Good luck Claw!

[fightingtheLA]

Hi Claw
Have been following your sorry saga with school for a while now. Just wanted to say good luck with the meeting tomorrow and hope you get more from it than the usual clap-trap,fob-offs etc. etc. I find it difficult dealing with everything even with a very supportive school so am in awe of your tenacity. Knowledge is strength and posters such as yourself, Debs, Star,Attila etc..have really given me the confidence to fight for my ds!

Oh songs, i was thinking more about the Pogues Christmas song 'Happy christmas your arse I thank god it´s our last'

What happens with SA now?

You mean the Stat Ass if you change schools? I think this is based on the fact that they need to assess the child's needs so they can't withdraw their agreement to conduct one.

Obviously, they would need to speak to the new and old school about it but you may find that you get the new schools saying 'of course he needs this and that help' as it will benefit them!!

Ok thanks Debs, i will go to look round school tommorrow, Ofted isnt great, but it did say good things about special needs and they are well known for ASD knowledge. Unless the kids are running riot, i will be grabbing this with both hands. Sod it, even if the kids are running riot, i will be grabbing this place

Will contact LA tommorrow, one step at a time, im so happy

OMG OMG OMG......Claw.....it could be THE END of this terrible chapter!! Please, please let it be good for DS!

Don't go too much by what Ofsted say - follow your gut instinct. Quite frankly anything would be better than where he is now. Sounds good to me already if they are known for making an effort for SN & ASD children. I bet it would feel fantastic removing him from that place and horrible HT. Keep us informed.

oh that sounds briliant, claw - good luck for tomorrow!

agree don't set too much store by ofsted - the things you are looking for are not measurable by tick boxes - flexibility and understanding cannot be writtendown.

also, though, don't jump at the place just becasue they mention pecs, or similar. I know you know this, but I ahve seen an awful lot of units and so-called "good" sn provision where they are every bit as inflexible as some MS schools are (dd1's ASD pre-school was like that - seemingly no understanding of any differences in ASD children - it was their way or no way, and if that meant dd1 didn't progress, well it wasn't their fault -after all, it worked for other children!)

likewise, dd1 was assessed as "too passive" for an ASD unit, when again, with the right support, she is anyhting but passive, she just withdraws totally when she feels unsure, or is uncomfortable in a situation - a bit like your ds, I think.

Good news abut the DLA too, oh and you already have my email should you win the lottery

Oh phew Claw We can all see a happy end for you and I so hope it happens.

One thing though. Soooo sorry for how boring I sound, but despite your alternative plans, still ensure that all your complaints and loose ends are tied up and properly dealt with, don't just abandon them in favour of the rainbow with the pot of gold. This is your leverage with the Local Authority that you may need to cash in one day. Don't let the opportunity to have some 'dirt' on what they have allowed to happen go ungrasped.

Fighting, ds and i just went to Mcdonalds to celebrate! woo hoo! ds's class teacher and one of the TA's at old school are lovely and well meaning, just no knowledge or understanding of ASD. Although if pointed out to them, im sure they would grasp it. Shame SENCO choose not to share any info with them.

I havent told ds yet, i have been suggesting to ds that perhaps there are schools that help children who dont like PE etc. He doesnt like change and it probably will be a bit rough for him to start with. But it doesnt take much to build up trust with him. Once he trusts you, you have a friend for life.

Also drove round to the school after McDonalds and some of the kids were riding bikes in the playground and i said to ds "oh look, those kids look like they are having fun etc. Perhaps we could visit this school one day" kind of thing and he seemed quite eager "can we go now"!

Any suggestions for preparing him for the change and how to do it? I was thinking of asking for him to start part time IMMEDIATELY and gradually build on it. Building up to full time September?

Obviously i will speak to the SENCO before he starts and make sure things are in place for him.

After you have looked around and decided to send him there obviously go back with ds for a look around. As he's already keen on the idea just maybe casually mention that the school with bike riding children there would like him to have a look around. I obviously don't know your ds but this kind of line would work on mine. Part-time gradually sounds good as it won't overload him too much to start. Know what you mean about the Senco - we are getting a new one in Sept and not looking forward to it!
Really hope things work out for you and ds.

sounds promisingwith oyur ds asking to go and see it!

we ahve always asked for picutres of staff and buildings to familiarise dd1 before shestarts, so that at least on day one, there are some things she recognises.

Also, a couple ofvisiting sessions to meet teachers, TA etc, and show him where eg toilets are, and the way to the playground, etc.

there are probably books about changing schools - we used one of the First experiences Usborne ones - starting at school, I think, and another one where the boy is worried aboutgoing ot school - worried about doing his shoes, worried about lunch, worried about all the new things, because it won't be like at home, etc, and so his mum goes through everyhting with him, and of course it is ok. we use books a lot with dd1 to go through new situations - gives us a chance to talk a lot of things through, and quite a lot seems to go in.

we have always made a point of saying goodbye to everyone at the old school as well - "finished now!" so that she is sure she isn't going back.we have also asked for photos of old schools, so that she can go through them,but doubt you'll get those unfortunately.

how exciting that he liked the look of it

Silver, its strange what you look for in an Ofsted report once you a child with sn, isnt it? I was looking for any comments about SN and children's well being etc.

One of the school's with a unit attached told me to try them, as they have good knowledge of ASD and were in the process of getting of getting a unit. The school also gave me the telephone number of the local ASD advisor for the area and i had a chat with her, the school is well known to her and she often visits. Ds's old school was the first time they had used ASD Outreach, only because i kept on at them. Im in love already

My first question will be do you use smart IEP's and can i see an example!

Yes DLA too, no tribunal, just a payment, no letter yet, even though they hadnt followed the criteria, weird, but im not complaining. I think some champagne is in order, drinks all round

Star, the voice of reason as always yep i will make sure i tie up all the ends.

Im running, before i can walk, i havent even looked at the school yet! Its just such a relief, i feel like a weight has been lifted. Not the end of the battle by far, but hopefully one less thing to deal with.

Silver, brilliant idea about the photos etc, , ds would find that extremely reassuring. He worries that he cant remember names (and he cant) but he never forgets a face. They wouldnt let me have photos while he was at old school, i doubt they are going to be helpful now he is leaving. Perhaps i should make it a condition of leaving, im sure they would oblige then, to see the back of me!

Will have a google for some books. Ds loves books and reading. He doesnt like being read to, but he can read it to me and we can chat about it to make sure he has understood what the words actually mean.

I was quite surprised that he wanted to have a look, thats unusual for him. I was expecting to have to stand outside the gate just looking for at least a week!

would he be able to follow a floor plan? maybe make a basic map of the school so he knows where he is going and what route to take?

I can look up the school one if oyu want - it's called something like Billy's first day at school, and was quite a nice book about a boy worrying he won't fit in (obviously no good if your ds might then expect the day to be exactly as in the book- eg circle time etc)

I found it helped dd a lot - loads of things came out that she was worried about, like sitting next to people, and about being able to put her shoeson, etc, and it wasnice to be able ot reassure her, and let her knowwhat she could say (and who to, thanks ot photos!) if she needed help.

oh, and forgot to say - dd1s current school - she ran straight in, started playing with all the toys and books, and pestered (nicely!) one of the teachers for attention the whole time we were there.

that's when we knew she would fit right in - she was comfortable form the off.

Just checked - the book dd1 liked is called Billy and the BigNEw School, by Catherine Anholt.

Silver you are amazing, maps are his thing. He has his own pocket sized A-Z, a map of England, a globe. He is fascinated by little details. He would absolutely love a map of the school. He would think any school who gave him a map, were amazing. He would change school, just for a map!

Thanks Silver i will have a look on amazon for Billy's first day. You have done enough already!

Silver, just looked, did you pay £25 for the book?

ooh, glad map suggestion would help. maybe you could visit with him, and then make one otgether at home? (would give oyu a big hint as to what he needs to know about!)

no way did I pay £25

I probably got it form Red House, in a set iirc - one about a new baby, the new school, one about emotions I think.

I've had a quick look -it's on there used form 1p - sorry no links, as on phone still

Called Billy and the big new school.

What would you guys do, would you send your ds back to this school? (old one)

I have just spoken to ASD Outreach who emailed SENCO yesterday with her recommendations, that ds attend school and be re-introduced to PE slowly with strategies in place. She offered to observe ds during this period. She said SENCO had emailed her back, but did not address the PE issue.

ASD Outreach are saying all they can do is make the recommendations, they cant force school to follow them.

Change schools definitely-You can lead a horse to water bit you can't make it drink.

I definitely would not send him there if I had an alternative. You have loads of info and recommendations for new school (if you choose to go there). Go and have your visit tomorrow and try not to get too excited

If oyu have a new place, evenif he can't start until September, I would withdraw him with immediate effect, if at all possible.

I took dd1 out of last school, had her at home for a month, before her startign part time for a month in december. was a hellish month, but so worht it.

if a place is confirmed, and you think it is right, don't make him go back. I worried what more damage the school might do to dd1 if we left her there. she is only young, like your ds, and I didn't want her to get into the habit (too much) of being scared of school, or refusing ot learn, etc. school has ot go on for a long time yet, for both of them - I didn't see the point in reinforcing the awfulness, tbh.

I mean would you send him back tomorrow? its not a PE day and he would usually attend.

If i go to interview and he cant start until September, could i home ed until then?

I owuld send him tomorrow, as it gives you spaceand time ot look aorund properly.

yes, you can home ed. we did, as dd1 was school age when we withdrew her (in Yr1, supposedly)

no one batted an eyelid, tbh.

as soon as you're sure you want him to go there, and have secured a place, that is when I would withdraw, if I were you.

then you have a solid plan to present ot ds, and also gives hima bit of space ot forget the old,and prepare for the new.