll get a PINK one"....
...pondered over her own wisdom for a while, then added, "Please Mummy can you break this car soon". I am really a safe driver, honest!

[BeaglesOfDeathMetal]

My mother has a penchant for hanging hideously cloying air fresheners from her rear-view mirror.

Disgruntled four year old son piped up from the back: "Nanny please can you turn the smell off?"

[Fairylea]

When dd was 3 she told me I was an awful driver and I deserved to "get sacked" because I made her drop her last chocolate button as we turned a corner! Harsh words!

[Tidypidy]

About a month ago, DS1 aged 5,

DS1: Mummy you mustn't worry about the birds.
Me: Ok. Why should I worry about birds?
DS1: They have got legs really.
Me: Ok.
(Very long pause).
Me: What do you mean 'they have got legs really'?
DS1: When they fly they tuck them up and put them down to land. So you mustn't worry if you see a bird flying with no legs because it has got them really.
Me: Thank you for telling me.
DS1: That's OK Mummy, it was important and you said you needed to know important things so I told you.

He has since followed this with a long explanation of how the birds legs would drag in the air and slow them down if they didn't tuck them out the way. A scientist in the making!

[clary]

This is my favourite - on the way to DS2's birthday day out (he was just 8 as were his two mates).

Mate 1: Charlie T says that to make a baby the man has to put his willy in the lady's bottom!

Mate 2: (thinks for a bit) That can't be right!

DS2: What if it broke off?

Mate 1: Well, Charlie also says if you've got freckles you have bad skin...

The three of them agreed that Charlie clearly knew nothing about anything so was probably wrong about the babies too! I meanwhile was driving along trying not to giggle, knowing that Mate 1's mum would not want me to enlighten them...

[mjmooseface]

I am loving reading through these comments! So funny!

I wish I could add some of my own but my son is not talking yet, nor do we have a car! Boo! lol

[scrivette]

'Mummy I got a bogie - mmmm delicious!'

[Raahh]

I've just remembered one from not long after ds started school. He was very into reading non-fiction books. It was nearly Easter (so they had been doing bits of R.E). So, driving him home one afternoon.

Ds- Boris at school said God isn't real. But I know he is.
Me - Really? How come.
Ds- Well, God is in the bible.
Me- Yes, that's right.
Ds- And we put the bibles in the non-fiction section of the library. So, it has to be true, and God must be real.

There's a logic to that, that is hard to argue with a 5 year old.

Obviously, with age his views may be changing....

[QuickQuickSloe]

DS aged 30 months: "mummy! Another bloody tractor!"

Oops

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

"Step on it Grandma" from 6 year old DS. We laughed so hard

[EstellaSpitsEmOut]

'Spider!, Spider!, Spider mummy!!' From DS (2).

Cue much panic from me, frantically looking for somewhere to pull over. 'Where's the spider?' I ask again and again desperate for an answer.

Finally..'here mummy' ...pointing to Spider-Man on his jacket. Gah!

[HappyMum4]

My 7 year old and 6 year old were bickering in the back over a barbie doll that nana had given them, when my 7 year old snatched it out of my 6 year olds hands, prompting the youngest to start wailing. I reprimanded my 7 year old and told her that I didn't ever want to see her do that again. She replied "okay close your eyes".
No answer!

[RedBushedT]

I regularly hear "Is that another naughty man, mummy?" from the back seat if I exclaim at anyone's driving, as that's what I say when anyone drives badly (rather than swearing).

[mummy1973]

My 6 year old son to his friend "Are you a member of the National Trust?"

[flamingtoaster]

I was driving DS and DD home from school very carefully along a very icy road. I braked very gently to turn into our street but the car skidded and went straight on down the road. Luckily nothing was coming so we were safe. DS (then aged 7) then said, "Oh, Mummy, please do that again!"

[VelvetEmbers]

Driving to nursery I'd often hear

Is the stupid woman driving a bus mummy?

(we always seemed to get stuck behind the over-cautious)

DH was unlucky. He heard "I don't like the traffic" and was trying to work out what that meant when she threw up spectacularly.

[speckers]

Nephew asked my daughter: have you got a willy?

Daughter: no

Nephew: what happened to it?

Daughter: it came off in the cafe.

No idea what that response was all about but I think my poor nephew has a lifelong fear of cafés as a result.

[ScienceRocks]

From not quite two year old dd: is that lady a dragon?

She was smoking.

[scoper71]

DD, 4 to me the other day:- "Mummy I want an Elsa doll"

Me: "No, you've just got your Anna doll"

DD: "me and Daddy are going to take you to the dump. You'll get hurt and me and Daddy can live at home forever and ever"

thanks kid. Apparently saying no to her demands could land me in real trouble!

[Solo]

When my Ds was about 7, we were driving along and had to go under a very small viaduct which has a dip right in the middle. Ds said "that makes my willy feel funny" it was always my tummy when I was a child.

Dd (7) last week was blowing hard in and out of her nose, so I passed her a tissue saying "for goodness sake, blow your nose!" which she did and she said "So that's what's been buggering me!" I cracked up! she just doesn't make faux pas in her speech, so it was extra funny for me and she realised right away what she'd said.
She also likes to tell me I'm speeding!

[iwantavuvezela]

from DD (7)

"Mummmmeeeee, why do cars always hoot when daddy drives"


Indeed ,darling, indeed

[scootercat69]

Driving home after a weekend in Norfolk:

Dd, aged 7, from the back seat: 'Mummy, what is that hole they were talking about on the radio? The hole in the layer?'
Me: 'The ozone layer.'
Dd: 'Yes, where is it? Which part of the earth?'
Me: 'Over the North Pole, I think.'
Dd pauses, then: 'Poor Santa.....but at least he's getting some sun.'

[sealight123]

Direct quote from my daughter (3 years old)-
'When I am big big and go on the toilet everytime and eat all of my dinner everytime, I can go to America to see the talking cars'

[Tyranasaurus]

'Beep!, beep!, beep!, beep!,....' all the way to the shops and back

[nerysw]

The best was both kids (3 and 5) in the back of the car arguing about who could or couldn't see an imaginary horse and what colour it was. This lasted about half an hour and ended with them both in tears and not speaking to each other.