What funny things have you heard from the back seat of your car? Tell Fiat for a chance to win £250 voucher NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat have asked us to find out what the most amusing things Mumsnetters have heard coming from the backseat of their car are.

Here’s what Fiat say, “Every growing family needs room for more. It’s why we created the Fiat 500L range: the Fiat 500L, the Fiat 500L Trekking and the Fiat 500L MPW. You not only get huge amounts of style but also 5 seats (the option of 7* in the Fiat 500L MPW), a large boot, 22 handy storage compartments and a 5” touchscreen multimedia system with Bluetooth.”

“The Fiat 500L range makes life easier for busy parents without compromising on style and that’s why we’re working with Mumsnet with the mums and dads who can relate to the joys and pains of travelling with kids. If like us, you have hilariously funny stories about the conversations that go on in the back seat of your car whilst travelling, then we’re sure you probably want to share them too!”

So, what corkers have your DCs come up with while sitting in the backseat of the car? Perhaps they’ve demanded you to stop driving so that you can examine their latest new find from in between the car seats? Or maybe they’ve given a particularly creative commentary on the different things and places you’ve passed by in the car? Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it!

Everyone who adds their thoughts to the thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note that any comments posted on this thread may be used by Fiat in further marketing material (anonymously, of course).

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

[maximillian]

When my son was young I drove him and a friends little boy home. The boy live with his mum and saw dad at weekends. The conversation went thus: (this is just one of the cracking conversations I heard from them).
Little Boy (LB): YOu know there's no father Christmas don't you?
Son (S): Erm....not sure (I am now wincing and dreading the remaining conversation as we have not yet had The Talk)
LB: You know father Christmas can't come to your house because you live in a flat and don't have a chimney
S: Well...he could come through the letterbox
LB: Look...it's your mum and dad what buy you presents and pretend they are from father Christmas.
S: But I already get presents from my mum and dad
LB: So do I but I pretend that there is a father Christmas because they have to buy me three lots of presents then..

I struggle to keep the car in a straight line I tell you.

[Postchildrenpregranny]

En route to my father's funeral (well actually the night before when coffin went to chapel) DH driving,my mum
in front,me and DD1(aged 8)and DD2(aged4) in the back .Hearse containing coffin comes up side road to join road on which we are approaching chapel .DD1'that's a really nice big wooden box isn't it' .Cue shaking shoulders from my
Mum as I tried to suppress inappropriate giggles.Fortunately she too saw the funny side and was laughing silently .It certainly relieved the tension .
I thought I'd done such a good job of explaining ...

[DuelingFanjo]

Funniest thing I ever heard was

'no mummy, he's not a fucking lunatic' from my three year old.

'a FUNNY lunatic, mummy said funny lunatic'

[33goingon64]

DB's story, not mine. Nephew was 2 at the time. Driving along, DB takes a wrong turn and and says 'Oh crap'. Nephew says 'We don't say 'crap' Daddy... [pause]... and we don't say 'bollocks' either'. DB nearly crashed car.

[MichelleMumsnet]

Fiat would like to do another spot prize to give away a Brian the Bear cuddly toy. The winner is FPATEL! Fiat would like to say, "She’s growing up fast @FPatel! Mum’s taxi will no longer be needed soon! This made us giggle very much, have a Brian the Bear on us. Making those trips to nursery even more fun :)" We'll be in touch soon!

[deels]

'yessss!! we won!' upon reaching a traffic light and being first in line....

[MichelleMumsnet]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, they were pretty hilarious! 8mhigh, congratulations, you've won the prize draw for a £250 Love2Shop voucher! We'll be in touch soon.

[BabyFrasersMum]

After going to see the Lego movie the 30 minute journey home went like this

My 2 soon to be 3 year old DS

"Everything is awesome"
"Daddy's car is awesome"
"Mummy's bum is awesome" ....?..
"That bus is awesome"
"That dog is awesome"
"Mummy's Food is awesome"
"That van is awesome"
"This bogies awesome"

Then...."mummy your hair is not awesome". (Pleased he likes my bum though in a weird way)

Love my little comic!!

[unadulterateddad]

Daddy, if we accelerate to going faster than light, would we be able to fly through the sun ? from DS aged 7

[kinkymouse]

Me and DH discussing his love of frank Sinatra while dd1 (3) was sitting quietly in the back.
DH "frank is just the best and you have no taste"
Me "but he's just a fugly old rocker"
Dd1 "mummy stop calling daddy's friend an old focker"
Obviously a merging of fugly and rocker.

[IncaAztec]

When driving in deepest Cheshire. 'Mummy, look a zebra!'. Me, with confidence ' No zebras here.'. Turn around to see an entire garden covered with large statues of animals. Zebras included. Weird!

[idleweiss]

This conversation made me have a good giggle and made me think it wouldn't be out of place in an action/thriller film!
DD1'Finish him..you are taking to long..'
DD2'No I'm not done with him..'
DD1'Finish him..quickly! If you don't it will be to late..I can't wait for you any longer..'
DD2'No!'
DD1'What about the others? you finished them easily?!'
DD2'I need more time.he is more difficult..I need to think!'
DD1'Ha! It's easy I'll show you!'
Scuffle in back seat ensues as they fight over the tablet on which they are playing a character puzzle game against the clock! Phew! :)

[MaryWestmacott]

Today's gems: "mummy, are all the other drivers on the motorway stupid?"

And "oh, I don't want to get off here, I want to see the big crash that made us go slow."

"Why do we have to go slow just because the other cars are going slow? Can't you just biff them out of the way?"

And with a panicked voice "no mummy! sat nav lady said to go the other way! Oh no, she's recalculating...."

[justshootmenow]

Dh took ds2 to nursery he got out to shut the gate hears gears crunching when he got back in ds2 announced "daddy the stick thing wasn't working"
Driving on a rainy day a ds2 said "its chucking itself down"

[ShyPhilosopher]

My youngest was once giving a biology lesson in the back of the car:
"Boys wee standing up, out of their lilies" she pauses for a moment "but normal people sit down & wee out their bum!" We tried telling her a lily was a type of flower, but she insisted not those sorts of lilies silly.

Another example was the other day, when my youngest declared that when she's older she's going to get a 6-seater car. Her brother was astounded by this news & replied "... but that would cost you millions of pounds!" We even used to own a people carrier, he must have thought we were millionaires.

[Eva50]

Ds1 in the days before his diagnosis when I thought he was a genius, "oh look, a Volvo," and "Its a red turbo Porsche" and "Next up, a fucking BMW!"

[WildThong]

"Yuuuuk"

And yes, there had been a poo-nami. Actually more of a poo-cano

[RockinHippy]

DD, completely out of the blue, at barely 4, whilst DH was driving us all somewhere

"Daddy means well doesn't he, but he does make life hard"

At about 2/3 (very early talker) playing with dolls in her car seat

"shhhh, Rosie, mummy & Daddy are drunk & if they think we are awake they will beat us again"

do fish get pregnant

my other mummy & daddy weren't as nice as you are


At 5

When I grow up, I'm going to change my lovely more unusual name to Carole

[FPATEL]

DD1 age 3 on our way to nursery.
DD: Mum, when I'm big like you, can I drive?
Me: Yes, course you can
DD: OK, then i'll drive myself to nursery

(Hopefully, when you're big like me, we'll be way past nursery )

[Bubbles85]

My husband: "so THIS is what it's like to be a child!"

[winkywinkola]

When ds1 was in reception and we were in a queue, driving down the school drive.

He piped up, "ooooh look that's Sam Patel's mum's vulva in front of us."

"You mean Volvo, duck"

Cue anger. "No. I mean VULVA. Sam told me his mum has a vulva."

[StillNoFuckingEyeDeer]

This morning, DD1 (3), said, "mummy, I know where you can get crabs that aren't for eating"
Slightly concerned, I asked her where.
"On the beach! Animal crabs"
Phew.

[Cumberlover76]

Whilst passing a church the other day i said to 2 yo DD 'Look at the big tower on the church' to which she replied 'It's not a tower mummy it's a unicorn'!

[HappySunflower]

My daughter prattled on to me for the entirety of a 100 mile journey to friends.

"Mummy, LOOK Mummy, I see cows. Oh wow mummy, look, look right now, there is a big bus" this continued for ages.
And then in her biggest and most excited voice voice:
"Mummy, Mummy, it is portant Mummy, look a Birdy did a BIG poo on the window Mummy, and its dripping! She would not stop going on about it until I pulled into the next services and cleaned the window. And then she told everyone about it for weeks!